Lady Kassandra Starr the CyberKnight
by Charisma Belle
Summary: The life and times of a Cyber-Knight in training after growing up in the Coalition.


THE DIARY OF

LADY KASSANDRA STARR

Part 1

Chapter 1

DEAR DIARY!

I look out over the large farming property of my family; this place has been in my family for generations, given upon marriage to the first born child. I suppose if I ever married it would be mine. Funny how it just never feels right to me like this aint really home at all. Face it Kass, I tell myself, Tate and Marty can have the land, it was never what I wanted anyhow.

I sit here looking off and daydreaming as I do. It's my favorite part if the day, dawn, the sun just rising into the sky, the moon has yet to set, the earth still wet from the morning dew, and a freshness in the air of beginning. That's what a new day seems to me, beginning, and the hope of a new day, of good; wish the rest of the day could stay that way.

This morning however there is still the smell of smoke in the air from the Grayson's barn fire last night that took more than half their livestock. I heard folk say that if they don't ration out over the next few months they will be hurting this winter. I half feel as if I should do something but I know better, I know how Pa would react to such a thing from me.

It seems everyone in town were there last night trying to help in whatever way they could. Even Pa and my brothers helped. Men, women, boy's, even a few girls filled buckets of water, tended to the younger children, something, not me, I stood off feeling helpless watching the blaze and that was a feeling I hated more than any other, but I knew Pa by now, I knew better than to try to do any good.

At one point Mama tried reasoning with him for me.

"Have you gone daft woman," Pa had said in just above a whisper, last he wanted was any other hearing him speak of me in anyway.

"but Thomas other daughters are helping out with whatever they can, gathering supplies, getting drinks, watching children, why not Kassandra?" she asked

"That girl of yours is an abomination on mankind, I will not stand by and let anyone figure it out or think I had anything to do in that creation," Pa said

"She's just a child," mama argued, how many times they had that same argument I lost count years ago.

"She's a freak," Pa said, "and your freak, not my freak, I should have put an end to her at birth, had I know I would have."

I suppose years ago that would have hurt deeply, but now, knowing what I do, it seems a normal conversation.

I suppose I should explain more.

We live in a small rural town called Stillwater, in the state of Missouri, right in the heart of Coalition territory. Mostly its open land, a few farms, small families, we got a tavern and inn in one, and a general store, not much else. A few times a year we got barn dances but I never been to one. The town really only has two real roads and a few dirt paths. However most like it that way, small and cozy I done heard a few times, just those who belong and none that don't. I think our populations something like fifty people, not that we keep count, hell most can't count.

The majority of the town is coalition officers like my Pa, some retired officers, or the family they done left behind in death due to some battle agents anything different than they are.

Those officers do love there coalition, like my Pa does, it's there life and love and aint nothing changing it I gather.

From everything I ever heard Pa was raised Coalition, his Pa had been a officer as has Mama's Pa the great General Dane so many brag about. The story goes that Lt Starr had brought Pa to one of the Coalition gatherings and so had General Dane brought Mama, when they met they fell in love. Mama's pa was only too happy about the pairing for Pa had just joined up and they say grandpa swore he saw only good things in the lad. I say for being a great general and all he was a tad near sighted.

The courtship lasted three years than some battle come up and Pa went in with grandpa, leaving mama alone, than again most the men folk in town left to fight leaving the town itself unprotected.

I know in the battle grandpa Dane was hurt bad and Pa jumped in front of some gun fire to save him and another officer, only grandpa Dane died still and pa ended up real hurt, he lost an arm and a leg, part of his face too. If you ask me he lost his humanity along with the capability to love and see the shades of grey in anyone.

I know Pa spent quite some time in a hospital where he got machine parts that made him in my opinion more machine than man, yet he calls me the abomination.

Pa came home and he and mama married, not long after I was born. Some teased Pa about not being able to wait for the wedding night, less than a year after my birth Marty and Tate came together, a package deal if you will.

From everything I remember Pa was happy, a gentle and loving father. I can vividly remember him coming home from some travel and running to his arms, he would lift me without hesitation, up into the sky, like I truly were a bird I felt I could fly.

"you like that Kassie," Pa told me, "maybe one day you will be flying in the sky for real, a jet pack on your back."

I was little and I giggled as he pulled me down and tickled my sides, hugging me to him. Then he would carry me into the house to see the twins that always seemed more trouble than I had ever been, even Pa said it.

"The differences between boys and girls I suppose," Pa once said to mama as I sat on his lap falling to sleep after diner. "I don't remember Kassie ever being that much a problem."

"No, she was a good baby," mama agreed. "Never ill, never had a rash, never cried into the night."

"I'm a lucky man Sara, you know that," he said, "I got all I could ever want or need in this life, a beautiful and loving wife, twin boys even if there a handful, and my sweet little girl."

Three and a half years it was good, and then the boys came down with a bad fever and needed medication. Pa said he would take me with if only to keep me from the boys and chance my catching what it was they got.

"What do you say we stop and get us a soda Kassie," Pa said

"Ok," I said

I remember it completely, I had by hair pulled up into little blond piggy tails, they curled into ringlets, the little blue and white dress Pa had brought me back the last time he left, he said it made my eyes look bluer than they were.

The little lady I thought I was whenever Pa took me out with him this way.

In the tavern I sat at a table with that big bubby cherry soda.

"Well Kassie don't you look pretty today," Melissa said

I just giggled and danced about on the small dance floor alone.

Melissa was the woman who owned the tavern and run it, like mama she lived here most her life, her ma and pa bought the property when her pa retired from duty, than they both passed on leaving it with Melissa to care for. I think her and mama and pa known each other forever, it sure seemed that way.

In the corner sat an old woman I never saw before or since, than again it aint like I go to town that often. She was dressed in old looking ratty clothes and seemed to be missing most her teeth.

I saw her looking my way and she smiled my way.

"My you look the spitting image of him," the old woman says to me, her eyes penetrated me in a way like nothing I've ever seen, like I couldn't move away, though I wanted to run to Pa, for she scared me in a way. "Just like that traveler, his eyes, there's just something too pretty in your face, something not made by man alone."

Pa it would seem grew protective of me for he picked me up away from her gaze, maybe he knew I was afraid, I don't know.

"You're mistaken, this is my daughter," Pa said

"If you think that," the woman said as she stands up and heads for the door, "I'm afraid these old bones aren't what they used to be, I think I should call it a day now. I'm sure we'll meet again one day the young fair Kassandra."

With that she is gone and Pa sets me down once again at the table.

"Kassie stay here a moment," Pa said and why I now feel a fear of him I don't know.

He walked up to the bar keep Melissa in a way I hadn't seen before a military police fashion that I see makes Melissa nervous for she busy herself quickly.

"Melissa," Pa says.

"I know nothing Thomas," she says.

"You don't think I believe that do you," he says, "aint no one come or go in this town you don't know about, this is the only room's rented in town, and I know folk gossip something awful when whisky is involved."

"I swear Thomas,"

"I know your lying to me," he said more in that military tone, like questioning a suspect or something.

"Alright yes, there was a man come through a few years back," Melissa said, "it was while you were all away, he stayed here and helped out some of the woman with odd jobs and such, I know nothing more I swear it to you,"

"What was this man's name," Pa asked, "what did he look like, how long did he stay, has he been back since, try those questions!"

"He was a big guy, ok," she said, "dirty blondish brown hair, long but kept, had a beard, he was strong. He was here a few weeks, maybe longer I don't remember, but no he aint been back, I wish he would though, he was so kind to me."

"His name," Pa barked!

"Hercules!"

"Come along Kassandra," Pa barked at me, he had never spoken to me in that tongue before that day.

The hour ride back to the house was long and I felt more out of place than ever, for the first time in my young life fearing my Pa in a way I never thought I could.

They say children always see their Pa as the tallest, strongest man they ever met, even if he were only no taller than a ten your old boy, my Pa was over six feet easily, and part Borg, and I was scared of him, too much to speak really for I knew it had to do with me.

When we pulled up in front of the house Pa got out and left me alone. I slowly made my way into the house hearing the yelling come from up in mama and Pa's bed room.

Why I don't know but I went up there.

"I'm sorry Thomas," mama cried, "I never loved him, I, I was week, one week moment that was it, I just missed you so much and he eased the pain for a moment."

"She isn't," he yelled, "is she mine, she isn't is she, she was his and you lie to me."

"I don't know," mama cried

"You slut," pa yelled as he put his fist threw the wall by mamas head, he had held her up against the wall by her throat, "you lying ungrateful slut, I hate you, I hate you for this, and I hate her."

I was standing there in the door way watching as he let mama go and she crumbled to the floor crying. Pa looked at me, or threw me I don't know, and then he stormed off without a word to me.

"Mama," I cried as I walked over to her.

"Oh Kassie," mama cried, "Go to your room, stay there, you hear me."

"Yes mama," I said

That's when life took on a dramatic change.

Pa would go off to work for a few weeks and I was at ease, than he come home and I would run out to greet him the way I always had before, with my brothers at my feet, the boys he picked up and me, well, "what are you looking at, go back into the house for someone sees you." He barked

After a while I stopped trying, but I never gave up. I don't know why it was that I thought I could someday do something to make him proud of me but I was determined to do it.

Mama was making diner and I was helping by setting the table, I think I was four maybe closer to five, I don't remember.

"What is she doing here," pa barked when he saw me there.

"Setting the table for diner," mama said.

"No," he said, "I don't want her at my table; I can't stomach eating with an animal."

"Kassie he's just angry right now, he'll get over it," mama said as she set me up to eat in the old panty mama hadn't really used in so long.

Though she said it and though I was still quite young I doubted it ever happening, not unless I did something to regain him somehow.

I began wandering off, sometimes for hours at a time, I wandered all the way into the town by myself one day and saw a man sitting outside the general store smoking a cigar and reading threw some paper's. in all my life the only folk I met that traveled anywhere were coalition and that man sure didn't look like coalition to me, and reading, I aint never seen no one read a lick in my young life.

I guess I stared at him a bit.

"What's wrong girl aint you never seen a man before," he asked

"What's those marks on the paper for," I asked as I walked closer and looked over the page.

"Words," he said, "don't you read, oh yeah this is the CS states course you don't."

"I don't understand, what's it say," I asked

"say's a man's wanted out west for cheating good folk out of there hard earned credit, want him brought in dead or alive," he says, "that means you see this man and shoot him you still get your reward, don't matter to those folk what happens to him only that he don't pull his trick on others."

"How did you learn that," I asked

"My ma taught me when I was a boy," he said, "said reading was an important thing, separated the man from the beasts, said without knowledge were just like the animals we kill and eat."

I looked away feeling words pa has used often sting in my heart.

"Say how old are you kid?" he asked

"Five," I say

"Your ma or pa around somewhere?" he asked with a concerned look on his face.

"No sir," I said, "they don't pay much attention where I am."

"Why don't you sit down here and I'll teach you what I can about these here marks on the paper sweetheart."

He taught me a song about the abc's and what the sounds say, the next day I met him again and he showed me how to write my name in the back of a book that had letters in it, he even wrote my name in the back.

"Now Kassie you do me a favor ok," he said, "you be real careful who you talk to, traveling folk and all, not all are good or nice, and you're a sweet thing, I hate to think of someone causing you harm you hear me."

"Yes sir," I said

Proudly I ran home to show mama what I learned how to do thinking she would be proud of my small achievement. I didn't expect pa to be home, guess it were a good idea I didn't show them the book, I was smart enough to forget it in the field somehow.

"What the hell are you yelling about," pa yelled

"Oh Kassie," mama said, she stood between pa and I, "Thomas she's just a child, she doesn't understand,"

Pa saw my name written out on the table in sugar and glared at me.

"Get out of the way Sara," pa said

"She's still a baby," mama said

pa grabbed me by my arms and picked me up for the first time in two years, but not in a nice way, he shook me until I cried, yelling, "you ungrateful creature,"

"Please Thomas," mama cried

"She's not a child she's a monster, why can't you see that," pa yelled as he threw me into the wall hard enough that it actually cracked.

I think I passed out for next thing I knew I was in my room in my bed alone and my head hurt.

I spent the next few days in there alone; I just didn't come out unless I needed to use the restroom. I didn't care if I ate, I didn't care about much of anything, I think I was the darkest most depressing child there was.

It wasn't until the second day mama brought me food or checked on me, for all she knew I could have left already or died even.

She set the bowl of stew on the bed side table and sat on the bed running her fingers through my hair.

"You have to understand Kassie, he's afraid, you don't know what could happen, those things, there agents the law." Mama said

A tear escaped my eye, "he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you," she said

Wrong or not I couldn't get the letters out of my mind and I lay in my room tracing the letters in the dust and wiping them away. Wondering threw the property one day I found my book and hid it in a safe place in the chicken feed for I was the one who always fed the chickens.

Another year passed and suddenly pa couldn't stomach my sleeping so close to the family and I was moved down stairs into the small pantry as mama's food storage was kept in the kitchen.

The pantry was too small for a bed and I ended up with a small make shift bed on the floor, a few hooks to hang what clothes I had, and nothing else, not even a window.

Marty and Tate turned six and seven and pa brought them gifts, mama made them a cake and they were sung to over the diner I wasn't welcome at, not even to wish my brothers a happy birthday, than again no one wished me a thing.

By the time I was eight I had met quite a few travelers and learned anything I could from them, more reading, some writing, even how to count some. Then one day I ran into a man named Ben, he looked different and at first I was afraid of him cause he was pale skinned and had no hair and funny eyes. He says he's a psy-stalker, whatever that is, and he taught me more words, even how to teach myself some when there weren't travelers to do so. The next day I met him like he asked me to, behind the tavern as the sky got dark.

"Do you know what that is Kassandra," Ben asked and I shook my head? he knelt down next to me and pointed to the sky, "it's called an eclipse, the moon and sun can be seen together at the same time, the moon covers the sun and the sky grows dark for a moment in time, just a few small moments and then it's over, much like the average man's like span, a mere moment in time to some."

I looked at him confused.

"Out there, in the sky, there are other planets dear Kassie, other worlds with other kinds of people, some weaker and others stronger, or smarter, there are beings of great power that this world aint ready for, even worlds that been around thousands of years longer than this one.

"There are people out there that are special, like you are in ways, different but special," He said.

"I'm not special I'm a freak, something bad," I said sadly.

"I tell you what, when people are afraid of something they say those things, not cause they mean it or cause its true but cause they don't understand it themselves. I imagine there will be many who don't understand you and the strength in you. But out there is a world of beings that do, one day you will go there and feel you belong, just another one like them."

"Kassie what are you doing out here," Melissa asked as she came out to take out the trash, she looks at Ben and I and gives him a mean look. "Does your mama or pa know where you are or what you're up to?"

"No ma'am," I said.

"I guess that's my cue to be on my way," Ben said

"No," I cried, "Ben please don't go,"

"Sorry kid," he said, "maybe someday we'll meet up again and you can tell me of your great adventures, deal."

"I guess," I said and I watched him walk away.

"Why did you make him go," I asked

"Oh Kassie," Melissa said, "you're a very pretty girl, you really shouldn't be going off alone with strange men this way, someone could hurt you. Believe me Kassie your pa would be very angry to hear of it, someone could get hurt and not just you."

Back home a few days passed than pa comes out back where I play near the boy's, who's play mostly involves teasing and torturing me knowing good and well I can't do nothing about it, he stands there for a moment looking at me before speaking.

"Boys go play somewhere else," pa said

Oh I knew I was in trouble somehow and I couldn't imagine just what I had done. In my mind I have a hundred things go thru my head as to what I may have done to anger him, or maybe he just couldn't stomach me breathing his air no more.

He sits down on the steps but doesn't stop glaring my way.

"You want to tell me about Ben," he finally asked

I shook my head to say no, it was the last conversation I wanted to get into.

"What is it I have to do to get you to understand," he yells, as if I truly meant nothing to him anymore. I sat there afraid to speak, afraid not to, I really wanted to cry and yet I was afraid of that too.

However he was angry.

"What were you talking about," he yelled as he grabbed my arms tightly, for a machine he moved rather quickly.

"The eclipse," I cried

He let me go but only for a moment, he was growing angrier by the moment and he back handed me with the still human hand and I fell again, only this time he only hurt my feelings and he wasn't satisfied with that.

I lay there crying some as he came closer to me and hit again and again as I felt ribs cracking under my chest, making it hurt to breathe, yet still he hit me.

"Thomas," mama yelled as she ran outside, "stop, you'll kill her,"

"She's just a monster," he yelled at her but he stopped hitting me, leaving me lying there bleeding and crying. "know this little girl, Ben was arrested and put to death this morning for what they think he was doing out there alone with you, men like that aint right in the head."

Within a few days my ribs have healed up, but nothing could heal my soul from the knowledge I caused a man to lose his life.

Chapter 2 HOW IT WAS!

I sit here on the front porch alone, drinking a cup of that rot gut coffee pa loves so, maybe he lost his sense of taste with his humanity, I wonder.

No one knows I write in this journal, I would surely get in trouble for this if discovered yet still I do, like it's for my own sanity. It's only this time of day really I write, or read, without being caught. It's one of the reasons I get up so early, that and to smell the freshness of a new day, see the sun rise into the sky, reflect on the things I just don't understand really. It's this time of day I feel at peace with the world, even with myself and my thoughts.

Out there in the distance I hear them, the farm hands Pa puts to work every now and again, work is hard to come by and often hands come calling to see if there are any odd jobs they can get, few he hires, they stay on a while and grow bored, maybe intolerant, of pa and his ways, and they leave, than some other comes in and takes the place for a short while. Don't think we ever had one hand stay more than a year really.

Few years back a man saw pa hit me the way he did, over Ben, he made the mistake of saying something to pa about it.

"You handle your job and I'll handle my problem child here, you can't handle that boy be on your way with you," was all pa said to him.

The next morning he was gone but not before trying to talk me into leaving with him. How many times I thought of that I don't know, I wish with everything in me that I had sometimes, than I realize there are far worse lives out there than the sad one I live and wonder just how bad it could have been. Maybe that's really what it is that keeps me here and not running away, the fear of the unknown, for I overheard pa talk many times of slavery in parts, woman, even girls being taken away by strangers for some work I was too young to understand.

At least here when I am old enough I can leave or maybe stay and make a home for myself, maybe find my own way somehow.

Besides what would happen to mama if I weren't here to watch over her?

We aint got much for a hand to do really, a few cow, the two buffalo pa acquired a few years back, a couple horses, and mama's garden that kept us in fresh goods when the weather was right. We had turkeys, a few hens' that were good at laying eggs. Feeding the turkey and chickens I took on years ago to keep my hiding place to myself, that and to keep my morning privet, the way I like it. Not that it were the only chore I did, no pa thought women's work for women only, he never made the boys raise a hand to help with none of that. Not that they didn't have their chores, like keeping up that lawn mama wanted a few years back and pa had put in. the house chores were mine, like the cooking and cleaning of the kitchen, cleaning of the house, it made me often feel as if I truly were a slave anyhow but I didn't see what chose I had in the matter.

I began it find it almost funny that I weren't human enough to eat at the same table as pa but he could eat a meal I helped prepare.

My brothers, or monsters as I often saw them, did nothing to help, if anything they went out of their way to make more of a mess for me to clean up. Purposely walking thru the house and leaving muddy foot prints, than looking at me with a smile, "oops, sorry," Marty would say and I knew he was just making an ass out of himself.

It seemed no sooner did I get one room picket up and on to another did they come in and take everything back out again, just to make more work for me.

"You two are disgusting monsters you know that," I said one day out of anger. It's not that I had anywhere to go or anything to do, no I hadn't gone into town sense Ben died for fear of meeting someone else that would get punished because of me.

"We aren't the monsters you are," Marty said

"That's why pa can't stand you," Tate chimed in with his twin

"You're not even our sister really," Marty said "just some stupid orphan left out on a road no one wanted."

"That's not even true," I said. I was now ten and yes I knew how differently I was treated than the boys. I would be lying to say part of me didn't fear they were right somehow, that it were true, I was just an abandoned baby no one ever wanted and pa got stuck with somehow. Lord knows I didn't look nothing like my family. Over the last few years the baby blond hair everyone thought would turn brown had only slightly darkened into a dirty blond, my eyes too, still the same deep blue, even the twins eyes changed to brown, though Tate's were a lighter brown than Marty's. My face was shaped differently than mamas, differently than anyone really, more symmetrical someone once said, no imperfections, like most had.

It was a hand that said it, a guy named Wesley Knobs who was working for us that summer.

"You sure are a pretty thing," he said as I were out helping mama hang the wash, she had gone in the house to get pa some more lemonade while he worked in her lawn. "Someone in haven must have smiled down on you child, your face is just perfect, I bet your going to be a real looker."

"I'll take it as I kindness you stop paying so much attention," pa told him.

"I apologize sir, I didn't mean a thing by it, only a compliment," he said.

"She don't need no nice words like that," pa said

Later that night I overheard mama and pa talking in the kitchen, hell in the pantry how could I not over hear?

"Sara something got to be done about that girl," pa said

"What now Thomas," mama said, "She isn't doing anything to upset you."

"Her being here upsets me, her breathing upsets me," pa said, "there is a problem beginning to brew we got to deal with, for some poor guy stumbles into her."

"She is ten," mama said.

"dame it Sara I know that," pa said, "I also know that I'm a man, I see what that Wesley sees, the way her body has changed already and the changes still coming, I've seen men, much too old to turn their heads to the likes of a girl her age, men I know aint bad guys, give her a second, even a third glance.

"What shall I do about what nature is doing to her," mama asked sarcastically.

"For one thing you can stop treating me like a fool damn it," he snapped, "she dressed too provocatively for a girl like that, she need not advertise goods she don't got for sale."

"Once again she is only ten," mama said.

"Her numbers may be ten but her body says old enough, to a boy, even a man, you got to find a way to hid that, or she got to go."

These ugly baggy dresses became my wardrobe, with a skirt reach below my knee and stretched out sleeves. If anything I put on fit well enough to show anything it was taken away and gone.

The next time pa was gone mama sent the boys out to play alone than turned to me.

"I'm glad we have this time alone to talk," mama said

"About what," I asked

"Girl things," she said, "you're getting to an age where things will happen and I want to prepare you for it some,"

"Mama," I cried thinking that it would be just another reason for pa to hate me.

"Kassie dear it's just a normal part of becoming a woman," she said.

"Yeah, like I'm normal," I said under my breath.

"Excuse me,"

"I know mama, I know," I cried looking at her.

"You know what?"

"I know I'm different," I said, "I know pa hates me, I know he aint my pa, everyone knows it, they say you're not my mama either, they say you found me, that no one wanted me."

"Oh Kassandra that is just untrue," mama said, "I'm your ma, I carried and gave birth to you and plenty folk in town can be witness to that."

"But," I cried.

"No butt's," mama said, "we are your parents for better or worse sometimes we are your parents, there are witnesses, it's been recorded, now enough of this foolishness you hear me girl?"

"yes mama," I said but truly it wasn't enough, truly there were things I wanted to say, to ask, I just didn't know how and I was a little afraid of even mama.

The things she said were to come never came and in a funny way I felt like even more of a freak because of it.

I hear movement in the house and quickly put my note book away, hiding it in a bedspread left on the line last night that needed brought in. in my small room I hide it under the make shift bed on the floor knowing no one would look there for anything. Then I go to the kitchen to start preparing the morning meal of fresh eggs and ham form the Williams pig they butchered few days back, they were kind enough to share the hog saying he gave more than expected. But truthfully I think they are trying to butter up pa for some reason. I done heard mama tell him more than once there son Kent had an eye on me, but pa just rolled his eyes.

"You know there is a dance in the tavern this week Thomas, we could go, the boys are old enough to be alone, and maybe Kassie and Kent will hit it of the way we had as children."

"Absolutely not," pa said and I felt relived for truly I wasn't interested in courting some boy from our town, any town really.

When I was younger I was curious of those get together's, I guess I still am, but not in a boy.

As I cooked pa come out and sits at the table and I tried with everything in me to not look his way. Over the last year it seemed we had us a truce of sorts and I wasn't about to break it for nothing.

"Good morning Kassie, how did you sleep?" mama asked as she come out.

"Fine thank you," I said.

"You mind I'm trying to eat here," pa barked and I knew it was me not mama, oh how he hated anything about me.

"Yes well," mama said, "go ahead about your day than."

Chapter 3

Dear diary, ATHENA!

Funny how it feels to write that, but from what I know that's how it goes.

After two years I finally gave in and headed back in town dressing in a pair of overly baggy brown boy's trousers and a large button up shirt I hated, but it was what mama had gotten for me the last time she and pa went into the next town together. I wondered with nothing more but an old quest for knowledge in my head remembering the old stories the travelers that come thru used to tell and how I loved sitting there and listening to them.

This old woman once patently told of a girl a long time ago named Cinderella, and as I listened to the story I always felt as if the story were about me.

Oh sure I know that by doing this, re-perusing my love of knowledge, I risk the wrath of pa and that one day he would surely end my very existence because of it but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to learn.

"what a pity," I heard a woman say as her bluish grey eyes swing my way, lightly she brushes her blond hair off her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I said looking her way.

This woman was like no one I had ever met before; her hair was long and straight, a dirty blond, nearly my color exactly. Her eyes a penetrating blue, bright and alive. She walked with a confidence I couldn't understand, I had never really seen a woman like that ever, not even the very few travelers I met who were women.

"I said it was a pity," she said

"What is," I asked

"Well look at you," she said and I look down feeling rather self-conscious of myself. "You're what eleven now, going on twelve?"

"Yes, how did you know," I asked

"I'm good at guessing these things," she said, "I'm sure you're considered a rare beauty in these parts, are you not."

"I don't know," I said.

She smiled warmly, "come, I enjoy conversation when I eat."

She ushers me in to the tavern and over to a corner table that she said looked cozy for privet conversation.

"May I get you anything," Melissa asked as she walked up to us and I prayed that pa hear nothing about this.

"Yes, please, meat, bread, a vegetable of some kind," this woman said, "Come child you look like your skin and bones, I insist."

When I didn't respond for I just knew now pa would know about it she spoke up again.

"Two please, and two drinks also if you will," the woman said.

I looked at Melissa hopping beyond hope that she not tell pa.

"Very well," Melissa said than she walked away.

"You really didn't have to do that," I said

"Didn't have to or shouldn't have," the woman asked.

"Didn't have to, it's very kind of you though," I said

"But you're nervous of it also, why?"

"My pa hearing about it," I said, oh normally I didn't open up to anyone, never let on to Ben that my pa would be angry with me for anything, it was something I just accepted as my fate and kept to myself, so why was I telling this strange woman anything? "He may not be happy with me, he don't like me bothering travelers and the such."

"Well we will just call it payment for company and see to it that your pa doesn't hear anything." She said

"I still don't understand," I admitted.

And I didn't, I didn't understand how I could look at this woman and see more of a resemblance to me than I do to my own mother, why a part of me feels completely comfortable in her presence, and yet I still question it all.

"Let's start by your telling me why it is that you dress like an overzealous boy than the beautiful girl you are?" she asked

"Pa said so," I said.

"I see Kassandra," she said, "catching some eyes already are you now, must be discomforting for a child your age, you're not exactly old enough quite yet to understand what it is there looking at or why?"

"I don't pay much attention," I said, and then I realize that I never told her my name, I don't remember Melissa saying it either. "How do you know me?"

"you know my dear child the world is large and vast," she said, "there are parts where your Coalition haven't touched yet and parts it never will, there are worlds out there that are beautiful and worlds that are quite desolate, I'm sure that one day you will see that for yourself my dear."

I just look at her, I mean truly the only one to ever speak to me this way was Ben, the only one that promised anything better or had hope I would be a part of more than what I was now, yet she dodged my question well.

Melissa brought our plates and we eat as this woman tells me of some of the places she has seen in her days and I'm surprised at just how much she has seen for there is so much and she doesn't appear to be that old.

She tells me of beings she believes in, beings of great power that have touched many earths, and of the constellations and how the stars themselves and the pictures they make at night are reserved for the greatest of hero's.

"there was once a man so great, so strong, there truly wasn't anything he couldn't do," she said, "he cared, he loved, there wasn't anything he did that only contained a part of his heart, everything he loved and believed in he gave his all too, including his family."

"I thank you for the company Kassie," she said after we were finished and walking over to her horse outside. "And I have something for you, something special."

"What," I asked, truly not understanding why she would have anything for me, I mean I didn't really know this woman and she had already done so much for me, what more could she give me?

She reaches into the bag on her horse and pulls out a book that said 'Greek Mythology a history of the Olympian gods', and she hands it to me, it looks old, pre-cataclysm even.

"Wow," I say as I hold it in my hands feeling as if it were the most priceless piece of history I had ever seen let alone held in my hands before. Let's face it it was the one thing that would get me in the most trouble too.

"you know Kassie, some hero's go thru a lot to get to where they are, like you there misunderstood by many," she said, "like them you have a good heart to go along with your beauty and the great strength that grows every year. One day this will be just a ripple, a moment in time, and you will be grown, you will be a hero for many."

She begins to simply walk away without another word.

"Wait," I called, "you never told me your name?"

"Athena," she said.

"You never told me how you know my name either,"

"a great man told me," she said as she stopped and looked at me, "a great man, who is gentle, heroic, and very strong, a man, a hero, a brother, who I know cared a great deal for his family, for his offspring."

With that she climbs up on her horse and is gone without another word, leaving me to ponder all that she has said.

I wonder off, toward home, into the thick forest where I know I can be alone and at peace to think. Under a tree I sit and open the book and begin to read. I think I spent the next few days doing just that, sitting here and reading about beings calling themselves gods, one in particular calling herself Athena, only in the one black and white drawing she is in full armor and I can't see her hair or eyes, her features really.

I read and re-read over the stories of a man named Hercules; they don't call him a god only the son of one, some guy named Zeus, at the time the name sounded familiar I just couldn't quite place just from where I had heard it. I told myself it must have been someone; maybe a heroic traveler or story teller must have told years ago.

It only really took me a week to read the near four hundred page book, and then I hid it away with my other book and my journal, where they can be safe from destruction.

How many times Athena's words trailed there my mind I don't know but I'm sure she changed me in a way, her words and her faith in me.

Weeks pass and a heat hit us that made life unbearable hot during the day hours, evening comes and pa goes out to help work in the fields, Marty and Tate behind him, it's finally cooled down enough to do so. The last few nights they worked into the night, I wouldn't mind them doing that every night to be honest.

"My, my Kassie where is your mind at tonight," mama asked? I wasn't aware I had lost myself in thought until she said something, than I felt a little self-conscious for I was thinking of the night sky and all those heroes who lived now in the star's.

we were in the kitchen just working on the last few dishes and I was hoping to go out in the field the way I had the last few nights and stare up into the sky and imagine the people they had been and just what they had done to become one with the sky.

"Nowhere," I said

"Now Kassie do you take me for a fool child," mama asked in a teasing fashion. "I'm your mother I know when you're lost to me. You do know that you can talk to me too you know, you can tell me things and ask me things child."

Could I really, I wondered, should I dare try?

"Mama," I asked in hope it was ok, it was a risk I needed to take, "does the coalition go everywhere or are they just in some parts?"

"The world is a big place child," she said

"I know," I said, "one day I would like to see it all, travel the land, see the wondrous places."

"Oh you would would you," mama said

I just smiled, than I pressed my luck some more, "mama, do you ever wonder what life used to be like before the cataclysm destroyed so much?"

"When I was a girl perhaps," she said, "but now I really don't have time for such notions, it's something I suppose you grow out of in time."

"Mama," I asked, "Do you ever wonder what my life will be like when I'm older?"

"yes," she said, "sometimes I look at you, at the way you look at things and I see your mind working, the way my pa used to, and I think you have it in you to lead the same way he did, be a great officer the way he was. Other times I see how patent you are and I think of what a great mother you would make."

"Me, a mother," I said, "no, oh no, no, no, not me, I been reading of these goddesses who hold their virginity like a prize or weapon, or power, or something, they make a vow to never ever, and it doesn't sound that bad."

I catch myself too late and look at mama wishing with everything I can take it back.

Her face is flush white and she says nothing.

"Mama, I'm sorry," I cried

"Where did you hear of goddesses?"

"Under a tree," I said, "please mama it was a gift, I didn't ask for it or anything."

"From who?"

"A woman," I said, "Athena, she was coming thru town."

"Kassandra," mama said but then pa walked thru the door and she said no more.

"What are you two yapping about, aint you got enough to keep your minds working, you got time for silliness, I know I can find something in the field you can do,"

He comes in the door with both boys right behind him.

"Thomas," mama said, "are you done already,"

"No, just coming for a drink," he said, he looked from mom to me and the fear in me grew larger.

"Mama," I said

"Nothing Thomas, it was just girl talk," mama said

Pa's eyes settled on me and I knew he saw the fear in my eyes, it wasn't something I could hide well, and then again he was the one who usually put fear in my eyes was he not?

"That true girl," pa asked and I nodded, "you aint lying to me are ya?"

I couldn't answer, I just looked down.

"She's been reading some book pa," Marty said, "talking about heroes and gods and such, said some woman in town gave it to her."

"Where is it?" pa asked more calm than I expected.

"I don't have it anymore," I lied, "I gave it back when I was done reading it."

Oh I could see the anger burning in him, I could feel it too, I knew a fight was coming up and I wasn't too sure if I would be ok this time.

He said nothing just grabbed me by the back of my neck and pulled me out of the house, by now we both knew if we got into it in the house we could likely destroy it in anger.

He dragged me in the barn and threw me down.

"Please pa I'm sorry," I cried.

"You're sorry," he said, "you're sorry, you're always sorry but you never get it,"

I saw it; I saw it days before and thought nothing of it, a big metal box, big enough for a small body, like me.

My eyes went to it a second to long as I realized what was going on in his head.

He back handed me harder than I think he had ever hit me before, with the cybernetic arm this time, and I flew some, than he pulled me up by my neck.

"It's over girl," he said, "I had it, I aint doing this anymore, I'll be rid of you one way or another."

The world went dark and next thing I knew I was opening my eyes but couldn't see it was just too dark to see, to tight of a space to move.

The smell of metal engulfed my lungs but the small amount of air would only hold out so long I realized where I was and began to panic.

"Help," I yelled and screamed, "please let me out, please."

Not one response, not a knock on the metal, not anything.

Come on Kass, I thought, your stronger than that don't freak out, just get out of this.

I began to push on the metal with all my strength but it was stronger than I thought it would be and only barely dented.

I took a deep breath and tried pushing once more harder and it budged only a little more.

I dropped my head and cried for myself, sure that this was my end, I was dead just didn't know it yet, my stubbornness wouldn't let me accept it yet.

I cried as the smell of the metal permeated my senses more and more and anger took over, than I pushed again and again until it budged just enough to truly scare me for dirt began to poor in threw the small cracks I had managed in the metal. As I realized I had not only been caged but buried too, buried alive and left for dead, I cried some more, the smell of the metal mixed now with the smell of the dirt permanently etching in my mind.

The next time I tried to push on the metal my arm went thru it and it sliced into my flesh deep enough for the blood to begin to pour out and I screamed out in pain, but I continued to fight my way out of the metal coffin, cutting and scraping my arms and even my face and legs on my way out, until finally I pulled myself free and out of the grave I was in, as the sun shined down on the earth.

I collapsed to the dirt and cried some more as sleep finally took over me.

When I woke the wounds on my arms were still bleeding enough to leave a small puddle of my blood on the ground, in the dirt.

I still felt weak, than again I had lost some blood and I knew what that did to one. Dirt and blood, my blood, covered my body, caked on with my sweat from fighting my way out.

I pulled myself to my feet and stumbled into the house.

"Kassie," mama said when she saw me; I just shook my head and walked passed her into my room to grab one of my ugly dresses and head for the shower in the bath room I was allowed to use.

I stood there for a long time letting the water poor over my body, letting the dirt wash off. Before I dressed I pulled out the bandages mama kept for the boys and hands and wrapped my wounds so as to not bleed on myself anymore, so as to heal up easier.

It wasn't until I walked back into my small room that I realized the mess it was in, my so called bed was in shambles, everything was thrown about. Pa must have been looking for my book or books only he didn't know there was more than one of them, I'm just glad that I had found a new place for them only days before, in the barn, in the back, there was a small piece of wood in the wall that moved away and had a nice hiding place. I told myself that in a day or so I would bring my books back inside and put them somewhere else again before pa found them, I even thought of hiding them in a part of the property pa don't go, like the help quarters.

For now I lay on the mess that once was my bed and pass back out into a deep sleep for over a day.

No one woke me, not even mama for food, I had half expected her to come to me, to check on me, she didn't, partly it hurt, and partly I was used to it by now.

It would seem that peace took over, but truly I just stayed out of pa's way mostly, I woke early and went to bed late, I stayed out of the house when he was there unless there was a chore I was to do. Twelve came and went followed by thirteen as I wondered the property, happily sitting under a tree and staring off into nothing to let my mind wander.

Marty and Tate seemed to have been bored for they followed me about for days looking for anything to tell pa I had done, I just wasn't in the mood to give it to them. So I sit there and do nothing, and they pretend to be practicing play with their wood swords pa got them.

I collected small flowers from the property on my way here and now I sit thinking, day dreaming, and braiding flowers into a crown. Just off our property the Eriksson's little girls, Emily and Betty played hopscotch on their uneven squares. Out of the corner I watched with a smile at the sweetness of their innocents.

Then I felt something strange, a sickening knot in my stomach like nothing I had ever felt before. I looked up and saw him, over by the trees, not far from the girls, a man I aint never seen before. He were tall, maybe seven and a half feet tall, with long mud brown hair, than again it may have been just that coated with mud. His skin looked bubbly, like he were covered in boils or something, his lips thicker than three man's lips, and he were dressing in mud covered ratty clothes.

I looked at him and he was watching the girls with great interest that makes my stomach knot even more than it was.

I stood knowing he aint looking my way through my brothers were.

"Marty, Tate, run home, get pa quick as you can, tell him to bring his gun, this can be real bad." I say but they don't move, he dose though, closer to the girls who pay no attention other than what they play.

The man draws closer, I saw him licking his lips as I run over to the fence, the knot in my stomach driving me to do something I aint never thought I would. I jump the small fence in one leap without really trying.

"boy's go," I yell and the girls look up just in time for he grabs at both girls and Betty, when she looked up moved just out of reach, Emily aint as lucky, he grabbed her and holds her tight in his powerful arms as the two girls begin to cry in fear.

Glancing over my shoulder I see the boys running off in hope they are doing what I had asked them to and not just running for their own safely.

"Ok girls it's going to be ok," I said, "I promise you, now Emily, It'll be ok, I won't let you get hurt."

I tried to get Betty to go, to run for her own safely, but she were too scared and crumbled to the earth crying.

If it weren't for the girls being there and being scared I don't know what I would really have done, but I tried talking to it, in hopes of easing the girls if nothing else than stalling the monster till pa got there.

"Now you can walk away from here as long as you give me the girl," I say

He said nothing.

"Please she is scared," I say, "just hand her to me and go or my pa will get here with his big gun and shoot you dead."

He only laughed and that sick feeling only got stronger and stronger, but there was something in me building too, anger, more so than I ever felt in my young life, I wanted him hurt, no I wanted to kill him; I wanted him dead.

In one strong arm he holds Emily tighter still, with the other he pushes me, only somehow I grab him by his arm and I punch the monster in the gut a little harder than I guess he expected a little girl to be able to do, for he dropped Emily to the earth and hunched over some.

I grabbed the girls by the arm and pushed them away some before he grabbed my arm.

"You just cost me my lunch you bitch," he said with a gargled voice, as my bravery started to fall away. I had no idea what it was I was doing, I had never really been in a physical confrontation before, unless you count pa, but then again I never fought back did I?

He pulled me closer and held me so tightly that I couldn't really breathe and I started to panic.

Oh don't do this Kass; I told myself, don't freak just get free.

I somehow managed to bend over and get free; then I threw him some into a tree and pa showed up and shot him a few times killing him.

The poor girls still sat there no more than two feet from the fight crying in fear and I went to them with my only thought to their comfort.

I couldn't think of me or how I felt, the fear I felt knowing pa was near me.

"It's ok," I said to them as I held them to me, "it's over, he can't hurt you, you're safe,"

Pa walked over and took the girls from me, holding them in his arms in a way I barely remember him ever holding me, he gave me such a hateful look and walked off with the girls to their house.

"Go home," was all he told me before he left.

Oh so slowly I made my way back to the house fearing the wrath I had just brought on myself this time yet not regretting it ether, no I would have hated myself if I sat there and watched that man walk off with the girls, if anything had happened to them, I would have lived out the rest of my life wondering what I could have done to help them.

The moment mama saw the look on my face she paled some.

"Kassie," she asked.

"Pa's mad," I said, "real mad this time, I messed up bad,"

I couldn't help but wonder, I mean last time I angered him he buried me alive, this was worse and I knew it, what was he going to do, partly I was surprised he didn't accidentally shoot me while he shot the man.

"Oh Kassandra what did you do?"

I just shook my head and wrapped my arms around myself protectively as I began to cry for myself.

I saw pa come across the yard, so did the boys and they scattered which was unusual, usually they enjoyed seeing me punished, this time they ran off nervously.

"Thomas what happened," mama asked, "are the girls ok, are they hurt?"

Pa ignored her and looked at me with a hate in his eyes.

"What were you thinking?" he yelled.

"He was bad, I could feel it in him, he was bad," I cried, "I couldn't just sit there and let him pick them up and wonder off with them could I?"

"Stop saying that," he yelled, "how many times must I tell you, I tried and tried to get you to understand but your dim mind don't get it. They will kill you if they find out what you are. They will prosecute you, lock you up, and experiment on you, until you are dead. Your mama can't live with that or I would have gladly turned your ass in long ago."

"But he was going to kill them, he said they were his lunch," I argued, "there little girls not food, if the boys had come for you when I told them to you would have got there before I did anything anyhow."

He hit me in the face with the cybernetic arm and I flew back into the table and it broke in pieces.

"You're a dirty disgusting creature, I should have killed you the moment she spit you out," he said, "you're an abomination, a stain on your kind, not human, with a face and a body meant to lure unknowing fools to their demise."

He came after me again hitting me and mama actually tried to stop him.

"Thomas stop, please," she seemed to beg.

Pa pushed her away and she fell back.

He grabs me by my hair and pulls me up, dragging me from the house by my hair and to the barn; I swear he pulled out a good portion of my hair.

"You're an animal," pa said, he grabbed a chain, like you would use on a prisoner, and put it around my ankle, not long enough to get out of the barn though. "Live like the animal you are."

There he left me, chained up in the barn, like I were worth no more than a cow.

I tried a few times to break the chain but it were too strong even for me.

I lay there in the dirt and some hay for I had no bed, no blanket, nothing, just hay and the turkeys and chickens to keep me company.

Every day mama had one of the boys bring me my plate of food, the one meal pa was forced to feed me, but more often than not they spilled it, I think purposely, and no one ever go me another plate.

I lay there for a long time looking off at nothing, not really thinking of anything, just being, or maybe not being, I don't know.

It seemed I was starting, day by day, to get better at not needing to eat or drink, or at least abstaining from it longer. The filth was another story, that I couldn't handle, oh how I hated being dirty.

I knew I was more than a little dirty, I couldn't get my fingers through my hair it was so knotted up, I could see the dirt on my skin.

"Well looky here," I heard a man say and I looked up to see one of the hired farm hands. I think I had been asleep or in a trance or something, I don't know. "What a sight for sore eye's you are."

I didn't like it or him, in fact I didn't like him sense he showed up, like the man that got me stuck out here I had felt that sick feeling in my gut, I knew something was wrong or bad in him, I just knew it. I backed away as far as I could get into the corner and pulled my legs in close to my body.

"What's wrong with you girl aint you got a voice," he asked, "coarse you don't need a voice what I'm thinking, easier that way even."

"You're evil," I said, even if I knew I shouldn't have.

He come closer to me and touched my face as I felt my body start to shake from a fear I didn't understand just yet.

"you want to tell me what exactly it is your thinking of doing here, I warn you boy, my pa taught me to use a gun, he never thought a woman should be weak," mama said and she were holding Grandpa Danes old rifle.

"Oh nothing ma'am," he said, "It's just the girl, she seems so sad is all."

"Liar," I said

"How's you let my daughter be my problem, here." She said

"Yes ma'am," he said and he hurried himself out of the barn leaving me be.

Mama set the rifle down and come to me, running her hand over my hair.

"oh Kassie, you got to understand, pa believes in the coalition, and so do I," she said, "DB's and such, folk being different, it aint right and it aint allowed. Your pa is a decorated officer, much like his pa was and mine was, he knows too well how they handle these problems, if they discovered what you do and all you are."

"now I'll unlock you, let you come back into the house like a person, but you got to promise me that you will behave yourself, you understand?" mama said and I nodded, though truly I didn't, I mean would her pa have just stood there and let that man have those little girls or would he have done much the same I did?

As she unlocked the chain she continued, "it's not just for you you know, but us too, if they were to find out and prosecute you, they would your pa, your brothers, even me, we could all be arrested, stand trial, loose our home, our honor, everything, and pa has high hopes for the boys enlisting in a few years, that would be all but gone, they would never take the boys if they knew about you."

I followed her back into the house and gathered some clean clothes, than I headed for the bath room for a shower to clean off the mud of a two weeks being tied up in the barn that way. Oh did it take forever to work through my hair but finally I did, than I went to my room again and lie down and fell asleep once more.

Chapter 4 MRS. ROBERT MARSHAL?

That was a little over a year ago and somehow pa and I have been at peace, I have stayed out of his way and he out of mine, even Marty and Tate haven't fanned the flames and I aint giving reason to either.

I only write in this diary during the morning when I know good and well he is still sleeping for pa's snorer is mightier than his fist, mama used to say he could wake the dead from there peaceful sleep at night when he gets going.

I've come to recognize the different sound from him being good and asleep and his waking of even and I know it's time I put my things away and begin making up some breakfast, hash and eggs today sounds good. Another pot of the rot gut coffee pa loves so as it's fresh for him and mama, than they aint got no complaints.

Pa says nothing as he comes out and pours himself a cup of coffee than sits down, but I feel his eyes on me, I just don't look his way no more, I learned to ignore his looking my way. I begin busing myself with chores until I hear him leave the house calling after the boys to hurry up. "I want to get that well finished before the days over hear me boy's,"

"Yes pa," they say.

To me the twins always looked alike, yet over the last year they have changed some, Marty still looked and acted much the same, but I think Tate were maturing in a way, he just stopped being as much a handful.

I already got the wash done and hung and there is the extra things mama wanted washed for fall is in full swing now and the colder months are coming up, makes it harder to get things done, than again that's why pa is working on the well too, last winter it froze up and we had no water for a few days.

I hear a hover vehicle and look up, out the window, we aint never had company here, not for a good long time at least. Three men get out of the jeep in different age brackets but it's more than obvious they are related, they look too much alike. The oldest in coalition armor, no helmet though, his grey hair in perfect place, the next looked a few years older than me maybe, his hair brown, than I imagine the older one's once was too, Than they youngest of the three in black pants and a coalition t-shirt.

Mama looks too, "oh Kassie, please, please be on your best behavior,"

"Yes mama," I say.

I watched mama go outside but I stayed in behind her. The idea that they were here scared me more than pa really.

I would be lying to say a part of the back of my mind wasn't thinking that pa sent for them, that he were really gonna rid himself of me and mama knew nothing just yet.

But mama smiled at these men as if she knew them.

"Why Lt. Marshal what in the heavens are you doing in these parts," mama said?

The older man comes forward with a smile, "Sara Dane, still the prettiest girl in these states."

"I may have to debate that," mama said

"Oh really and who dare I ask would you think is prettier than you are," Lt Marshal asked?

"Oh I'm not a young woman anymore Bob and I know it well," mama said

"Oh poppy cock," he said, "now where is that husband oh yours hiding himself?"

"Thomas is in the field with the boys," mama said

"Oh look at me forgetting my manners and all," Lt. Marshal said, "you remember my boys, Robby and Jackson, Robby just sighed up this year."

"You don't say, how the time flies," mama said, "I'm sure Lillian was pleased, how is she, and where is Fannie?"

"Oh we got time for that I think in a bit," he said.

"That we do," mama said, "well my boys are out in the field with their pa, and my Kassie is in the house being shy."

"Please come in and sit, have some coffee," mama said and they all began coming in the house as I busied myself putting on a fresh pot of coffee for our guests.

"Jackson, why don't you go and see if you can find us a machine man and two boys your size," Lt. Marshal told the youngest of his sons.

"Yes sir," he said and ran off before they come in the door.

Oh I was afraid for real now, what happens to me, to all of us, if they realize something is wrong with me?

Lt. Marshal looked my way, though I tried with everything to not look at him much.

"Now Kassie don't be rude, come meet our guests and old friends," mama said, and then she turned and introduced me. "Bob, Robby, this is my daughter Kassandra. Kassie, Lt Bob Marshal, he served under your Grandfather."

"Well I certainly stand corrected Sara, if you don't mind my saying, I believe your now the second prettiest girl in these states, your daughter here is the prettiest." He said and I felt my cheeks redden. Maybe he realized how shy I was for he took his eyes off me and changed the subject, speaking mostly to his son, Robby, who looked at me more than a few times as his pa talked.

"now General Dane," Lt. Marshal said, "that was a leader like no other I ever served under before or sense, he could lead a man to do anything, you just felt his courage and he shared that courage with the whole team."

"You listening boy," he asked his son.

"Yes pa," Robby said, "you don't say, he must have been a good man to work with, maybe could teach my general a thing or two."

"What's that boy?"

"Oh he's a good guy and all but I feel more like he's a friend than a leader sir, don't know if all our guys would listen to order if he gave any out," Robby said.

"Now what is this about Lillian and Fannie?"

"oh Fanny went and got herself, well she had to get married if you know what I'm saying, Lillian is heartbroken, said it was my fault for not paying the kids enough attention. In truth I rather Tom not hear of it, but I guess that's why the boys and I are spending this time together, because my Lillian thought we needed some male bonding or some such silliness."

"How is Lillian doing?"

"She's dealing; she's been staying with the newlyweds a lot, afraid if she leaves them a moment they may do something stupid, you know my wife though."

Oh I felt as out of place as a third wash handle and mama knew it, then I saw pa coming toward the house and started feeling even worse still.

"I think I'll go check the wash," I muttered and mama smiled.

"Go ahead Kassie," she said and I let myself out the back door before pa came in the front one.

Oh right now in there was the last place I wanted to be, especially with pa there too.

The wash was still wet and I knew it would be, so I sat there on the back porch and picked up that needle point mama let me do, one of the very few things I was aloud in this world to entertain myself that weren't illegal it would seem.

"My sister used to do that," I heard and I jumped a little for I hadn't expected to hear no one at all.

It was Robby Marshal out of his armor and in a pair of black pants and a Black t-shirt; he took the liberty to sit on the porch by me and smiled. "I'm sorry we really didn't get a proper introduction earlier, but I'm Robert Marshal, and you are."

"Kassandra Starr," I said.

He took my hand in his and lightly brushed it with his lips as his brown eyes light up somehow.

"It's a beautiful name, it suits you well," he added and I blushed again.

Never in my life had anyone treated me this way before and it confused and embarrassed me in a way I didn't understand, but he still held on to my hand for a moment or so.

"Um, uh, I mean, how old are you," I asked him stupidly out of turn.

"Just turned eighteen last month," he said

"Wow," I said.

"Why, how old are you,"

"About fourteen and a half," I said

"Really," he asked and I nodded.

"The angels themselves must have blessed you you're so pretty," he said

"Oh I should probably check on something, I'm just not too sure what yet," I said and I stood up.

Robby stood also and took my hand again.

"If I'm making you feel uncomfortable I'm sorry," he said

"I," I said but really I had no idea how to explain what it was I was feeling about this. First there was the fact that all my life I had faced the idea that at least one part of me was illegal in some way or another, my beauty seemed a curse, like the great Medusa herself I felt I was and here was this seemingly nice young man doing what pa had always said I would do, reeling him in to his own destruction, maybe if he looks at me he'll turn to stone.

Then there was the idea this boy was a coalition officer and if he paid too much attention to me he was bound to realize something was wrong with me. Then there was the intensity of his eyes when he looked my way, I got to feeling like anything I said he would agree with, if I said water is wet, and he would find it fascinating in a way. Then there was a vow I believed I had taken in a way, after all I never wanted to fall in love, to be a wife or mother, it just wasn't the life I wanted for myself. Yet now this boy looked at me and made my insides feel funny and I wasn't sure if it were in a good way or not.

"I think I need to go," I said and quickly I wondered off, though truly I had nowhere to wonder.

When finally I made my way back to the house mama was working on super and the news that the Marshals were staying a few days. I hear they offered to stay at the tavern but mama wouldn't hear of it, she had Tate and Marty share a room so as Robby and his brother shared the room used to be mine and Lt. Marshal had the one guest room.

As super approached I expected to sit in my room as usual but I was wrong.

"Kassie dear go wash up for super please and help me set the table." Mama asked and I did as told only I didn't expect that I was eating with them and when Robby pulled out my chair like a gentleman I was nervous, even more than I already had been thus far. I hadn't thought it possible.

Over diner I was quiet, the so called adults spoke about the past battles and it actually interested me, I suppose it never accrued to me to ask pa about his past adventures or mama about her pa's.

"You're awfully quiet Kassandra," Lt. Marshal said.

"Just listening sir," I said.

"Fascinated by talk of fighting are you," he asked and I nervously smiled and looked at my plate. "Tom how on earth is such a pretty girl like yours here so damn shy?"

"You know women," pa said and they both laughed.

"Maybe fanny would have been better off a little more put back and a little less social," Lt. Marshal said.

"Now Bob," mama said.

Oh all threw diner I had eyes on me, pa who was afraid I would do or say something awful and Robby who seemed more than a little interested in me. How happy I was when dinner was over and mama and I were alone cleaning it up. Not long after our guests began to retire for the evening and I was able to go to bed and relax a little.

That's when I overheard mama and pa talking in the kitchen.

"Oh come on you had to be blind to not see how that boy puppy eyed her all threw diner," pa went on.

"She's still a child," mama said.

"Damn it Sara don't you see, haven't you learned nothing by their visit," pa said, "what happened to Bob and Lillian can happen to us too, look at that girl, the wrong boy come along and gets her, than we are stuck. Every day we risk someone finding out what she is, I think Robby is a god send for coming here this way and falling for her face. I figure we marry her off and she is no longer our problem. Besides marriage and kids, they settle a person down don't they, that girl has herself a baby and she won't be fussing so about all this foolishness she does now."

"I don't know," mama said.

"Grandchildren Sara," pa said, "we could help them out too, set them up in their own place few miles away, close enough for you to visit. We could, oh hell I don't know, but if we don't do something soon, well hell I see how men look at her, even still, men too old to turn their head to no girl, what happens one of them gets their hands on her and she gets like Fanny?"

"She's only fourteen," mama said

"she sure as hell don't look it," he said, "face it Sara she got the body of a woman, and aint no man in this town aint thought of her as he would think of a woman, I done heard many things in the town, heard Don said the wrong name last week thinking a bit too hard there."

"Except she aint a woman yet," mama said, "she still aint gone through that change, it's sort of vital for making a baby."

I didn't sleep much that night, I just couldn't get it out of my head that they were doing this to me. Oh sure mama argued but by now I knew she would give in to whatever it was pa said, she always did.

When finally I did fall asleep I had a nightmare of being married to a man who eventually acted the same as pa dose now, Robby thought it would be fun and got cybernetics and everything and I couldn't stand it. He grew angry by the day for I couldn't give him a child he wanted, everyone wanted, because, like mama said, I still, for whatever reason, hadn't changed, and even that made me a bit nervous. I ended up giving up on sleep over an hour before dawn and went to sit out on the cold porch to think about all this. Once again the idea of running goes thru my head only I really have nowhere to run to, nothing really of my own to get me along at all.

Oh Kass, I thought, how can you stay here and marry a man or boy, you don't know, a coalition officer none the less, someone else to hide from, to feel on edge forever around, afraid to say or do the wrong thing all the time. It was an impossible thought to have. No matter how I tried to wrap my mind around it I couldn't, it just didn't fit, like putting a round peg in a square hole, I didn't fit and Robby just didn't know it yet.

More than just me, could I really lie, could I dupe this nice boy in to falling for me when there is just so much he really don't know and never will know of me?

The sun began to rise and still I felt no better about this.

I thought of my father, it was a thought I had every now and again, not pa but the real one who traveled here. Just how many times had I wondered what he was like, what he looked like, and where he was. I wondered if he knew about me, just what he would think of this if he knew about it. Could he have really come to our town and left without knowing he was leaving behind a child or had he known?

I thought of Athena too and all the things she said I was to do in my life, the things I would never do if I agreed to this marriage, not that I had a say in it. Ben too, he thought I was meant for something and he were wrong it would seem.

Oh how silly of a girl are you really Kass, I mean believing that some stranger who aint never met you before, aint seen you sense could tell what your future would be, it was foolish.

This time of day was usually mine, so you can imagine my surprise when I heard a voice behind me say good morning.

I looked up and saw Robby and I were real glad I had thought enough to not get out my diary today, no I told myself, not until they leave.

"Sorry if I started you, I mean you looked a little lost in thought," he said and he sat next to me.

"I, um," I stammered.

"You sure are shy aint you," he said, "don't see why, I don't bite, I swear it."

"I guess I just get nervous easily around new people," I said

"Wow, was that ten whole words at one time," he said as he counted them on his hand and I laughed. "Please don't tell my pa I did that, he would ball me out something fierce."

"For counting," I asked

"Yeah, you know how those old timers can be, what with their rules and all," he said.

"Oh yes I do," I said and I wanted with everything in me to ask him if he could read too but I was afraid to.

"I like this part of day most," he said, "the stars still in the sky and all, the sun rise. Have you ever sat here looking and wondering about the world those same stars used to shine on before the world went to shit, before the cataclysm and all?"

"Yes I do," I said," wait you do too?"

"yeah," he said, "a few years back this guy, a traveler, said there were more town, big ones, bigger than even we have now, more streets, actual paved roads, lots of places to shop and eat, every town had a library full of books and kids went to a place called school until they turned eighteen, they learned reading and writing and math and all kinds of other stuff. Said it was safer somehow, more laws to protect people. Sometimes I wish I could wake up and be there, like hit that random rift and oops, you know. He said the smarter a man, or woman, was the more folk respected him, or her I guess."

"Sounds nice," I said and I realized that maybe I had passed judgment on Robby too quickly, maybe he and I had more in common than I thought and it wouldn't be that bad. Then again maybe he was testing me somehow and I was falling for it, maybe I was a foolish girl that over complicated life with too many what if's?

The day seemed to start as normal only Robby insisted on helping me fix breakfast and I learned he was a dreadful cook.

"Ok, stop," I finally said, "you want to be in her fine but don't make no excuses for it, just stand there and if I ask you for something get it for me, ok?"

"Yes ma'am," he said with a wink and I wanted to laugh.

Later Robby and Lt. Marshal went off to finish that well with the three boys and mama and I were left at the hose alone.

"That boy really likes you," mama said and I just looked at her, "Kassie dear love happens to everyone eventually, you may really start to care for him the way I did Thomas."

"But mama I don't want to get married, ever, I don't want that life for me," I said.

"Now Kassie you stop that foolish talk now, here me," she said, "no one said it will happen today, even tomorrow, there is time child. For now though there is a gathering, at the tavern this evening. Pa and I been talking and were going, Robby and his pa too, we are letting you go with Robby, after we girls do as we must and clean ourselves up a bit."

What she meant by cleaning up was showering and putting on a pretty white dress she used to wear when she were a girl, it fit me better than any of the clothes I ever wore and showed off the hour glass figure I had, the way my breasts filled out over the last few years under that eyelet pattern in the bodice. She even had me put on pretty shoe's and helped me pull my hair up some. I looked in the mirror and I felt pretty.

"My goodness Kassandra," mama said with a smile.

She dressed too but not as nice as she had me dressed up, than again mama was a married woman.

Oh how nervous I was as I went down the stairs, I think even pa looked a little longer than he would have normally paid me notice.

I sat alone with Robby, our parents in the different table, though I felt their eyes on us often.

There was some pot luck going, different folk brought to share in the festivities, and Melissa cooked some too, as Robby and I sat and ate.

Some folk played music and Robby asked me to dance with him but I really didn't know how to and felt like a fish trying to walk out in front of people, but I lived.

I saw pa and mama, even Lt. Marshal, drinking and talking with folk and at some point Robby and I got a drink too, some ale, I aint never drank before.

"It's kind of hectic in here, want to go outside and walk and talk some?" Robby said

"Sure," I said, besides I was getting unnerved by the different sets of eyes on me anyhow, that and the thought my looks was evil or something.

Once out there Robby turned to me, we were alone. "You know my pa and your pa been talking," he said

"Yeah I know, my mama too," I said.

"What do you think about it all?" he asked

"I don't know really," I said

"I might just make you happy," he said and I looked down.

"I just feel like I'm too young, I feel like I'm still a child, like I would feel a child trying to be her mama," I admitted.

"I understand that," he said, "but I imagine no one don't got some fears for getting married, I guess we'll just have to get through that won't we."

How did I get anyone to understand I didn't want to be a wife or a mother?

Oh suddenly I wasn't feeling in the mood to be there at all, I just wanted to disappear into my small room and hope I never woke.

Wither or not anyone realized there was something bothering me I don't know, I think most ignored me or my feelings in my family.

Oh I was happy to walk into my room and dress for bed, to lie on my bed and be alone with my thoughts.

I thought of all sorts of horrible things to get out of this I just couldn't do any of them, feeling completely stuck in a life I never wanted and trying with everything in me to be ok with it all.

Maybe I was just tired; after all I hadn't really slept the night before. And I let myself drift off into sleep.

Chapter 5 MR. DESTINY!

Mist begins to fill my mind and I try looking around the room I'm in for it sure isn't mine, as the mist begins to clear I'm confused to see white marble pillars and stair going up to a white building that was more beautiful than anything I had ever seen before in all my life, I'm not inside, I'm in a garden filled with roses, the smell couldn't be mistaken.

I walk up the steps and go to knock on the door but it opens automatically for me, what I don't know, but something pulls me in, like wills me in somehow.

I feel as if I have even been here before, somehow it feels almost like a memory I aint never had, I just can't understand how or when.

If the inside made the out pale in comparison the way the marble felt warm under my feet, the sculptures, the marble steps up to a marble throne. There were fire places on both sides of the room and they both roared with flames warming the room to a very nice temperature.

A man walks out and looks around and then at me almost nervously or like he is holding something back. His smile is warm and I'm truly confused by the comfort I feel in this rather large and burly man's presence.

"Kassandra," he says, "my little Kassie, why look at you, how you have grown, has it really been so long. What a beautiful young lady you have become, I swear makes an old man proud."

How long I have waited to hear words like that I don't know and a tear or two want to fall how I held them back I don't know.

Deep down I know this I just don't know how or why but I know this, I also know it's a dream, yet it feels so real.

"I know," he said as he sits in the steps and sighs, "Kass, that life isn't yours and you know it, hell you don't even want it. There are bigger things in your future, better things,"

I look at this man and how I know I don't know but I know we are connected somehow, I know this is him, the man who traveled thru our town years ago and seduced mama, he was my father, I just wasn't sure how this was possible.

I sat near him, on the steps, but didn't look his way.

"You act as if I have a choice in the matter." I said.

He lifted my chin so I was looking at him. "Your life is your own if you make it," he said, "these are your dreams, not theirs yours, you can't let go of them because someone tells you to, you can't share in the ignorance of man."

"But mama said it was wrong," I cried out of frustration the tears burning forward finally, real tears behind my eyes and I didn't understand why, I mean this was a dream and I could feel the sting of my tears. "She said it was foolish to even think such things."

this man I was assuming to be my father, the one I heard about long ago, reached out and wiped the tears from my face with a big hand I would have expected to be ruff but it wasn't it was soft and warm.

"your more than you are and you know it," he said, "more than most you have ever met before, a great hero lives in your heart, waiting to be let loose, you can't just ignore that voice in your head, the feeling in your gut whenever something evil comes, it's as much a part of you as breathing is, as much a part of you as I am.

"Kassie you're a part of a great legend a legacy if you will, I expect that you will live up to that, I'm holding you to it." He says, he stands and starts pacing the floor, his voice where still kind and full of what I feel is love now takes on more of a demanding tone, almost as if he himself is unsure and forcing the words out. "I won't say it will be easy, there is a lot of work involved in becoming a hero, I mean one doesn't just wake one morning an go 'today I begin adventuring', no they train, for years and years first. You need to learn to fight, to use your strength for all it is worth, and to adjust how much you use. You don't want to kill everyone you just want to slap, do you?"

I shook my head when he looked at me with the question. Honestly I didn't really want to kill anyone. I hadn't really thought of the idea that being a hero involved that much murder.

"Good, because that strength isn't done growing, you'll still get stronger still, you may never actually stop getting stronger.

"It won't be an easy road but the right trainers will make it a road worth traveling I'm sure. If you're going to be the hero I know you will be than I will do whatever in my power I can to help you along if you like."

There was something about this man that I didn't understand, a confidence, more than just an air of superiority, but something else, for this father my mind was conjuring up for myself.

Had I really been that in need of him that I made him up for myself?

"Well Kass, I guess the real question is you," he said stopping and looking my way again, "will you do as you're told, will you obey without question?"

Deep down I think he knew or else he wouldn't have been asking me in the first place.

"Kassandra," he said once more when I didn't answer.

"Yes," I said, "whatever you think I should do I'll do it."

Maybe I just needed to trust in someone, or maybe I just really wanted out of this marriage proposal.

He sat in front of me again and took my hand in his, looking me in the eye, "when you wake you will be fully rested and have about an hour and a half before anyone else wakes up, quickly gather your things, what it is you can't live without, and leave here for good. Go into town and there will be a man names Sir Darius Cartain, he will wait for you but he won't seek you out you hear, so if you don't show he will leave without you and you will be stuck in your fate. Darius will know what to do from there. Listen obey, and learn, and before you know it my dear child you will be the hero you always dreamed of."

I had been looking at this man's face, in his eyes and listening to his orders, as he showed me in the mist, a picture of this Darius I was to meet, I hadn't even realized the scene around me had changed and we were sitting on my small room.

My father rose and looked around the room, the ugly dress hanging on a hook, and he looked angered. He picked up the dress and held it a moment than set it down on the small shelf in the corner.

"One thing is for sure," he said and I heard bitterness in his voice, "Thomas Starr will not lash out at you again."

Why did I get the feeling he knew far more about me and my life than I knew about him, that he really knew what was going on in me.

He looked at me again and smiled. "My beautiful little girl, my daughter, sleeps now, wake soon, pack, and leave this place, and one day we will meet again, I promise you that."

With the blink of an eye he was gone and I was waking up alone in my room.

For a moment I lie there thinking it only a dream, than I see the dress I myself had hung up before bed lying on the shelf he had set it on and I sat up rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and looking around.

"Could it be real," I asked myself out loud? I had to believe in something, if not this than what.

I knew where pa kept his traveling bag, the small one he used when going to the city for one reason or another, and I started filling it with my things, those few dressed I owned, and my books that where once again under the bed, I even rolled up my one small blanket and stuffed it in.

In the kitchen I stood looking around, I was leaving this place, my home, and it felt wrong, not just the who actually follows what someone in a dream tells them to wrong, but leaving without saying good bye felt wrong.

I pulled my journal back out and scratched out a note to mama I knew she couldn't read, I figured Robby probably could though.

Dear mama,

I know all you really want is what is best for me, and I know all pa wants is me gone, guess in a roundabout way we all win, you just don't know it yet. I saw my father and please don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, he is helping me do what I should be anyway, fulfilling my destiny.

Mama please tell Robby I'm sorry and it has nothing to do with him, I just aint the marring kind, don't think that will change. I never wanted the love of a man, only the love of my family and that's a different type of love, something he really can't give me. Remember when I said I wanted to be one of the virgin goddesses?

I'm not real sure where I'm going, how long it will take, or what will happen to me, but at least my future is my own and that I'm happy about. By the time I see you again my name will mean something to many, maybe even me or you.

Love Kassandra.

I had just over six months still before I turned fifteen yet I'm leaving, in some ways I feel I'm still a child, in others I don't think I ever really was one.

Dawn was just approaching when I left the house knowing good and well someone may wake and realize I'm gone, maybe even come looking for me, that I was afraid of, than again I was afraid also that this wasn't real and I would have to come home in a few hours a fool.

No, I told myself, if he isn't there, if it were only a dream, I'll still go, I'll leave and try to make it on my own, lord knows it would be hard but I had to at least try didn't I?

I wondered into town just as the few businesses we had were opening up for the day. I saw Melissa come out and put out her mat, she looked my way and smiled.

"Kassie, is everything alright child, you look scared?" she said

"I'm fine ma'am," I said.

Oh I wasn't real sure what to do or where to go as I stood there, than I saw a man on horseback coming in town and over my way. He stopped and climbed off his horse and took off his helmet a small amusing smile playing on his face.

"come Kassandra," he called to me after I got close he spoke up again, "one thing you will learn rather quickly about travel, eat whenever you get into a town, whenever possible, for in-between towns, when you are camping, you can't always find good game, there aren't always good fishing holes, and after a day or two trail rations are nothing more than bird seed and it gets old."

I follow this Sir Darius in to the tavern and to a table where he sits down, motioning for me to sit too.

Oh I didn't want to waste time eating right now, I was afraid someone would come looking for me.

Still I sit with him as Melissa walks up to us looking concerned for me, I knew her well over these last few years.

"Can I help you sir," she asked him.

"At this point miss, whatever you got going right now will suit me fine, one for me and one for the girl too, and two cups of milk too, thank you." He said

"Yes sir," she said and walked off. Every now and again she looked are way to check on me.

"So how is the food here?" sir Darius asked

"It's ok I guess," I said, "I only really ate in hear twice."

"Ok," he said, "so let me ask you, have you ever been out of Still Water before?"

"No sir,"

"Have you ever heard of a Cyber-Knight before; do you know what one is?"

"Vaguely sir," I said, "I suppose we've been a tad sheltered in these parts, don't get much adventuring type either."

"From everything I heard more than a tad," he said with raised eye brows, "and with the exception of seeking out knowledge for yourself, you more than most."

I had to wonder just how much he knew and who it was that told him about it all.

Melissa brought the two plates of hash and turkey eggs with toast and milk to drink as she sets things down she gives me a strange look.

"Kassie does your pa know where you are?" she asked and I didn't know what to say really.

"Her father is well aware of our meeting this morning miss, nevertheless thank you for looking out for Kassandra's well being," sir Darius said.

"Well alright than," she said and walked off.

He said my father not pa, no hell no pa didn't know where I was or what I was doing or planning or he would have skinned me alive, but that means that dream, my actual father, doesn't it?

He must have seen the look on my face for he looked as if he may laugh and said, "I take it it was your first dream vision,"

"Dream what," I asked.

"Dream vision," he said, "last night you had a dream did you not?"

"Yes, I was told to meet you here," I said.

"Do dreams usually come true around here, in the heart of coalition territory that is?"

"No sir," I said

"It's called a dream vision," he said, "it seems a type of psionic ability, at least once in a cyber-knights life they usually get one, it tells of something to happen, or you tend to speak to someone who isn't here anymore, or you haven't met or even seen in a long time, or we learn something in it."

Now I almost laugh.

"It's hard I know," he said, "it was a dream, and who believes in dreams anymore anyway, than it happens and it's so real you can take it into your hands and hold it, but it's still a dream is it not."

"Yeah," I say.

We finished eating and this Sir Darius pays Melissa for the meal and once again thanks her for it. Than we head out the door, me right behind him, still holding my bag and Melissa sees that and calls for me again. But I don't go back in.

Sir Darius and I are on his horse and down the street before she gets out of the building.

We ride a while together than stop to let the horse rest some, and then Sir Darius insists that I ride while he walks. Just before dusk we stop to make camp.

"What can I do to help," I asked, oh I hate feeling helpless.

"You can gather up some fire wood for us," he says and I set my bag down and start looking for wood as he put some rocks in a circle for the fire. Once the fire was going Darius cooks something I hadn't seen him catch or skin, not real sure what it was really.

"Why don't you go ahead and get some sleep, we have more travel in the morning," Sir Darius said, "You can use my tent there,"

"What about you?" I asked

"Oh I'm used to this," he said, "besides I don't sleep too well on the road."

"Oh, ok," I said uneasily.

"I had a strange dream last night too," he said, "I was told where you were and to go and get you, to train you to be a knight."

"Tonight," he says, "tonight you are still a child, come morning you are a squire, your training begins."

With my blanket I crawl into the tent and I fall asleep.

I wake early and Darius is cooking something else over the fire that is still going, we sit and eat than pick up camp and the fire dies away as Darius kicks dirt over it. Than we climb back on the horse and ride again until just before dusk and do it all over again.

Once again I am told I can't take watch for I can't fight yet and he will be ok, but I feel badly for it.

"Next town we get to I'll sleep, that should be tomorrow anyhow, well also get another horse and make this journey a bit faster." He tells me.

We ride into a town early evening and Darius gets us two rooms and walks me to mine.

"What do you say we meet in one hour for some grub," he tells me.

"Yes sir," I say and he smiles.

"You know you don't have to sir me all the time, you can call me by my name," he says.

"Yes sir," I say, "I mean, yes Darius,"

"Ok than, I need a shower," he says and walks over to the room across from mine and closes the door.

Likewise I go into my room and there is a shower in the bath room, I dig threw my bag and pull out some clean clothes and head for a shower, reeling in how good it feels to stand there as the water pours over my body.

When I walk into the tavern Darius is sitting at a table and as I go to sit he tells me he ordered already and hoped I didn't mind.

"No that's fine," I say.

"Good, wouldn't want to start out on the wrong foot now do we?"

"No Sir," I said and he laughed.

"Habits die hard do they?"

"I guess so," I said.

He had ordered some flame grilled chicken and rice stuff that came with flat bread, it was all rather good, or maybe because I knew what it was, I don't know.

"In the morning before we head out we will pick up a horse from the stable, I already talked to the Inn keeper about it," he said

"Thank you," I said.

"Figure we will get out of Coalition territory faster that way," he said.

"I'm all for that," I said and he gives me a strange look.

"Mama and pa were talking with this boy and his pa, talking marriage and all, I'm not even fifteen and I don't think I ever want to get married, never did."

"Ouch," he said.

"Robby just joined the coalition," I said, "he's an officer and I'm the disobedient child who keeps a journal and likes to read, not to mention dreaming things, it would be bad I know it would and I hate the idea of it."

"I can understand that," he said, "arranged marriages I thought were a thing of the past, as in far past, than again I guess everything comes around again don't it?"

"Maybe," I say.

"We will be leaving in the morning than, be on our way and out of these parts," he said. "for now let's try and get some sleep, I'm sure you already realized by now that in travel sleep don't just come easily."

"Like fishing and game," I said.

"Yes," he said with a laugh.

"Not to mention showers," I said and he laughed.

"Why do I get the impression this will definitely be interesting?" he said and I laughed.

Come morning Sir Darius is in the tavern ready to go as I walk in. I always was early to rise; this man was earlier than even me. We have breakfast and then we head out on the road again.

When we stop to make camp I don't ask I just begin gathering rocks and putting them in formation for a fire, than go gather fire wood for the fire as Sir Darius begins to set up his traps for super. He looks over at me as I get the fire going and smiles and I actually feel I did something good for once.

Darius's trap quickly got us a rabbit and as much as it pains me in a way to know we killed and are planning on eating that little bunny I'm also hungry and he tasted pretty good.

"Artemis would hope we use whatever of the poor creature possible," Darius said and I looked at him, "I believe in the Olympian gods Kassie, I understand which one is for what and so on, and Artemis cares more for wild animals than man, or men, she is also one of the protectors of women,"

"A virgin goddess," I said

"Yes she is," he said.

We sit around the fire eating and talking more about the small town I'm from, not that I knew much more than what was in my home, and I stay clear of talk of my family and the way it really was. I don't know why it is but I'm not comfortable saying that it was an abusive home, that I was truly the unwanted child.

"Well child how about getting some rest for you?" he said

"Darius, I know you're tired, don't tell me your not," I said, "I can handle sitting up a while too, I don't really need a lot of sleep, and I can handle myself some."

"You really think so," he asked and I nodded, "very well, wake me in a couple hours and I'll take over my young charge."

I sat up by the fire and read by the light it gave off for a while, only again pulling out the book Athena gave me a few years back and reading of the gods of Olympus.

Before I knew it Darius was sitting next to me and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "That looks old," he said of the book I was reading.

"A woman gave it to me in town," I said.

"That was nice of her, books are priceless in most parts thanks to the coalition," he said

"I know," I said.

"Well why don't you go get some rest, we got a long day of travel come morning," he said and I closed the book and went to put it away.

"Um, Kassie, May I?"

"Oh sure," I said handing him the book, than I crawled into the tent and went to sleep.

I hear a voice I don't know and it wakes me in confusion for they are talking about me, Darius too.

"Just passing thru to the academy," Darius says.

"We're looking for a girl, the fiancée of a fellow officer been abducted a few days ago from Still Water Missouri, she was last seen with a man in armor." One of them said and I feel my heart begin to race for if they find me not only will Darius be punished for helping me but I'll have to go home again and I'll surely be punished for running and causing so much trouble.

"Sounds terrible," Darius said, "can you describe the girl or the man she was seen with, maybe I've seen them, maybe I'll run into them."

"The girl is a blond," one of the officers says, "a real pretty thing too, big blue eyes that can melt a man, uh um, about five foot six maybe, an athletic fit build and all. The man we aint hear much about, just an older man, big guy I guess."

"well I didn't get that far into Missouri, I'm sorry I haven't seen anyone meets the description, a woman look that pretty a man would have to remember I'm guessing. I don't believe the boy has either, he don't talk, a mute, he don't pay much attention neither, I'm afraid talking to him would be a waste of your time. However I'll sure keep my eye out, the lord only knows what a man would want with a woman look like you're talking, could be terrible for any woman."

"I appreciate that," one of the officers said and I heard them get in there vehicle and ride off as I let out a sigh of relief.

I peeked out of the tent afraid really to come out at all.

"They're gone," Darius said.

"There looking for me," I said but it wasn't as much a statement as a question for I wouldn't have ever expected pa to look for me.

"They are," he said, "come out and eat breakfast and we'll pick up camp and be on our way, I'd like to put as much road between us and these damn states as soon as possible."

I sat and picked at the wild chicken with Darius.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"For what?"

"This is my fault," I said, "you're here trying to help me and now they're looking for me and you and it's because of me."

"Kassandra I was told to come here and help you," he said.

"It just doesn't seem right," I said, "it's not like they want me back or anything."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's for show," I said, "There is no way my pa would report me missing, he wouldn't waist the time looking for me unless someone noticed I was missing and even than I'm sure he would come up with some reason I was gone just to be rid of me."

Darius decides to skip the next few towns so as to not run into any unnecessary members of the coalition, even if it were a bit out of the way and took a little longer than either of us would have liked. During those few days he taught me how to bate traps to catch us some game for eating, he also started showing me some fighting moves and quickly I learned that I was much stronger than I looked as I accidentally knocked the wind out of him.

"I'm sorry," I must have said more than a hundred times and every time he said it was ok.

"Maybe training should wait until we get to the academy and have some help with it," he suggested?

That night I sat feeling once again like the freak pa always said I was, I hated this, I hated feeling so different than everyone else, I hated that I hurt a good man who was just trying to help me, that I had no control over myself.

"Go get some rest Kassie," Darius said as he comes out of the tent later that night, or early that morning really.

"Yes sir," I said.

"Hay what's the matter, you seem down?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," I lied and I went to bed silently crying a little.

Come morning we are cleaning up camp and heading on our way again. The next town is unavoidable I'm told as we draw closer to it. We ride in and straight for the local Inn getting two rooms, only they don't have two next to each other and Darius will be far from me, the other end of the building even.

I go into the room, my privet room, and start pulling clothes out of my bag and getting ready for my shower. I suppose I still feel a little outside myself for hurting Darius the way I did but I try to tell myself that I had to learn to be gentle, even when I was trying to hurt someone I guess.

The warmth of the water feels good and I indulge a little longer than I usually did for it had now been near a week sense I had the luxury of a shower.

I get out and dry myself off and dress and hear a knock on the door and I'm not real sure if I should open it or not.

"Kassie," I head Darius say and I open the door to see him standing there, out of armor, and holding a set of clothes. "Oh good your still here, I thought a change would be in order."

"Oh ok," I said taking the clothes as he came in and shut the door behind him.

"I guessed on size, I hope you don't mind and I didn't mess up too badly," He says.

I went into the bath room and dressed in the black pants and black t-shirt, than I pulled my hair up into a pony tail and put on the cap, pulling my hair through the hole.

He did well; everything fit me in a way I hadn't ever worn clothes to do, hugging my body, showing off curves.

When I came out Darius smiled. "You certainly don't look the same girl I picked up, at least not completely."

"Thank you sir," I said looking down.

"Well how about we get some food in us while we can," he suggested, maybe he realized I was just that insecure, maybe he just wasn't going to ask.

I followed Darius to the tavern next to the Inn and sat in a corner table out of sight of others and let him order for me, I actually liked trying new things.

"now Kassie," he quietly said, "you are considered a squire, though your real strong you still don't have proper training just yet, that being said if at any time trouble comes up you don't do anything, hear me, let me handle it."

"Yes sir," I said.

Before our food even arrived a group of coalition grunts come in and sit down in a table close enough to be heard, they were talking about a news wire they got on current events and both Darius and I listened for my name while our meal of turkey and chips made of potatoes arrived.

I think I caught myself staring more than once.

"Kassie, this way," he said to me and I looked back at my plate.

"I think it may be on our best interest to be on our way as soon as possible, as soon as were done eating here," he said.

"I agree in full," I say.

Darius goes and pays for our meal than returns to the table.

"Shall we," he says and I stand as Darius lets me pass him and he follows me out, one hand on my back.

Before we got near the door another man in armor came in looking around and Darius seems uneasy which only makes me feel more nervous.

The other man's armor looks close to Darius's only its obviously been threw a few battles, the wings that should be on the helmet are broken off, there are a few small dents, some look like they were bad and reshaped even, and there are strange runes drawn on the arms and body.

To me this man looked like the pictures I had once seen of the knights of old, from pre-historic times.

"Let's get going," Darius says and he ushers me along quicker.

The other man sees Darius and smiles his way than looks confused as to why Darius doesn't seem as happy to see him, than he looks passed us and quickly turns and walks out the door and we follow behind him.

"What was that about in there," the man asks Darius who shrugs.

"Nothing, just trying to get a new quire to the academy for some training is all," Darius says. "Maybe I should ask just what you are doing here Alex?"

"I was asked to come," Alex said, "some people seem to think you may need help."

"Some people may be right," Darius says, "oh sorry Kassie, this is Sir Alexander Pondanerius, a fellow Knight, Alex, Kassandra Starr,"

"Hi," I say.

"Ma'am," he says,

"Alex please escort Kassie to her room to gather her things and I'll meet you two at the stable, I want to get out of this damn town and these damn states," Darius said.

"Kassie, five minutes," Darius tells me.

"Yes sir," I said.

"Whatever you say," Alex says and Darius walks off toward where his room was and Alex looks at me. "After you ma'am,"

I lead the way over to the Inn and up to my room where Alex stands outside the door.

"You can come in, I'll only be a moment," I said and he looked uneasy about it, but he steps inside the room and shuts the door.

Gathering my things isn't that difficult really, I hadn't exactly unpacked, however I did read for a few moments.

I threw everything back in my bag and Alex offered to carry it for me but I told him I was fine and he smiled.

What was it exactly that was happening to me, first Robby now this Alex, why was I feeling so self-conscious around them, more so than Darius? I thought as we walked out to the horses but couldn't find an answer to the riddle that was me.

In the stable Darius is already securing his ride, now once again in full armor, like that Alex guy, and I can't help but think it looks scary and intimidating as I begin securing my horse also.

"We'll ride as far as we can tonight before stopping and making camp, if we stop tonight," Darius says.

"Yes sir," I say

"Quick as we can I want free of here," he says again.

"Yes sir," I say.

Darius smiles, "that's my girl."

Darius and I are on horseback and Sir Alex has his hover cycle, a rather beet up looking hover cycle that is.

Ride through that night we do not stopping until nearly dawn to stretch our legs and let the horses rest.

"How are you holding up Kassie," Darius asked me when we stopped.

"Fine sir," I say, "I'm resilient, I can handle it."

"Alex," he asked

"Fine," Alex said, "but what is going on?"

"Just not trying to get arrested or killed or have to kill someone is all," Darius says.

"I don't understand," Alex says.

"There looking for me," I say, maybe a little out of tern.

"Why," he asked

"My pa I guess," I said, "I guess he reported me missing, I assume cause we had company when I left, they realized I was gone and pa had to pretend to care."

"I still don't understand," he said.

"I'm different," I say, "and he wasn't my pa really, that man has hated me sense he were told I was someone else's daughter."

"Oh ok," Alex said.

We start riding again; just not quite as fast as we were, talking to keep each other awake really.

"Tell me Kassandra," Sir Darius asks me, "have you ever gotten into a physical confrontation before?"

I looked away from them, "yes sir," I say rather quietly.

"Ok, what happened?"

"I saw this man walk out of the wood, he was going toward the little girls lived next door. I felt something before I saw him, I know mama says I shouldn't say that, that it aint right and all but I did." I looked over at Darius, "what was I supposed to really do, let him take the girls for who knows what; they were just little girls, around seven or eight maybe?"

I looked at my horse more than anything else, "I told the boys to get pa and I tried to get the girls away from that man, but he grabbed one of them and the other was too scared to move away. I ended up hitting him and he dropped Emily and grabbed me, yelling about my taking his lunch away from him. Who eats children anyhow? I don't know exactly, I got free, I threw him into a tree, and then pa was there and shot him."

"How did that go over at home," Darius asked?

"I don't want to talk about it," I said feeling hot tears burning my eyes once more, no Kass, you're not crying over that man or his brutality, no more.

I think I rode a little quicker and they did what they had to to keep up.

"Coalition don't take differences well do they," Darius says, "most folk scare easily of things they either don't understand or don't want to believe in."

"Yeah, whatever," I said, trying to hide the emotion in my voice and not doing it well, "they can have their ignorance, there ways, I want nothing to do with it, never did."

We only rode for a little while longer before Darius says we need to make camp and get some rest.

"That or I'll fall asleep here on this horse, or Alex will while driving." Darius says.

"At least if you fall asleep your horse can think for itself," Alex joked or teased, I'm not sure which; I don't know him that well yet.

We all go about making camp, building a fire, setting up tents, setting traps, sitting and eating something, than taking turns taking watch only Darius won't let me.

"no Kass, if one of those officers come up while you're on watch we can't lie to the fool we aint got you, but if you are in a tent sleeping than we can," he said and I sighed and crawled in the tent and fell asleep.

I wake to the smell of fish and I come out of the tent to find Sir Alex sitting by the fire and I join him. Darius still sleeps, out under the stars, on his bed role; for he still insisted that a lady needed the tent and privacy more.

Alex sits fixing something for breakfast, fish.

"Good morning," he says when I come out and start to stretch my body some and sit by the fire.

"Morning," I say.

"I found a small stream over the other side of that hill there, trees too; we really should have made camp there and let the horses enjoy the stream." He says, "So we have some coffee here, and a few fish to eat; now we just need Sir Sleepyhead to wake so we can clean up camp and be on our way, by tomorrow we will be out of Coalition influence."

"Where are we going?"

"A long way, and as soon as were done fearing some solders we'll start talking training and all." Darius says as he gets up and joins us by the fire. "Sir Sleepyhead," Darius says with a snicker and even Alex cracks a smile.

Oh the coffee aint half as bad as that rot gut junk pa drank, the fish aint bad neither, than we pick up camp and begin to ride again, going west it would seem.

It goes much the same the next night only Alex scouts out a nicer place for camp, more secluded by trees and flowering bushes that have some kind of berries Alex said are ok to eat. Raspberries, I aint in all my life ate a raspberry before and though tart they were good.

There was even a small pond not far from us and after being on the dirty road for so many days without a shower it felt good to go wash up. I'm not the only one who does either.

Breakfast brings us roasted whatever it was Darius caught in that trap, I didn't look, and more raspberries.

"So Kassie, how was your first night out of the Coalition states," Darius asked me?

"Were out," I asked?

"Couple hours before we made camp last night," he says, "that doesn't mean you'll never run into any stray officers, they seem to think they own the world."

"I can understand why," I said, and both men looked my way with confusion, "as children you see nothing but, hear and learn nothing but coalition, can't read, don't write, no maps or other means of seeing the world but the here and now. I know I didn't realize there was a different place or of being before Ben told me."

"Ok, I can see it that way I guess," Darius said.

"All I meant was they know no better than what they are taught," I said.

"ok," Darius said, "I think it's hard for one not brought up in that world to really understand it, than again its probably just as hard for one brought up in that world to see anything but."

"So do you read or write," Alex asked me.

"enough yes, I understand some math too," I say, "Ben taught me some, other nice adventuring type too, whoever would teach me whatever I was willing to learn, I just couldn't help it."

"Must have gone over well," Darius said.

Talking about Ben, thinking about him, at what I cost him, I just looked away, "yeah," was all I said.

"Who's Ben," Alex asked?

"a psi-stalker who traveled through a few years back," I said as tears filled my eyes, no way you couldn't hear I was upset, "he told me about the world and told me that one day he would see me again, I guess he broke that promise."

"Why," Alex asked.

"He's dead," I said, "the coalition tried him for, it don't matter really, he was executed for nothing more than talking to me, being nice to me."

"Kassie," Darius said but I shrugged away and the conversation was dropped as Darius must have realized I must have had reason to not want to disuse it for some reason or another. Maybe he was realizing I had more than my share of skeletons in my closet, maybe he just thought it had to do with the coalition, I don't know really?

Two more days travel and we make it to the first real town I ever seen, its bigger than anything I ever seen or known and I'm told it's a small town still, I got to wonder, if this is small what is big?

We head first to the Inn and get room where we go our separate ways to clean up. Oh how good a shower feels, I don't think I'll ever get over the feeling of a hot shower after being on the road so long? After I felt human again I took the time to wash out my other clothes and let them dry for I hated the ugly dress I now have to wear.

I head out and find myself wondering the town a little looking in shops at all the pretty clothes, the different things, the pretty smelling soaps and even some make up and I wish I had some credit of my own to buy things for myself.

I catch myself glance in a mirror and see just how old and ugly the dress I wear really is and I feel more self-conscious. I even find myself thinking of what I must look like to Alex and scold myself for thinking such things at all. That life aint for me, no I'm not going to ever belong to no one but me, I'm not letting myself fall in love and I'm never going to be with a man in that way.

Come now Kass, I tell myself, in time you will be your own girl, but right now you have sworn a vow to obey and to train to be a hero, right now the clothes I wear, though I hate them, don't matter much.

"There you are," Darius says.

"Sorry," I say as I realize I had just wondered off without a word really and they didn't know where I was.

Sir Darius smiles, "it's ok Kassie, but how about some food, you must be starving, I know Alex and I am."

"Sure," I said and I followed Darius to the local tavern, a place called 'a bucket of rust,' ok if that's what they want to call it, so be it.

Alex already sits and a woman with four arms is flirting with him incessantly, that is until Darius and I walk up and take our seats, than she looks at me and her attitude completely changes.

Alex and Darius order us some diner and themselves something to drink, I'm too young.

There are so many different people in the tavern, different races I aint never seen before and I'm afraid I stare a bit too much.

"Don't strain your neck Kass," Sir Alex says.

"Sorry," I say.

"don't be sorry," Sir Darius says, "it's only natural to be curious, its human, but a knight must learn at control themselves, to respect, and show respect, to all unless given reason not to, they must also respect themselves."

"Yes sir," I say

"Being a knight is about more than just heroics, marching off into battle agent's evil, engaging in death stopping destruction. It's about ones word of honor, respect, loyalty, courage." Darius says

"Don't forget Valor, nobility, freedom, justice," Sir Alex adds in mockingly smiling my way I was already realizing he had a teasing nature.

"It's not about preaching what is right or wrong but showing a greater way by deed, we don't lead threw orders, we live and hope that somehow the world becomes a greater place." Darius says, "that's where people like the Coalition go wrong, they force there ways threw fear and ignorance, and eventually people as a whole begin to tire of such things, they either leave, brake, or what some of us are partly waiting for, they rebel."

"You think they will," I asked

"It's a boiling pot Kassie," Darius says, "right now they are all brain washed into their ways, slowly brain washed over time that knowledge is a bad thing, book, reading, being able to keep track of your own finances or live stoke due to a lack of math skills, they are slowly pushing their species backward."

"I think what my fellow knight is saying is when any people are repressed for so long they eventually get tired of it and begin to stand up for themselves and the things they want or need," Alex said

"I can understand that," I said thinking back to the few times I spoke back to pa, like when that man went after those girls.

For a while the two knights I'm now traveling with speak on the fastest route to the academy, not that either of them actually says where it is, not even in what state it is and I'm beginning to wonder as to why.

"It'll be getting colder the farther north west we go," Darius says, "fewer towns in-between, we'll need some extra gear."

"Another tent, Kass can't go around without warmer clothes on," Alex said, it seems in the last week I knew him he rarely called me by my full name only Kass for some reason, and for some reason I liked it.

They go about the town and I follow behind as things are bought, a tent, another bed role, another pair of pants and a couple t-shirts, even a coat, for it was fall and a bitter cold had been evading the nights. Than we go into another shop, a weaponry shop, and Darius and Alex look over small guns and buy one, some techno wizard thing that they say I should learn how to use. After they said we had everything we would need we headed back to the Inn for some sleep.

"Yes, up early and on the road again," Alex teased my way with wide eyes and I laugh feeling my cheeks redden some and I don't know why.

For the next few days we travel and make camp, Alex begins to show me how to fight and I'm really afraid I'll hurt him, I just don't know how to say it, and so Darius did.

"She hurt you," Alex teased Darius.

"She handles herself well," Darius says, "and she packs a mighty punch my friend."

"Maybe I should go for tats than," Alex says, "believe me Kass you can't hurt me that easily, just give me your best shot."

"Now Alex that isn't a good idea," Darius says and I refuse to try and hit Alex.

After more understanding, by Darius having me show off a bit, he asked me to see how much I can life, I first picked up one of the horses, than I pulled up a tree, a small tree, though if I tried I may have been able to do more, I sparred with Alex and with Darius as they began to show me some moves.

At first I was getting hit, knocked on my back side too often, than I began paying more attention to the body language and actually knocked Darius down.

"She's a quick learner," Alex says.

"That she is," Darius says, "it will be interesting to see how this pans out will it not?"

"That you are right about," Alex says.

Finally we came across the next town after nearly four days on the road and got us some rooms. After my shower and some clean clothes, leaving my other clothes to dry over night, I headed down to the tavern to find Alex sitting at a table out of armor, and in jeans and a tight black t-shirt that showed off a rather impressive physic, for a moment I stood there and looked at him, though he didn't know it. Sir Darius was also out of armor, but he stood by the bar asking the keep something. It had been over a month now that I had traveled with Darius and it seemed a rarity to see him out of armor.

I begin making my way across the bar to where Alex sits and feel eyes on me and look to see different men looking my way with an interest I didn't understand or really like. It put a kind of knot in my stomach and I looked down trying to not pay attention. Some man even whistled my way gaining both Alex and Darius's attention too.

Darius started my way and Alex stood up waiting for Darius and I to join him, it put me more at ease to see that they were there for me and understood whatever it was I didn't.

"I know it's strange to you," Darius says in that same fatherly way he spoke to me, "but Kassandra you have to understand that they are just men, and you're a very pretty girl, more so than anyone they have ever seen or ever will I'm willing to bet. They will look, they may even say something to get your attention, and there will be an interest, but in no means does that mean a disrespect on you."

"As a knight however you have to look the other way unless it gets out of hand and you are given a reason to need a defense," Alex adds

I just sit there and nod in agreement, really I don't know what to say or to think, and I hated it, I hated the way I looked more than anything in a way, it was a curse to me, once again I was the Medusa herself and I hated it.

No I wasn't used to it, back home I dressed so that no one would look at me, I was kept home most more, not seen if possible, those who knew me didn't pay no attention to me because of pa, though apparently he heard things, and yes at the town gathering some of the men in town looked my way, but I wasn't used to it in anyway, pa made sure I knew my looks were a bad thing.

We sat and ate as Alex and Darius talked and laughed and others in the Tavern left, but there was a man, the one who whistled my way before, he still stayed there at his table drinking and staring my way, every now and then I saw him and looked down.

He was a big man, with large shoulders, bigger than most men I ever saw before, with all sorts of tattoos, not like Alex who wore runes, but dark looking things like a skull dripping in blood.

"Are you alright," Alex asked me?

"Yeah, just tired," I lied and I think he knew it.

As my two companions and teacher begin to leave I am right there in the middle of the two men. Something about that man just made me think bad things I couldn't understand.

I don't sleep well, nightmares plague my dreams, horrible things like punching my fist threw a boy not much older than I and I don't understand it for I can't see the boy. Than another with the man in the bar staring at me and I'm naked, I just can't move and I don't understand why.

I end up sitting up by the window awake and not knowing what to do with myself, but fearing leaving the room alone.

Come morning Darius knocks on the door of my room to collect me, somehow he knows I won't come out alone, and we go down to the tavern for our last meal in town before heading out again and no more is mentioned about the man the night before.

Chapter 6 HERO IN TRAINING!

We have now been traveling thru Colorado for a week nearly and haven't made a town in three days. Though it is fall and we expected it to be cold it had warmed up considerably in the last few days, a warm front that promises to soon brake and bring terribly cold winter weather.

We stopped and begun making camp about an hour ago and I got a rare chance to sit here and write in my diary, Darius already set out his traps and I helped him, and Alex and I built the fire and we have plenty of fire wood to get us thru the next few hours at least.

"You know Kass," Alex says looking my way, "just on the other side of those trees there is a pond, too many bushes to make camp there, but its rather secluded."

"She does hate to be dirty," Darius teases, "I swear the worst punishment would be to take away her ability to shower or bathe."

"Funny," I say, "so just over by those trees huh,"

"Yep," Alex says, "and it's been such a warm day too, still is warm, might feel nice."

I gathered some clean clothes and head over there alone. Yes I see what Alex meant, it is a small spot, camp wouldn't have worked well for there wasn't the room for tents or horses, but the pond looked rather deep, like it dropped down quickly. The bushes around the water were big, shaped almost like a heart around the pond making a rather pretty seen. I sit on a broken tree trunk and take off my shoes looking at the water and thinking of just how cold the water must be. Oh how I dreaded the thought of how cold the water must be, yet I dreaded the idea of the filth being on my body that much more.

Sitting there I pulled my hair out of the braid I kept it in when traveling to keep it from getting too knotted up or dusty, running my fingers through the mess of my hair and enjoying the simple peace and quiet of being alone for once, yet feeling the security that both Alex and Darius weren't that far away really if I really needed them.

I slipped out of my pants and peeled off my shirt and set them down, making a mental note to wash them out when I was done so I would have a clean set of clothes next stop we made. Then I dipped my foot in the water.

Oh it was colder than I thought it would have been.

Come on Kass, I thought, just hold your nose and jump, it can't stay that cold for too long can it, I tell myself and somehow it works, somehow the shock of the bitter cold died and the water feels nice and cool after a warm day.

I'm not sure how long I was in the water for I lost track of time, lost track of my own thought, than I hear a whistle.

Standing over by the tree trunk, where my clothes are, is a gruffly looking man with partial armor, his face covered with whiskers, he seemed to have light colored hair that were slicked back with mud.

He stares my way licking his lips and made a pathetic attempt at a smile showing discolored teeth, like they had been soaking in some of pa's coffee. To me something about him was different, odd even.

"Well aint you a site for sore eyes," he says, "an oasis in the middle of the desert?

I shook my head, "go away or I'll scream and my party will come looking for me, two men, big men."

Oh please leave, I thought, or hopped, the last thing I wanted to do was call Darius and Alex to my rescue, yes I was scared right now, but I was also embarrassed and calling them over wouldn't have helped nothing.

In the water I stayed knowing very well I was covered by the water and if he came in the water to get me I could get out the other side easily. Right now all that he could do was stare at me and freak me out, unless I got out of the water, right, unless he could see through the water and could anyone do that really. My arms I crossed over my bosom protectively covering myself the best I could just in case or just to make myself feel better.

He didn't leave in fact he picked up my clothes.

"You will eventually need these wont you," he said?

"Put those down and go away, please," I practically begged, my voice getting panicky and screechy.

"Kassie, are you ok," I heard Darius yell but I didn't answer, really I didn't want to, I wanted them to come and make him leave, yet I didn't want them to have to come and make him leave. I mean no I wasn't ok, but at the same time I wasn't not ok, unless you were thinking about my feelings.

When I didn't answer I guess both men come looking to see what was wrong.

"What's say you come get them from me, earn them back," the man said.

"You're a sick old man," I said.

"Kass," I heard Alex say, "If you're not descent, than I'm, or we're sorry."

I don't know exactly what they thought when they came thru the bushes and saw me in the water trying to keep myself as covered as I could, and this strange man hovering about me the way he was.

Darius spoke up first, "you don't want this fight, she aint even old enough for men to be fighting over her."

"Oh she looks plenty old enough to me, she looks real good to me," the man said looking my way and Alex seemed to wince.

"Your best bet is to leave before you get hurt," Alex said and the man looked at him and at Darius.

"That armor looks familiar," the man said.

"the girl is a squire of the Cyber-knight and she can handle herself," Darius says, "right now you have her at a disadvantage but believe me my friend Alex and I aren't your worst problem, that girl is, your choice is to leave or we will subdue you long enough for her to get descent and then she is your problem and I'll damn sure stand aside and let her deal with you."

The man snickered and dropped my clothes and left us and relief hit me.

"Kassie are you alright," Darius asked and I looked at both him and Alex, I was still rather embarrassed at the whole situation and let myself sink under the water, head and all for a moment to regain myself a little. No they couldn't see me, but that didn't matter, I still felt as if I were exposed somehow because I were naked.

While I threw my fit they patently waited.

"Would you like us to stand guard while you get out Miss," Alex teasingly asked me, "seriously though we we'll turn around and give you privacy."

Shyly I nodded.

They turned around and waited while I got out rung my hair out some and pulled my clothes on and they didn't turn around until I said I was ready for them to, than we headed back to the camp and sat around the fire and picked through the supper that Darius had started cooking,

"Are you alright," Darius asked me and I nodded without looking at either of them.

"Good," he said even though both he and Alex knew I wasn't, but I think the just didn't want to push me, truly I'm not that strong, I know I'm not that strong.

It begins to get dark and Alex lies back on his bed roll looking up at the stars.

"The sky is so peaceful at night," he says.

"Yeah," I say rather quietly, "all the stars, the different planets, other worlds of people, I think in the end that is peace, the hope for it at least, the idea that for every world there is another world, better maybe, worse maybe."

Alex looks over at me, "I thought the coalition frowned upon knowledge."

"They do," I said, "Ben taught me, I was still just a kid when he came through, the eclipse was happening and he told me about it, and about the other worlds with people, some even like me."

"He was right about that," Darius said.

"Athena said I would see other worlds one day, that I had the heart of a hero and I would make my mark on many worlds," I said

"Athena," Sir Alex asked with a funny look on his face.

"Yes," I said, "she was traveling thru town and she knew me, my name, somehow, she said someone told it to her, some heroic man, and she gave me an old book."

"But she said her name was Athena," Alex asked.

"That's what she said," I say.

"You know I was thinking of getting some sleep," Darius interrupted, "I think we all need some sleep though, and given the circumstances earlier it's not a good idea for Kassie to take watch alone, she may as well get some rest for now while she can."

"Yeah that sounds like a good idea," Alex said.

Come morning Alex and I are once again alone eating while Sir Darius went over to the pond to wash up some before getting on the road.

Travel becomes uneventful, there was some worm thing that attacked one night but the two knights killed it rather quickly, than just outside a town we get attacked by some bug thing and it gets a little too close for comfort to me and I punched it, into it actually, killing it.

"Ewe," I said and Darius and Alex laughed.

"I think the young lady in training needs a shower," Darius teased and Alex laughed harder.

"I'm glad I can entertain you," I said.

"Oh it's ok Kass;" Alex said when he regained himself some, "the insides of most creatures are pretty ugly it's just your predictable is all."

Finally after traveling near two months we see some thick trees that seem to make a rather large forest, we take the small path through. It would seem as if the trees get smaller, or not as thick, the more inward than a small wood and stone structure comes into view, just in the middle of the trees, and small garden is seen to one side, I see pretty flowers all over the place and I aint never in my life seen anything as beautiful as this small home and its surroundings. It looked perfect, like an old European castle, only big enough for a small family maybe. A small pebble path leads the way passed a lush green grass, the mini trees and a babbling brook.

As we approach an oriental looking man in white pants and what looks like white robes comes out and smiles at the two men I'm with.

"Darius it is good to see you have made it," the man said, "likewise Alexander, I do hope the travel wasn't too unpleasant."

"No," Darius says, "it wasn't without its interestingness, but nothing too unpleasant, thank you."

"Good," the man said.

I followed what Darius and Alex had done and got off the horse and pulled my bag off too.

"Kassandra," Alex says, "this is Sir Jonathan Kinoican, he is another trainer and knight, though he mostly stays here anymore."

"Welcome Miss," he says, "and please just call me John, miss,"

"Yes sir," I say and Darius laughed.

"Well I'm sure Kassie would love to start her training and all but it's been a long journey, I think maybe some settling in for now, maybe some diner, and rest, we will start training in the morning." Sir Darius says.

I follow him in the small house expecting only a few small rooms, what I see instead confess me for it is for from just a few small room, it is rather large in fact.

The floors are wood there is a large common room, were we are standing, and a few hall ways that seem to be long.

Darius leads me down one of the hall ways and to a door and opens it letting me go in first. It's a pretty room, with a nice sized bed made of natural wood, with a shear white canopy, a dresser and two end tables that matched the bed, there are a few pictures on the wall of flowers and an olive tree, than there is a door going to a privet bath room with a big shower, a bath tub big enough to soak your whole self in, a sink, and a basket with soaps and such in it.

"Wow," I hear myself say.

"Your room Miss Kassandra," Darius says, "I shall leave you now to do as you will, please enjoy, there are robes in the dresser for you to wear and I shall come to collect you in a little over an hour to show you around."

"Yes sir," I say, "and thank you,"

"Save that for tomorrow when training begins," he said.

He shuts the door behind him as he leaves and I open the dresser drawers to find soft robes and set them on the sink, then I started the water and peeled off my clothes. The water felt good, so did the pear scented soaps and I really began to feel spoiled in a way. After the shower I wrapped a soft towel around my body and combed out my hair and towel dried it some before dressing in the robes and braiding my hair, with a large mirror to see myself in. Then I went out to the room and let myself lie back on the soft bed with its fluffy pillows and linens for a moment or so and relax some.

Oh Kass, I thought to myself, never in all your life have you ever thought you would be in a place like this, it was worlds away from everything I had ever known. Oh I could get used to this, I could truly be happy in a place like this.

A gentle knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts and I sit up.

"come in," I say and Darius, now out of armor and cleaned up also, stands, in robes much the same as Sir John wears and I now wear.

He looks at me and smiles warmly.

"What," I ask thinking I've done something silly?

"Nothing my dear," he says, "you just look very lovely."

"Oh," I said looking down and I realized something, though many of times pa said it to mama, or complained about it like it were something bad, the last time he ever complimented me I was a very small child, I wasn't use to it at all, like I was a curse, like I have said before, the Medusa herself.

Darius leads the way back down the long hallway and to another one pointing out the training room, or Do Jo, and a few other places as we walk.

"It's a large estate I know," Darius says.

"But how does so much fit, I mean from the outside it seems so small," I say.

"Sounds like a young lady I know does it not," he says with raised eye brows and I feel myself blush some. "It's so individuals who we don't want to find us can't or at least have a hard time with it. Who would think by looking at the building that it could house so many Knight's at any time, teaching squires the ways of the knight, it's why the trees appear to be so thick, like it's just a forest, nothing could be in side it, and using a devise to see one can't just spy on us. We wouldn't want some creature watching and picking off our young ones would we? One thing you have to face my dear is that not everyone likes us knights, especially those who would want to do bad or evil and know we are the ones to stop them."

"Yes, ok," I said, "but how is it possible?"

"Magic mostly," he says, "or a kind of magic, I guess one could say Lord Coake made some good friends along his way. If you can't already feel it one day soon you will, I can't see why not."

We pass a large dining room and a smaller dining room before getting to the end of the hall way and the kitchen.

"John has already begun cooking, by the way John loves cooking, though truly I think we all like it once in a while." Darius says, "Now if we had gone down the other hall way, to the right of the squires quarters, you would find the knights quarters, were I sleep, Alex, John, whoever else happens to be here, it changes on a day by day basis, some days there are only three or four knights and others up to twenty or even more.

The closer we get to the kitchen I smell something so good yet like nothing I have ever smelled before.

Both Sir John and Sir Alex, who has also cleaned up and is in pants and a light grey t-shirt, stands there talking as Sir John cooks. The moment we walk in they stop talking and look our way.

"Miss Kassandra," Sir John says and Alex smiles.

"Feel better now Kass," Alex teases and I know he is talking about the shower and clean clothes.

"Yes actually," I say.

Sir John had made some Cajun style stew called gumbo, it was something I aint never had or heard of before but it tasted rather good, spicy but good.

After we eat Darius walks me back to my room for some rest.

"Now Kassie," he says at the door, "I don't want you practicing or sparing with any of the squires alone here me, you're much stronger than they are, you won't be training with them, but mostly with John or me."

"What about Alex," I asked

"well I'm not real sure if he's staying or not and if he is for how long," Darius says, "that boy has a restless spirit, he don't stay in one place too long, but he comes back every now and again alright."

"Oh," I said

"Training begins early so get some rest," he tells me, "there is a lady here also, or usually she is here, she should be back in a day or so, Lady DeWhite, you'll train with her too.

"Yes sir." I say.

"Good night Kassie and I'll see you in the morning," he says.

"good night sir," I say and he leaves me in my room to crawl in the soft and warm bed and sleep the most comfortable sleep I have had in I think all my life.

Chapter 7

Morning comes and the training begins as I stand in the training room with three other squires, two other human looking boys, both with the same brown hair and eyes, their features so exact, even they moves the alike, than there is another boy who looks younger than me, I'm not real sure what race he is but he has bluish skin scaly skin, his name is Sam and the twins are Tim and Jim.

"Being a Cyber-Knight is more than just fighting," Sir John explains to us as he stands before the class. "it's about living by a set of ethics, its being pure of heart, its caring about life no matter where they come from or why. Fighting is the last resort when a conflict arises and all other means have failed, than you fight and your fight is deadly and accurate, which is why when most realize that you're a knight they back down.

"When challenged to fight a man, or woman," he says looking my way with a small smile, "someone who doesn't seem to have the abilities you do, you don't really want to hurt him, you don't go summoning a Psi-Sword, that is your last resort for one who is a threat to you and others, not a farmer or bar keep, not the mere drunk in the bar who is starting something, but for an armed individual."

He takes days going over what it is to be a knight and the things we must learn to avoid, he tells and shows us how to stand, make a fist, to punch, to kick, to fall down without hurting ourselves.

Every morning we wake and go to breakfast to eat, than we train for three hours, go to lunch, and have some free time for ourselves, than we train for another few hours before diner and then it's time for bed.

Lady DeWhite shows up after my second week with two more boys and another girl who I'm told have now been here for a few years already. Frank is the oldest of the boys with dark skin and eyes, than there is Weston with his perfectly toned skin and blond hair, than there is Tiffany, who was also a blond, but not the golden blond like me, but almost completely white blond hair and crystal clear eyes to go with her pale skin.

Lady DeWhite was an oriental looking woman who appears in her forties maybe but may have been younger.

Her first class with us was about feeling things.

"You'll know evil when you feel it," she said

"Like a big knot in your stomach," I said more to myself than anyone else.

"Yes it can feel that way; to some it feels almost nauseating even, or like nerves." She says looking my way, "so tell me, when was the first time you felt it?"

"A little over a year ago maybe, I don't know exactly," I said and she was still looking at me as if she were interested in the story so I continued. "The neighbor girls were outside playing, they were like eight or something, than there was this guy come out of the forest, he looked strange, and he was going toward the girls."

"How did you handle it," she asked.

I just looked away; I didn't want to talk about it really.

"Kassandra," she said.

"the girls are ok," I said, maybe with a little more attitude than I meant but it was a sore subject for me, I took a deep breath and let it out before continuing, "they were scared yes, but they are still in one piece, and he is dead which is better than him taking the girls and eating them like he said he was going to do.

"Alright," she said, "magic can feel like a surge of power, electricity flowing through your veins, like you're on a high of sorts. Psionic's can feel similar but you'll get used to the difference in them."

"When do we learn the sword," Jimmy asked, and his brother seems interested in it too?

"Not just yet," she said, "first we will play with practice swords; you will learn control, obedience, and then psionic's will begin to come to you when you're ready for it. Your mind and body will become one in a way and then you teach the sword to yourself, or whatever you chose to be."

"What do you mean," Frank asked?

"Not all knights chose a sword," Lady DeWhite said, "It's a good question by the way, not all squires ask until they notice another knight welding a psi-hammer or mace." She looks at Weston when she says it after he rolled his eyes at the question.

"You can choose what size your sword is, the shape, whether it is a two handed battle sword or a short sword, or a hammer like I said earlier, even what color the energy is. There are others that can summon a psi-sword too, but we are the only ones who have the control over the ability to choose the size, shape, or color of its energy."

"There are also psi-shields, and an experienced knight can also choose to summon two swords and get into two handed fighting." Darius says and we look over to see him nonchalantly leaning on the door frame listening to the class.

The class let out and everyone went outside but Darius stopped me.

"Hay Kassie come here a moment." He said

"yes sir," I said and he gestures for me to follow him down the hall way that the knights quarters are on and for a moment I'm confused for I know we aren't really allowed down that hall way unless otherwise specified by a knight for a reason.

Down the hall, just passed the first few rooms he stops and opens a door.

"After you miss," Darius says and I look at him in confusion, but I promised, I vowed obedience and I meant it, so I went in the room, Darius behind me, and I see it, a wonder far beyond anything I have ever in all my life seen, maybe ever will, books, shelves and shelves full of them, a small brown leather couch and chair with a small dark maple coffee table in front of it, very rustic the feel of this male dominate room.

I walk around in awe for a moment looking around at all the books, afraid to touch anything really.

"this would be the closest thing to a library that is left standing in this side of the world," he said, "I know you enjoy reading, so I thought you would enjoy this, I highly doubt Lord Coake would mind a student broadening her mind in his privet study."

I looked at him still in shock, I thought the Coalition had destroyed all the books long ago and seeing this was a miraculous event. "You're, I mean, I can read, I mean yes I can read, I know how to read and all, but I mean you will let me read, in here?"

He laughed, "Yes Kassie, you can come I here and get a book from the shelves, sit down and get comfortable, and lose yourself in the works of those old souls who left us so long ago."

"Thank you," I said more touched than anything that had ever happened, anything anyone had ever done before in my life.

Oh how many evenings had I lost myself in those worlds I lost count.

Alex did leave on his own and I was sad to see him go, he had become a friend I felt very comfortable with. I suppose in a way the bitterness in the wind carried him away for now.

The wind outside had become bitter cold as winter began to take over the fall and Sir John spoke of a Christian holiday called Christmas.

"The Celtics mostly celebrated the Winter Solstice, but ancient cultures called it Yule," Darius said, "they celebrated it a little differently, but many cultures had their winter holiday and way of celebrating it."

As a way of celebrating the month and in remembrance of the way the world once was we had a special diner and John got his way with a tree to decorate. I think the children enjoyed it but I felt wrong in doing it somehow and Darius seemed to understand.

"You follow a different belief," he said, "so do I, I understand, but that doesn't mean they have to follow our belief."

The weather got even colder and I sat often at night looking out, even standing outside alone in hopes that those travelers, like Alex, were alright in the night.

Training seemed to take over our lives and the air outside began to lose the bitterness as much, in fact it warmed quite a bit before spring hit.

That first day of spring I was surprised to go to my room after our morning classes and find an envelope on my pillow.

'Kass, happy birthday, sorry I couldn't be here to say it in person, your friend Alex.'

I was touched and I had no idea how he had known it was my birthday or how the note got there in the first place.

"I got a message from Alex last week," Darius says from the door way, "he felt badly for he knew you hadn't been here long and all, he asked me to write that for you, I just followed instruction."

"But how did he know, how did you know," I asked?

"that you were born on the first day of spring," he said, "same way I knew to be in Still Water to collect you, the same way he knew I would need help getting you here safely, magic my girl, magic, psyonics,"

"So anyhow, happy birthday," he said.

No one has said those words to me sense I turned three I think and it touched me in a way. Than after diner John told everyone to wait a moment and he brought out a cake with a few candles on it and had everyone sing to me and it took everything in me to not cry.

"Happy birthday," John said, I got much the same from everyone, all the knights there.

After the cake the students were excused to go to bed and I went outside to be alone with my own thoughts, sitting on the porch as a cold wind kicked up.

"So what is eating my girl here," Darius asked as he sat next to me on the steps, "it's your birthday you shouldn't be sad, your usually happy."

"Nothing really, it's stupid, trust me on this one," I said but I couldn't help that I was fighting the feeling of crying for myself.

"Kassie," he said looking at me, he put and arm around me and I lay my head on his shoulder and stop fighting the tears as much. "Come on what's going on?"

"I'm fifteen," I cried, "it's just something not celebrated I guess, never really has been, and I guess it affected me in a way."

How do I explain it really unless I really explain it all, how much he hated me, everything. No it's in the past, behind me; I just wasn't that girl anymore.

For a while I sat out there with Darius until the tears dried up and he told me I needed to go to bed, that we started early around there and I smiled and went to bed.

I spent more than a few nights in the library reading and more often than not Darius had to poke his head in and remind me I needed to sleep too.

After classes while the other students were out in the yard I hung out in the kitchen with Darius and John while diner was being made and did what I could to help. Both men I would describe as jokesters in their own right, they could tease something awful for a silly thing like dropping a spoon, I think it all made the last seven months go by so much faster than I would have expected it to.

Lady DeWhite had taken off a few weeks back and she had taken Tiffany, Weston, and frank, they returned last night with another Knight named Sir Jeremy but most called him Jerry for short, he also looks oriental in a way and I learned he was Lady DeWhite's half brother, their father had been some great hero long ago.

It was one of those rare overly warm summer nights where most of the other squires were out-side running about and teasing each other. A few times the last few nights Darius has asked me if I would rather be out there with them and I rolled my eyes, I just didn't feel I was that young still.

They are in the kitchen with us cooking some Chinese dishes, an egg soup, some sweet meat called teriyaki, and some sweet and sugary dumplings that look like a dough nut in a way, they also are making something more for the adults, something called Kung Pao Chicken that I'm told is rather spicy.

"just don't eat the peppers," Darius tells me as he walks up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders, nothing in the way he acts around me isn't fatherly in a way and in that way I believe I have grown rather attached to him, the father I always wanted and needed.

"You have got to be kidding," Sir John says, "If there is anyone here who can take it she can."

For whatever reasons the two knights I am most used to have become comfortable enough with me to treat me as an equal in a way Lady DeWhite and Sir Jerry seem to have followed suit.

For the last hour it seems the different knight's spoke mostly of the man Lady DeWhite had gone to find with her two squires and how she ended up finding Sir Jerry too. "When the fight broke out Tiffany froze," she said, "I don't understand why, I mean she is skilled, I wouldn't have taken her with me if I didn't have faith in her ability, but she stands there doing nothing and I end up having to worry more for her safely than for the reason we were there."

"Not good," Darius says, "something like that could get a person killed, if not herself or you but some innocent there who you missed paying more attention to Tiffany."

"Weston was the opposite," she tells us, as she leans up agents the counter snacking on bean sprouts, "we were at one point just looking for the man, nothing big, no fight required and he wants to through his weight around, than when we met up with the guy Weston goes barreling in without any question as to what was going on or how we should handle it. He even summoned his sword and used it as a threat and a fight broke out, that's when Tiffany froze up and I was stuck between the one who wouldn't and the one who wouldn't stop."

"He didn't even hear either of us tell him to fall back," Jerry tells us.

"Impetus," Darius says.

"Yes," Sir John says, "in my opinion not the best quality in a knight, though neither of them handled themselves well in my opinion."

"I don't know what to do about it," Lady DeWhite said and she looks my way a moment and then back to Darius. "I suppose in time Tiffany will come out of her shell but Weston I'm not sure about."

"Maybe some more training on discipline and control," Sir John suggests and they agree, after all he has been here training for a long time.

We all sit in the dining room and eat and Darius is right, the peppers are hot, than I helped clean up the kitchen and went to the library to sit and read for the remainder of my night.

Chapter 8 FIGHTING ASSUMPTIONS!

Summer nights only last so long before the fall begins to take back over and I sit in the library again, I spend most of my nights here it seems, I think I have read threw a full section of books, over forty of them in the last eight months, I have now been here a year and Darius made a point about it earlier during our evening classes and it would seem to me Weston snickered in a way.

Oh well I wasn't here to make friends but to train and become a hero the way I promised I would last year when I spoke to that dream person.

"So just how long are you planning on reading tonight," Darius asked from the door way of the room.

"Not much longer why," I asked

"Just wondering," he said as he came in and sat down, "you really don't sleep much sometimes do you?"

"Not really," I said, "I have a lot of problems with that always have I guess, bad dreams."

"What have you been dreaming?"

"Death," I said without looking his way, "that's usually what it is that wakes me at night, seeing the death of some innocent person, some family, and due to unnecessary violence."

"Who did you see die?"

"This family," I said as I looked away, my mind seeing it again, oh how I hated dreaming. "I saw this little hand poking out of the rubble of a house, a toy doll not far from it, that was last night, or the last few nights I guess, variations of it, that and one of our own, I don't know who there are too many bandages, but I know it's a boy and I know he is messed up badly, I just don't know how it happened."

"You stay up and read until you're ready for sleep than," Darius said, "tomorrow we will talk about it some more,"

"Yes sir," I said.

I think I stayed in there another hour before deciding to head to bed in hoped of some sleep.

As I'm coming out of the knights quarters I catch a glimpse of Weston coming out of his room a moment, he looks and sees me and were I'm coming from and gives me a funny look, than he smiles and goes back to his room.

A few more days pass and training goes as it usually does, we sit and practice but when time comes to practice with another, or to spar, Darius shows up to collect me and I leave with him. Most of the time I go with Darius outside to train with whatever other knights are there, than we go into the great house to prepare lunch for those living in the house.

I'm not to train with my class mates still for I am far too strong and I still have only so much control over my strength, there is just too much of a fear I may hurt someone badly.

Today Darius and I walk about outside and over to the garden where Darius tells me to sit, that he needs to talk to me.

"What's wrong," I ask thinking I've done something wrong.

"Nothing," he says, "does something have to be wrong for me to talk to you?"

"We'll no," I said.

"You're coming along well Kassie," he said.

"Thank you sir," I said.

"I have to explain some thing's though," he says and I fear the bad news I was dreading sense we sat down on this bench. "When you leave here you will be considered a Cyber-Knight, mostly."

"Mostly," I say than I realize everything else he has said and go back to the leaving part, "wait, when am I leaving, why?"

"Not for some time now, not until your training is complete." He assures me, "however, uh," he seemed to stop trying to decide just how to finish what he was saying then slowly and it would seem carefully he begins to speak, "your physiology is a little different, more complex than a mere human's. I don't think, and neither does John, that your body would accept Cyber armor, it's something that goes under the skin, I don't see why you can't wear normal armor, the replaceable kind, but not the secret kind."

"I wouldn't want anything going under my skin anyway," I say and he chuckles in a way.

"I have it you know," he says.

"Sorry, I didn't mean anything,"

"I know you didn't," he says, "you're not that kind of person and I know that, there are other things I don't know if you can do, natural cyber-knight abilities you may never get, though believe me your strength, the natural things you can do, things already acquired before coming here and things you may later learn still, make up for those small things. It doesn't make you any less a knight; you're more in a lot of ways, just a different Cyber-knight."

"Yes sir," I said, "but Darius, why is it I'm so different?"

"I'm not sure exactly," he said, "I have not that ability to see, but in time maybe."

How many times did I sit there in that study and contemplate just that, who I was, why I was, what I was exactly, I don't know.

I think in a way I trained harder because of that vow, hopping in a way I was doing good, doing what was expected of me. I had this inner need to please someone, whether it was the man in my dream, my so called father, Darius, or me I don't know.

A few more weeks passed and fall is finally coming to a halt as I feel the winter chill coming back into the air. What it is about the wind that called me out I don't know, but I sit there under a tree lost in thought and writing in my journal, it seems as if lately I have allowed myself great distraction away from writing in this, than again I have had many books to do that.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the teacher's pet scribbling away about her control over the academy," I hear and look up to see Weston looking down at me with a self-satisfied look on his nearly perfect face that almost confused me. "Too good to train with us are you," he asked.

"No," I said.

"and yet you bow out every day," he said, "it comes time to spar and your trainer comes and collects you before you have a chance to be dropped on you pretty back side."

"That's not true I've fallen more than my share," I said.

"When,"

"Sparring with Darius, or John, even Alex," I say,

"And yet none of them are students," Weston said.

"I'm not allowed to fight or spar you, any of you, I could hurt you," I said.

"You hurt us," he said, "a little girl like you hurt us, some of us have trained long before you came here and you think you can hurt us."

Tiffany joins him as does Frank.

"Then again, Tiffany when was the last time you went to the privet quarters of one of the trainers, even Lady DeWhite, at all, let alone at night. Oh wait your also the only one of the squires to have your own privet room and bath room, all decorated up to suit your own taste too," he said as if he were asking.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, "I've never been in anyone's room, only the library that is next to Lord Coake's room, and I didn't pick my room."

"oh bull," he said, "but fine, fine if you say you're not a pet, if you claim you're not treated special in some way than spar me, right here and now spar me, I've been here a long time, I've trained hard, let's see if you can hold your own, one day you may have to."

"You truly are impetus aren't you," I said still sitting there and looking up at him. "It's not exactly the best quality in a knight you think. I'm not fighting you, I'm not sparring you, my orders were to not do such a thing and I won't break that word to Darius or to those I believe in."

"Impetus," he said, "you're being challenged to a fight, stand and fight me."

"No, I will not," I said, "part of our code states not to fight those less than you and I will not brake that, this is a pointless fight I will have no part in."

Still I don't get up.

Weston must have gotten angry or he thought he could intimidate me into fighting him, for suddenly I saw the blue energy of a psi-sword pointed at my face.

"Fight me damn you or just sit there and I'll fight you," he said.

I gulped back my fear for he could truly hurt me, even kill me, now, but Darius said not to fight and I wasn't about to disobey, not after promising my father obedience, no I would keep that promise even if it meant my end.

"Stand and fight me," Weston said again.

"I will not fight you," I said again, "kill me if you wish, I will not break my word to my father nor will I break our code."

"You're a fool," Weston said

"Wes," Tiffany said, "come on this isn't funny anymore, let the girl be."

"She'll stand and fight me," he said and I could see an anger building in him and I knew no man could hold that in too long. "She will not just sit there as if she is better than the rest of us."

"I never said I was better only different," I said without even changing from the even tone I was using, "I still will not fight you, like I said before, if you think you must, if it makes you feel important, if it makes you feel like your grown up or more of a man, than kill me and be done with it, but I will not fight you."

"You're being challenged," he said.

"And you mistakenly think you're the first or only man to threaten me, you're not, I'm used to it more than I am breathing. I accepted the thought of death long ago, so kill me if you must, if not then put away your toy and be gone with you."

His anger persisted and a steady hand no more, shook, as the blade hit my chin and actually cut me, I feel the sting followed by the trickling sensation of my own blood dripping off my chin, yet still I didn't move.

"Wes someone is coming," Tiffany said pulling on Weston's other arm.

Before my face, literally, the sword was dispersed, "this isn't over little girl, you will fight me one day, one way or the other."

"We'll see wont we," I said. And Weston ran off with Frank and Tiffany.

Oh I had been afraid, more so than I had been in a long time, I had just become good over the years at hiding it, and now that he was gone I felt almost ill I was so scared.

I picked up my journal and ran into the house and to my room without stopping or speaking to anyone.

Once in my room alone, in my bath room, I could see it in the mirror, the small gash in my chin, the blood that had dripped down onto my robe. I grabbed a towel and held it to my chin as I tried with everything in me to not cry the way I wanted to. Oh how I didn't want to give Weston the satisfaction of making me cry, and yet I wanted to so badly too.

"Kassandra," I heard Darius call from my room, usually he knocked before coming in my room, but now he didn't. He came right in and over to the open bath room door. "What happened, are you ok?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," I cried.

"Timmy and Jimmy came running saying there was an altercation with you and Weston, what happened," he asked?

Oh I was in trouble again, why was it I couldn't just keep out of trouble, why did I always mess everything up? I was sure Darius would have me leave now.

"Nothing, I didn't do anything I swear it,"

"I didn't think you had," he said, "I also didn't accuse you!"

I turned away and didn't look at him.

"He challenged me and I declined," I said

"Let me see," he said turning me back to him and taking the towel from me as he lifted my chin for a better look. "You'll live, it should heal up fine once it stops bleeding but I know damage from a psi-sword when I see it, did he use a psi-sword?"

I just nodded.

"Darius am I treated differently," I asked?

"yes you are," he said as he looked into my eyes and gave me the one thing I knew I could always count on from him, honesty, his eyes always showed me honesty. "Not a lot, but a little yes, but you are different, you're not quite human yet you are, I think we all know you're special. In the same sense you're only a fifteen year old and yet in ways more mature than most, than some twenty, even thirty year olds I know. I think in a way we have all talked about how easy it is to be around you and forget your still a kid, I guess we all feel a comfort with you."

"I'm human," I tried to keep the tears I felt from the remark out of my voice for how many times had Pa said I wasn't a human being but an animal and it hurt me deeply to think anyone, to think Darius could say or think it too.

"Ah Kassandra, how the gods have blessed," Sir Darius says in his teasingly way, "there are many worlds out there Kassie, different beings, different races, different kinds of human's. You're more than a mere human, like most here on this world, even me, your special, you need to see it."

"Weston said you favor me, he said they all think it too," I said, "He complained about my not staying and sparing with the others, he challenged me to a fight."

"Ok," Darius said, "than next time, and there will be a next time, there always is, you fight him, you defend yourself, and you fight well, to the best of your ability, the way a knight should."

"But my strength," I said, "he wears no armor, I could hurt him."

"Kassie you have been challenged," He said, "attacked even, you must defend yourself, or next time you may walk away with a more severe injury, if you walk away at all."

"But the code," I said even if at this point I felt like I was grasping at straws.

"It says fight for ideas such as honor also, to live for respect and honor, even for yourself, if you don't stand and show him you can defend yourself he will keep coming and he will hurt you."

"Yes sir," I said though it felt wrong.

"I meant what I said Kassie," he said as he once again touched my chin and looked into my eyes, "the gods have blessed you, your meant for good things, you just have to get there, I'm here, we are all here training you to get to that step, to be the great hero that they expect you to be."

"I wouldn't want to let them down would you," he asked me?

"No sir," I said.

The rest of the day I spent in my room, I even skipped the evening classes and diner, I guess I needed my time and Darius was giving it to me. I simply lay there on my bed, not even sleeping really, just thinking about Weston and the fight and the mess I seemed to be in now because of him.

I knew my strength, I knew very well I could easily hurt him, even kill him if I tried to and I was afraid that I didn't even know my strength, that hurting him was the least of my worries and killing was. Could I kill another, a good person, just to prove I could? Oh why couldn't this be as simple as turning the other cheek, just ignore him, or Lady DeWhite talking to him and telling him it was unbecoming of a knight to challenge another this way?

To me it seemed simple for if Darius gave me an order I would do it without questioning it, than again he just ordered me to defend myself and I was questioning it, wasn't I?

Oh how I wished someone would tell me what to do. Like a sign or something to say whether this was right or not.

I got nothing why did that surprise me?

Before morning my chin was already healed up fine, not even a scratch was there to prove I had ever been hurt.

I wanted to stay there in my room still, sure you couldn't see the cut anymore, but I still knew it had been there. I wanted to stay in my room and sulk all day still and I knew very well Darius would have let me do just that.

However I heard a light knock on the door, and I opened it slightly.

"I'm not going to make you come out or deal with this yet but I will ask you if I can get you something to eat, I know you skipped diner last night," Darius said.

I just looked away crossing my arms over my chest to hold myself and he came into the room.

"Kassie," he said, "I know your upset, I also know you can't dwell on one altercation this way."

"I'll be in the dining room in a few minutes," I said without looking up from the floor.

"Good," he said, "what about training,"

"I made a promise to obey," I said, "I vowed to do whatever you tell me to do, and I will."

"I wouldn't tell you to do anything that would hurt you," he said, "I wouldn't ask you to do anything I knew you couldn't do, I also know that this will be hard on you, I'll be there though."

Breakfast was quiet, I think I picked threw my meal more than ate it.

Morning classes Darius stood in there as did Lady DeWhite, Sir John, and Sir Jerry.

When it came time to pair off I expected to leave with Darius, I was wrong.

"No Kassandra I think I would like you to stay today," Sir John said and the others seemed to nod in agreement. "In fact I think it's time we spar, you and I, here and now."

"But," I argued, the last time I sparred with John, well it wasn't pretty, I accidentally hit him a little harder than I expected and he flew back some and into a tree.

"Don't worry Kassie," Sir John said, "I will be fine, I can take it, don't worry about it.

He touches a tattoo and I knew by now that it's magical in a way, giving him some special abilities in a way.

"Ok, I'm ready, I think," he said.

No matter how many times I heard him tell me he would be ok I still was afraid to hit him really, yet still I took my stance and waited for Sir John to make the first move.

Sir John tried to hit me, he tried and I moved out of the way, he tried to sweep kick me, and I dodged it too.

"Ok," he said, "I forget how fast you can be, but this is far from over my dear."

We played hit and miss for a few moments before he actually hit me and a little harder than he expected and stopped fighting, shaking his hand a moment, I was fine, I hadn't even moved, not a flinch even.

"Are you ok," I asked?

"Yes," he said, "I believe so,"

After a minute he is ready again and the fight starts back up again only this time I caught his fist and caught his foot with my leg and knocked him on his back side.

This wasn't an unusual thing for I had been training with the different knights now for over a year and a half now and I was kind of used to their moves, I could almost predict the next move before it happened.

"Sorry," I said.

"Well at least I can breathe this time," Sir John said Darius laughs.

"I'd like to see you do better," Sir John said.

"Oh let the little girl knock me down again," Darius said, "no I think I have played that game enough times already."

"However Miss Kassandra, if you would be so kind as to come with me," Darius said.

"Yes sir," I said.

That was there way of making a point, showing in class that I could take care of myself, that I wasn't the pampered princess they thought I was.

Over than next few weeks it would seem different knights came and went. There was a grayish guy with red eyes that had been a friend of Alex, his name was Sir Trevor. Over diner he sat there talking about the places he had been over the last year.

"It was insane," he said, "than out of nowhere here comes Alex, how exactly he got that habit of rushing in to a hopeless situation in just enough time to save a guys life I don't know, but here comes Alex in with both swords swinging and ends the fight completely."

"then Alex is ok," I asked, it had been eight months sense my birthday when I got that note from him and a part of me worried about him, I just wasn't sure why.

"Oh Alex, sure he is always ok," Sir Trevor said.

"Don't worry about him Kassie," Darius said looking my way, "Alex has a way of coming out of any situation in one piece."

"I'm not worried really, it's just been a while sense we heard from him," I said.

I sit again in the library reading in to the night until sleep seemed to be taking over and once again I'm out in the yard and staring down the blue energy of a psi-sword. It comes toward me and I feel it slice into my skin, right across my cheek and down my chest, I can feel the blood begin to spill, the stinging sensation of a fresh wound, smell the iron in my blood.

I woke with a start feeling my heart pounding under my chest and Darius is kneeling next to me.

"Kassie are you ok," he asked

I just nodded.

"You fell asleep," he said, "You need to go to bed and get some rest."

"I don't want to," I said thinking back to the dream, never had I slept good after a nightmare and after that one I was afraid of the dream to come if I fell back to sleep.

"Come on Kassie," he said, he took the book out of my hand and set it down, than he took my hand and pulled me up to my feet. "Come on, your exhausted, you need to get to sleep, you need some rest."

He led me over to my room and actually put me to bed, tucking me in and kissing my forehead before leaving me. "Sweet-dreams," was the last thing I heard before my eyes closed.

When I woke it was daylight and obviously it had been for a while. I sat up confused and looked around. Nightmares had taken my dreams the night before, most I couldn't remember but I knew it was bad and I hated it.

I took myself into the bathroom and stripped down and jumped into a hot shower letting myself get lost in the feeling of the hot water pounding on my skin.

When I walked into the kitchen morning classes were already getting out and I got a cup of coffee and sat at the table.

"Sleeping beauty finally woke up," I heard and I didn't have to look, I knew it was Darius.

"Why didn't you wake me," I asked, it wouldn't have been the first time he poked his head in my room or knocked on the door wondering if I were ok.

"You needed some sleep," he said. He looked at me and sat down, "hay what's eating my girl, talk to me."

"Nightmares, always nightmares," I said.

"What about this time," he asked

"Different things," I said, "to be honest I don't remember all of it."

"Well why don't you take today for yourself," he said, "it isn't unheard of you know, take a day, get some rest, do some reading."

"Yes sir," I said.

Outside a cold wind howled threw the trees and an icy rain fell. I don't know why but I went out there into it and wondered a bit, sitting there letting the cold rain fall on me and wondering just what it was that was going on with me, why it was I was feeling so down lately, but I was feeling completely outside of myself.

The rain had drenched me and I knew it I just didn't care much as I sat there on the porch.

"Well if it isn't the pet," I heard, "little Miss perfect, too pretty to do anything, letting the appeal of her sexuality get her everywhere in life."

I looked over at Weston and rolled my eyes.

"I saw him leaving your room last night," he said.

"You know you're an ass, with a dirty mind," I said, "not even an accurate ass, I work hard just the same as everyone else does. The only reason Darius was in my room was because I fell asleep in the library, he took me to my room."

"You work hard," he mocked, "you want to be a knight, a great hero, yet you won't take a challenge."

"I said I wasn't going to fight you," I said once more.

This time he doesn't wait, he just summons his sword and points it at me.

"Fight me or I'll cut your pretty face up, I guess you won't be so pretty after that, huh," he says.

"I will only warn you once, I heal, whatever you might think of doing I'll heal, will you," I asked him in a matter of fact way I had hoped he would back off from.

"I guess there is only one way to find out," he says the blade sways in front of my face as a threat.

Darius said I had to fight, I had to defend myself, and it's the only thing that goes through my head as I look up at him.

I kick up at him, his hand that hold's the sword, than I reach out and punch him in the stomach and he falls to his knees. Oh I had tried to pull my punch but I still seemed to hurt him enough that he started spitting up blood.

"Oh no," I cried, "oh god no,"

I looked over and saw the door open and Tiffany standing there.

"Help, get help, please," I cried.

Weston lay there, his sword had disbursed and he held his stomach, his hand is obviously broken; I can see the bone sticking out threw his skin.

"I told you," I cried looking at him, "I told you I could hurt you, I'm sorry."

I think it was taking all he had but he shrugged away from my hand as I tried to touch him; though after what I had done I couldn't blame him.

Something was going on in me I didn't understand and I didn't know how to as Sir John and Sir Darius came rushing out of the house, Lady DeWhite behind them.

"What happened," Lady DeWhite asked and I could hear the disapproval in her voice.

"I, I," I stuttered for I knew I really had hurt him, I knew Lady DeWhite was unhappy, and I still felt something strange I couldn't understand, something flowing threw me, a feeling that I needed to touch him.

"Kassandra its ok," Darius said.

"I, he attacked me and I defended myself like you said," I said, "I don't know how to explain this, but, please move, I have to, I don't know, I just, move."

Darius somehow trusted in me, maybe he knew me better than I knew myself, I don't know. He let me touch Weston's arm and something passed from me to him as the blood began to dry up from him mouth.

I was scared, of myself for a moment, I didn't really understand just what had happened here, from hurting Weston, to whatever it was I just did to him with my touch.

I backed up away from him holding myself.

"Kassie," Darius said, "come on its ok, it's going to be ok,"

Darius took me back to my room as Sir John and Lady DeWhite took Weston to the infirmary.

In my room I lay there on my bed for a long time, it's where Darius left me, lying there feeling scared and confused.

I almost killed a man, a good man, and I wasn't ok with that.

Hours passed before Darius came back in my room to check on me.

"Hay Kassie," he said. I looked over at him as sat on the bed, "how are you doing."

"How is Weston," I asked, my voice hoarse from emotion.

"he'll live, thanks to you," he said, "when you hit him you did some major damage, internal damage that should have killed him, it just wasn't anything that medication or even surgery could have normally fixed, but somehow you touched him and healed it up some, enough that he will live."

"It's a rare sonic ability that I've heard of before but I haven't really seen before. "He said, "You have healed the worst of it, but he still has some healing to do on his own, that I won't let you fix."

"What why," I asked as I sat up and looked at him in confusion.

"Kassie he needed the lesson," he said, "if you fix it he won't learn anything at all from this experience. Second I think that maybe he is hiding something I just don't know what yet and I'm waiting to find out what will happen."

"I didn't mean to hurt him," I asked

"I know you didn't," he said, "We all know you didn't mean anything, you didn't even want to fight him or hurt him, and he gave you no way out."

"I wish I could be as confident as you are," I said.

"In time my dear, in time," he said.

For once I slept, I lay there and I slept, easily I slept in late, later than ever even, without a soul trying to wake me or disturb me, they just gave me my space.

Chapter 9 BROKEN LITTLE VOWS!

Dear diary,

While Weston was in the infirmary I decided to go see him. I didn't care what Darius said, if I could help Weston some more I was going to do just that, vow be damned, obedience too, what good was it to be a hero if you didn't help others.

As I walked in the room this feeling hit me like a ton of bricks, that sickening feeling in my gut.

"What the," I said as I looked at Weston who was still unconscious, but there was no one else in the room, it had to have come from him.

It was nearly noon and I went looking for Darius; I had to tell him, this was something he had to know about.

But I ran straight into Sir Alexander who was coming back in from his quest.

"Hay Kass," he said as I literally ran into him and he grabbed my arms for a moment. "Where are you off to so quickly?"

"I need to find Darius," I said, "or John, something is wrong with Weston, I'm sorry though, it was nice to see you."

"Is it anything I can help you with," he asked.

"I don't think so," I said.

"Ok, well I saw Darius going to his room for a moment," Alex said, "and I saw John leaving, he had to run to the next town for a few things, he should be back tomorrow."

"Already," I said and I had to wonder just how long I had been absorbed in myself from this. "Well than I guess I need Darius, this may be big."

I went to the room and knocked on the door impatiently until he opened the door, with a curious Alex behind me.

"Kassie what's wrong," he asked, "what happened, at least you're out of your room."

"I'm fine it's Weston," I said

"What about him," Darius asked.

"I think something's wrong," I said, "I know you told me not to but I went to see him, to check on him and, and,"

"Heal him, like I knew you would," Darius said.

"Well yes, wait you did, well I did I hurt him," I said.

"Sense when do you heal people," Alex asked?

"Sense she nearly killed Weston the other day," Darius said.

"Oh thanks," I said.

"By the gods," Alex said.

"Ok, he attacked her, a couple months ago, we said that if it happened again she would have to stand up to him," Darius said.

"He's right," Alex said

"So the day before yesterday, they got into a fight, she messed him up good, and then healed some of it." Darius said.

"Yeah ok can we give the recap later and check up on him now," I said.

They followed me and just as I felt it when I got close to him before I felt it again, so did they.

"Wow he is one evil S.O.B.," Alex said.

"Like I said, something is wrong, really really wrong," I said.

"I wonder just how long this has been going on under our noses," Darius asked.

"That I can't help you with," I said, "at least not that I know of that is?"

"Oh he will soon enough," Alex said, "though Kass really did a number on him, especially if this is after healing him."

"All she did was one kick to the hand and one pulled punch to the gut," Darius bragged as if proud of me.

"Um hello," I said.

"Sorry Kassandra," Darius said.

"Kass, no one should be apologizing, you had to fight, you fought well, be happy you did well," Alex said. "Remember it's an accomplishment of those your training, it's an accomplishment of those who have trained you also, like a parent when their child learns to walk or talk, now we know you can defend yourself."

Later I sat in the dining room and ate with everyone else, sitting next to Alex who told us about a few of the fights he had gotten into.

"So now Kass, tell me how that really happened with Weston," Alex asked me and I rolled my eyes.

"Come on do I have to," I asked and Darius laughed, most of the other students had left already, it was now only Alex, Darius, Jerry, and me, now.

"well, being that there weren't any knights around, teachers, trainers, whatever you want to call us, so technically yes you do," Jerry said.

"I told Darius already," I said and I rolled my eyes. "Ok fine, I went outside."

"In the cold," Alex teased me.

"I like the cold air sometimes, though the first encounter happened while it was starting to rain a little and who doesn't like the smell of fresh rain," I told him. "So anyways I was sitting there and Weston started talking about how I was getting special treatment in exchange for, I mean as if, I really don't think I need to go there. He was saying stuff about how I get out of training and all, than he challenged me and I sat there telling him that I wasn't going to fight him but he kept it up and then there was the sword and he cut me and it was over. Than the other day he challenged me and everything Darius said about how I need to defend myself went thru my head. I tried explaining to him as best I could that he was without armor and I have an ability to heal, that if he hurt me I would heal it but he wouldn't. than I saw the blue energy and all again so I just hit him, or kicked the hand with the sword away from myself and hit him more to push him away then to hurt him, though I would be lying to say I didn't want him to feel a little pain in hopes he would understand finally that I could hurt him with that little effort, so he fell and I felt this funny sensation running through me and down my arm and this need to reach for him like something in me knew what to do even if I didn't, like I had done it a hundred times before but couldn't remember, then again I have healed myself before and never paid attention to how healing feels. Darius told me I couldn't heal him anymore that it was a lesson Weston needed to learn on his own and if I completely fixed it he wouldn't but I still felt guilty for hurting another like that, I sure didn't feel like any hero, I mean come on he was a classmate, so I disobeyed but as I walked into the infirmary that sickening knot in my stomach was there and only Weston could have been giving it off so I went looking for anyone only to run into Alex. "

"Saying I couldn't help you," Alex teased me once more.

I couldn't help but smile and role my eyes a little as I looked away from him, I even felt myself bush slightly, "perhaps I should have said someone, or anyone, who had been here through the rest of the ordeal and already knew what was going on. I just didn't have it in me at the time to stop and explain the entire event. I felt, I don't know like it was urgent at the time."

It was later learned that Weston was an evil soul from the start, one with a spell cast on him that hid his true heart from us all. He joined the cyber-knight academy to learn the secrets of the knights; he wanted to be a dark cyber-knight. His mistake was challenging me for he truly thought he was invulnerable in a way and that I wasn't that big of a challenge for him.

Sir John arrives back from with more supplies and the knights get together to decide as soon as Weston is on his feet again he would be kicked out of the academy for good.

Over a week passed before they decided he was out of critical condition and Sir Jerry and Lady DeWhite took Weston away.

"Can't he just come back," I asked?

"No," Alex said, "the school, while stationary, the path moves in a way, it's kind of a dimensional thing, a pocket dimensional thing, magical or mystical. The path is something only we can see really, something only we feel the true path to the school. The school itself, as you have seen from the outside, the building appears rather small, small in fact when it's vastly large inside; large and quite comfortable, rooms pop up when needed. The rooms are always a good temperature, not to hot, not to cold. When someone comes in the door that is unwelcome, such as an intruder, they see what should be not what is, the pocket dimension can only be entered by us, it's a kind of magic. We see all this because we are not really in the building that you see out there, you see?"

"Sort of," I said.

"You will one day, one day soon I'm sure," Alex said with a smile and I once again felt my cheeks redden some. Why he had that effect on me I don't know.

Alex decides to stay a while and he evens sits in our training. More than once I got talked into sparring with Alex and Darius, even John again.

Time begins to pass quickly again, nothing really happened other than training and meals.

A few times I found myself sitting and talking with Alex about the day or our training that day, I was really starting to feel as if he were a friend. Though to be honest I was starting to feel something more than just my cheeks reddening when he teased me, it made me feel something I hadn't ever expected to feel and I was confused in a way.

The weather began to warm up again as winter was drawing to an end early, in fact days were getting up into the seventies and it was only really mid-February.

Than out of nowhere one day Darius came into the training room and looked around with a funny look on his face.

"May I help you Sir Darius," Lady DeWhite asked looking at him.

"Yes actually I need my squire," Darius said looking at me with a funny little smile on his face, "come along Kassie, we don't have that much time if we are going to keep on schedule."

"What schedule," I asked as I followed him out of the room and down the hall?

"We have a quest it would seem," he said, "and not too much time to go, so go pack up some things, clothes and such, than meet me in the library."

"The library," I asked, "why, I don't understand?"

"You will my dear, you will," he said and I did as I was told and I took a quick shower and braided my hair than dressed in my pants and a t-shirt and then I threw my other pants and shirts into my bag along with some of the pretty smelling soaps that too just seemed to appear in my bathroom even if I was starting to realize the other students didn't have the same things happening for them that I did and I was quite unsure why. Then again someone asked Darius to come and get me and help me didn't they.

In the library Darius and Alex are waiting for me, as a corner of the room is now open and another room is revealed one I never knew was there. Shelves lined one of the walls filled with different weaponry, and suits of armor hang on other walls.

"She will need armor," Alex says as I walk in the room.

"Yes she will," Darius says, "who knows what we will end up running into, maybe nothing, maybe something."

"Why do I need armor," I asked?

"Your strong, but a female still," Darius said.

"But," I say as I look around the room at the different suits of shiny metal and cringe in a way I can't explain and really don't want to.

Darius and Alex were going thru the suits looking at them and trying to decide what will fit me.

"This looks right," Darius says and he picks it up and comes over to me with it.

"Yeah," Alex said.

The closer to me they get the more nervous I get.

"Guys I don't know about this," I said

They start to laugh a little thinking I'm just being girly as they start helping me into the metal armor just to be sure it will fit, to make sure I can move in it and to prove to me that it won't be as bad as I think it will be.

As the armor is half way on my body I start feeling it, my body shaking in a way I can't control, and they don't see it yet, than the helmet goes on. I smell it first, the metal, images of the metal coffin, the smell of the metal and the dirt invade my lungs as I try with everything in me to blink back a best forgotten memory.

Hot tears fill my eyes, not that they can see it with the helmet on me. I can feel the cold metal hand on my throat, even though I know it was just part of the armor, but I felt as if it were pa's metal hand, squeezing my throat, I can't breathe.

I heard a sound come out of my mouth and I couldn't stop it.

"Please stop," I managed to cry out, "get it off of me."

Alex pulls the helmet off of me and sees the look on my face and they both quickly get me out of the armor as I collapse to the floor holding myself and crying. I feel my body trembling now as it had all along. In my head somewhere I still smell it, the damp dirt, the cold metal, my own blood.

"Kassandra," Sir Darius says but its Alex who comes to me and holds me close to him, caressing over my forehead.

He picks me up and carries me to the library to the leather couch and sets me down, but still held me close to him, never once letting me go.

"It's ok," he says, "Kass its ok, I have you, it's ok."

He says it but the fear I held inside must have taken a lot out of me for I wake sometime later lying on the couch with Alex still there, he had never left my side, he still sat there lightly caressing my forehead and watching over me.

When I opened my eyes and saw Alex sitting there I felt something I still to this day don't understand, like when he first came back to the school a few months ago. My heart did flip flops, and I smiled, but then so did he, a warmth filling me that felt good and bad for I truly expected to be like the goddesses of old, the ones I read about, swearing off men and love for adventure, for my entire life. Now I lay here looking up into his eyes feeling exactly what I never expected I would or could.

"Hi," Alex said looking down at me.

"Hi," I said.

"Are you alright," Alex asked?

I just nodded and sat up with my back agents the arm of the couch.

"I think we forget," he said, yet still he reaches out softly and runs his fingers over my hair and the few stray strands that had fallen free after the scene I had made, "I see your strength, your speed, how quickly you pick up a move, and I forget, deep down your still a woman, a fragile woman, one who still holds vulnerabilities."

"I'm sorry," I say.

"Don't be," he says, "I'd gladly come to your rescue whether you needed me to or not, you've enchanted me somehow, even if I tried to not let it happen, tried to stop it."

His eyes looked deeply into mine as he speaks and my heart warms more.

Part of me feels it coming on, as he leans in and our lips softly touch in a kiss that feels real nice, good even, so much so that I didn't really want it to end, but it did.

I looked into his eyes, our faces inches from each others.

"I hope that was ok," he said

I answered by leaning in and kissed him as his hand went to the back of my head, holding it as the other hand touches my back.

I let my hand feel the strength in his arms as if I had done all this before and knew what I was doing when I hadn't, this was truly my first kiss, as the kiss deepens into something that felt even better than it had before and I couldn't imagine it could get better.

We hear voices coming, Darius and Sir John, I know their voices, and we stop kissing and straighten up, just before they come into the room to check on me.

"Kassie," Darius says.

I look over and Alex is looking the other way, not anywhere near me or them.

"I hear someone doesn't care too much for confined spaces," Sir John said.

"Who would have guessed you were Claustrophobic," Darius says.

I shook my head and folded my arms over my chest.

"She can't exactly go into a fight unprotected," Sir Darius said, "she is still just a girl, she can get hurt, even killed."

"I'm not afraid," I said as I felt tears began to well up again, "I'm tough, I can take it, what I can't take is that, I'm sorry I just can't do metal armor around me, the smell of the metal, everything, I just couldn't breathe, I couldn't, I just,"

"Kass," Alex said looking my way finally.

"it's alright Kassandra," Sir John said, "we all know you can't help this, it's an instinct that you have no control over, but maybe some leather, something light, less constricting or confining."

"No metal," I cried, "I just can't do metal, I,"

"Why," Darius asked and I knew he knew me well, there was a reason for everything.

"No," I said looking at him.

"Ok," he said.

Light leather armor was settled on and we were all packed and ready to go, even though a part of Darius, a big part of him, wondered if maybe I shouldn't go, maybe I wasn't ready to yet, but I argued that I was fine.

I expected that we would be taking horses and got surprised out front when I found Darius packing up a hover jeep.

Before leaving I am given leather armor, a short sword, a gun, ammo, camping gear, and my own credit. It wasn't much but far from what I showed up with. Then I see Alex come out with his bag too.

"You're going too," I asked.

"Well if it's ok with you," Alex asked.

"I didn't mean it like that," I said and he laughed.

"I know, or at least I hoped so, I mean after earlier and all," He said and I blushed a little.

Darius comes around the side of the Jeep, "by car, or jeep, it's about a three day trip to the next town we will be stopping at, " he said, "if we take turns driving we can shave off a little time too."

"I packed some sandwiches for the road," Sir John said.

"Ah like mom used to make," Alex jokes and Darius laughs.

In the jeep Darius insists on taking the wheel for almost a day and a half before he gives up and hands over the driving to Alex, as Darius takes the back seat to sleep.

"I've been thinking," Alex says as we were driving, "maybe your father was Atlantean; they tend to worship the Olympian gods, and though sometimes, or most of the time, selfish, if they favor a worshiper, they tend to look after him or her."

"I don't understand," I said.

"I'm not exactly from here, your earth," Alex explains, "I'm from a place called Alexandria, it's another planet completely, one that worships the Olympian gods, they still exist to us, we follow them. We are Atlanteans, and an Atlantean can be very beautiful, strong, fast, and prone to Sonics, does it sound familiar yet."

"Kind of, "I said.

"Well maybe like me, your old man traveled here for one reason or another and then left without even knowing what he was leaving behind. But a favorite of the gods, they very well could have known, they may have even seen part of your future long ago."

"Maybe," I said.

"So tell me Kass, do you have any other family," Alex asked me after a few moments of silence.

"Two monsters," I said, "or brothers call them as you will."

He laughed, "Younger or older?"

"younger," I said, "I was born right after pa got back from some big fight, or not too long after, good timing I guess. Right after I was born they didn't wait long to start on another and got two."

Speaking about Pa had a strange effect on me; it made my blood run cold, almost as badly as when I was in the metal armor. Maybe Alex realized that for he dropped the conversation and started talking about Alexandria and what it was like growing up there as a child.

I think we got quiet for a while, I even dozed off for a while, when I woke Darius was awake and talking quietly to Alex about our so called mission.

"I just can't wait to get to the next town, "Sir Darius said, "all this time at the academy I need a break, I need to get out and away from it."

"Too much cooking for little snots and not enough trail mix," Alex joked and Darius laughed.

"Great I'm a little snot," I said.

"Um hello," Darius said, in an imitation of me, "You are with us are you not, no really if you were considered a little snot you would still be there."

"Oh good," I said and Alex laughed again.

For a short time they let me drive, though Darius took back over before we got to town.

As soon as we got to the town and pulled up in front of an Inn and go into get rooms.

"We'll Miss Kassie, I suppose we will see you in a while," Darius says, "I know you will be wanting to go up to shower and put on some clean clothes and all. In fact you could even shop some if you wanted to."

"Cool," I said. "Then I guess I will be seeing you two in an hour or so."

To me they were acting strange, than again they hadn't been out of the academy for a while, maybe it was a guy thing I couldn't get because I was a girl.

I went up to my room and set down my bag on the bed than began to pull my hair out of the braid it was in and getting undressed. Then I went in to the rest room and started the shower and stepped into it.

After I was done dressing I went out and walk about the town picking up another pair of pants and a couple more t-shirts and took them back up to my room before heading over to the tavern in hopes that both guys were in there and I was in luck, they were.

"Well there you are sun shine," Darius said as I walked over and sat down, "we already ordered so sit down and relax a bit."

I sit there looking at them. No something was definitely different, something was up. Than the waitress comes over and sets three ales down on the table, one in front of me. In all the time I had known Darius, in all the time sense I left home, no one bought me booze before or gave it to me. No, now I knew something was really up.

"Ok that's it what's going on," I asked?

"Just the celebration of sixteen," Darius said, "this is your sixteenth birthday is it not?"

Oh man could I have forgotten my own birthday that easily, than again it wasn't something celebrated before, except last year when Alex left me that note, Darius made a big point of it and John made me that cake.

"It is the first day of spring," Alex said with a smile.

"Yes, it is," I said.

Diner came and we ate and drank, we went thru three rounds before I knew it and we were talking and laughing.

"I think I will be going up in a minute," Darius says, "I guess I haven't drunk in a while, but one thing before I go up."

"What," I asked and he pulled up a small wrapped package and handed it to me.

"Wait, what is this," I asked.

"Oh Alex did it too," Darius said and he set down a smaller package.

Slowly I unwrapped the package Darius handed me to find a book.

"Darius," I said looking at it, "thank you, you know me so well."

"Yes I do," he said, "and after reading threw the book Athena gave you I think it will fill in some more blanks for you."

"Thank you," I said.

"Ok my turn," Alex said handing me the small package.

I took it and started unwrapping it to find a small box that contained a silver heart shaped locket.

"Oh wow," I said as I picked it up, it was so pretty.

"Here let me help you put it on," he said and I picked up my hair as he clasped it around my neck.

"Happy birthday Kassie," Darius says and he kisses my forehead before he goes up to his room leaving Alex and me down in the tavern alone.

The waitress brought another round of ale and Alex and I sat there alone now.

"The other day," Alex says, "I said some things, and did something."

"We kissed," I said.

"Yeah," he said, "about that, I um."

"I kissed back Alex you know that," I told him.

"Yeah I know,"

"Then nothing more need be said," I told him.

To be honest it would have been nice to sit there and hear him tell me he had feelings for me and yet it was also the last thing I wanted to hear him say at the same time. Yes it was feeling good to kind of like him but I had made a promise to myself too one I felt every day I was braking just a little by being around Alex. And yet I knew too that wasn't the only reason I partly didn't want him to say anything more for I was partly afraid he would apologize once more telling me it shouldn't have happened. I was afraid of how it would feel to have him say he didn't feel the same spark I had felt, the same energy.

We were sitting there and really there weren't many others left in the tavern anymore. Alex looked around the room.

"It would seem everyone is leaving," Alex said as the woman brought us the sixth round of ale.

"I guess it would," I said.

"Maybe we should go up too," he said.

"Maybe," I said.

Oh it was there, whatever it was I was feeling when we were on the couch kissing before, it was there.

I picked up my new book and started going over across the street with Alex behind me. When we got to the door of my room Alex stopped there a moment.

"Well good night," he said, "sleep well Kass, and once again happy birthday."

Despite everything I had ever said about how I wanted my life to be and the things I vowed to not do right there at that moment I didn't want him to go; I just wasn't sure how to get him to stay or even if he would have stayed. I wasn't even sure why I was feeling this way now.

"I, um," I heard myself say, "You could come in if you wanted to; I'm not really tired anyway."

He looked my way and stepped forward, a hand going to my side as he teased me with an unsure kiss, and I leaned up into it. I felt myself melting into the kiss as it intensified.

As the kiss ended I stood there with my eyes closed a moment, then I turned and opened the door and go in with Alex right behind me.

I set my things down on the table and turn back to Alex who pulled me closer into his strong arms, his hands touching my body.

Teased kisses turned into electric kisses as I pulled Alex's shirt up and over his head, though he had to help me, he was taller than I was, for the first time seeing Alex's chest, the muscles, the different ruined tattoo's.

Softly I ran my hands over his chest, looking up into his eyes as he looked down into mine, and then kissed me again.

As we kissed and touched he pulled my shirt up over my head and dropped it on the floor behind me. His hands went to my pants and unbuttoned them as we made our way over to the bed, leaving clothes behind us.

In the bed we kissed as Alex's hands touched over my body bringing on something even more than I imagined.

Come morning I woke still in bed and wrapped up in Alex's arms, naked.

"Good morning," Alex said.

"Morning," I said.

He reached over and caressed the side of my cheek and kissed my shoulder, my lips, than down over my breasts. By the time he brought his lips back to mine I was drowning, that feeling came back over me again as I closed my eyes, as our bodies began to take on a motion of their own.

For a few moments we were laying there in each other's arms basking in the afterglow of what we had done.

"I hate to say this believe me I do," Alex said, "I would like nothing more than to lay here all day, like this, but we have to get up, we have to get dressed and go eat with Darius, before he comes looking for us."

"I know," I said, "it doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."

He just laughed and kissed me once more before he sat up and pulled his pants on looking for his shirt.

"I'll see you down stairs," he said as he leaned down and kissed me one more time, looking into my eyes. Then he left me.

Chapter 10 WHAT DARIUS WILL THINK!

I lay there a moment alone realizing just what it was I had done, I had broken another vow, one that I had made and believed in for a very long time. It was something I just didn't really know what to do about or how I felt about it. I did know I cared for Alex more than I had ever thought I could.

Then I forced myself to get up and go take a shower and get dressed in a pair of black pants and a small pink baby doll t-shirt taking a guilty moment to look at myself in the mirror and the way my body had changed in the last year, the way it had filled out even more then I thought it would and the way my clothes hugged my every curve showing the body of a woman. Despite my vow I had to smile to myself for something about Alex really made me feel alive. Perhaps mama was right after all and love really does happen to all of us in time.

I knew Darius well; he would have wanted to get back on the road again as soon as possible. Not that I knew where it was we were going.

So I threw my things in my bag and headed down to the tavern where Alex and Darius were already sitting and eating, one other plate on the table and I knew it was for me.

"Well good morning sun shine how did you sleep," Darius asked, "I do believe this is the latest I have ever seen you sleep in before, at least without being upset about something or having a nightmare of some sort."

"Fine," I said, I looked over at Alex for a moment than back at my plate. No I wouldn't say anything to give Darius the impression anything happened between Alex and I that was between us and none of anyone else's business. Besides though I feel I'm old enough to make the decision for myself and though I was the one to make the first move really, I was still a student and I wasn't really sure how that would go over with Darius or the academy. I couldn't help but wonder if Alex had thought about that at all?

I don't even want to think about how it would go over with the vow I made and now broke. I could only imagine the trouble I was now in with that.

"Nightmare's," Alex asked looking at Darius?

"It's no big deal really," I said and Darius dropped it.

We ate and just as we figured Darius wanted to get back on the road again. For the next few days we drive stopping in the evening to make camp so we can at least get some rest. Setting traps and happy we still had some of the bread John had made and sent with us.

"Were actually making pretty good time," Darius said as we sat around the fire one night.

"We are," I asked?

"Oh yeah," he said.

I actually got the chance to take watch; after arguing that I wasn't the same scared child Darius had picked up fifteen months ago, no I was far from that child I was then and I knew it in my soul.

Alex was right; I was a woman, a strong and capable woman.

While Alex and Darius sleep I sit by the fire and read the book Darius had gotten me for my birth day. Every now and again I set it down to put more wood on the fire for it is still rather cold at night.

I think I had gotten soaked in to the explanations of Greece and what it was once like, the place called Mount Olympus where the gods lived and how they lived their lives.

"Trying to take the whole night for yourself are you," I heard and jumped a little as Alex startled me, I was so lost in my own thoughts I hadn't heard him until he spoke and he laughed. "Nice watch not even paying attention to the things around you are you."

"I guess I was a little absorbed," I said.

Alex sits down next to me and looks my way.

"I can tell," he said, "must be a good book,"

"Yes it is," I said.

"Care for some company," he asked as if I would say no.

"Sure," I said. I closed the book and set it in my bag as Alex scoots a little closer to me, I now lay practically in his lap, comfortably curled up in the arms of the man who showed me a the love of a man and woman.

"About the other night," he said quietly.

"What about it," I asked?

"Well, I just wanted you to know it wasn't expected," he said, "it's not like I expected it to happen or anything, I hope you know that."

"I know that," I said.

"I've never been so nervous, "he said and I looked up at him confused, "you have no idea do you, just how beautiful you are, how easy it is to be taken by you?"

I just smiled and blushed what else could I do?

He caressed my face and kissed my lips softly for a while. I would have said it was a romantic seen, two lovers softly kissing by the fire, light caresses over one another's bodies, nothing sordid or dirty, just a pure and new love.

I fell asleep there in Alex's arms happy, content, and loved.

Alex must have dozed off too for the next thing I knew it was dawn and I heard a crashing sound that drew my attention as I woke up, I see Darius standing over by the jeep, and he looks off toward the sound, as do I.

Alex sits up also, stretching a little from the way he had slept.

"What was that," Alex asked?

"Don't know," Darius says, he looks over at Alex and I and the way we are still laying in each other's arms and he shakes his head making me feel a little self-conscious of it.

I stand and begin walking toward the sounds in the distance, caught in a feeling I couldn't explain really, ignoring the men I'm traveling with as they try to tell me to come back, but the closer I get the more something catches my attention, a scene out of a dream I wish I could have forgotten.

"Kass," Alex calls as I rush up the small hill too see what is happening on the other side.

A farm is near us, must have been a working farm too for it has more wild stock than we had at our farm back home, a few head of cattle, some sheep, even a few elk. Around the main house, one I swear I have seen before somewhere, there are a bunch of demonic looking creatures, they looked almost human but not, with dark circles around there red eyes, strange looking hands, and a lot of weaponry.

One of them shoots off something, a missile launcher, and it shoots into the house bringing the house down around itself.

I run back to the small camp we had made the night before as something hits me I can't explain for I knew very well I saw this before, a few weeks ago, I dreamt it I just don't know how or why.

Alex and Darius are already getting themselves ready for a fight as I run back to them.

"What did you see Kassie," Darius asked.

"Some stark white human looking creatures with red eyes and strange hands, it's a simple farm, I don't know about people, but I assume it was inhabited," I say.

"They have weaponry," I say, "but I'm not sure just how many they are, at least ten I would say, nevertheless they are definitely evil."

"Ok," Darius says, "get yourself ready and we will go in."

I pull out the gun and sword and turn to Darius.

"are you sure about this," he asks for I didn't even bother with armor, I just can't do it, I feel confined and I don't like it, I don't like the way it makes me feel, all panicky and stuff.

"Yes sir I'm sure," I said.

"Kass," Alex said looking my way.

"You said yourself, I'm strong, I'm fast, so don't worry, I'm tough, more so than you have ever seen before." I said thinking about all the times pa hurt me and I always healed fine.

I know Alex doesn't like it but I can't explain this, I can't explain that when it's my time it will be my time no matter what I'm wearing and there is nothing we can do about it. Armor be damned, my time is my time.

We rush in the fight and I'm pulling my punches, using my sword mostly, not wanting to really hurt anyone. Then I see it, it gets my attention, a doll, a child's doll, and the child's hand not far from it.

Maybe it gets my attention a second too long for something hits me, a shot from something and it stings like nothing I felt before, as I fly back into the rubble, hearing the sound of a cry beneath me.

I look down a moment at my stomach and see my shirt half gone and a rather large wound in my stomach and side, nowhere near as bad as it could be. I get up angry as I realize that there are people's lives still at risk for someone in that ruble is still living, the child, maybe more.

I see Alex cut the head off of one of these creatures with two psi-swords to one side of me and Darius do much the same on the other side of me, three bodies lie near him. I know very well they both have seen me get hit, I heard Alex yell my name, I saw him stop fighting a moment, Darius too, but right now the fight has them, there is just no time out in a life of death match.

I rush back in, I'm not about to hold back anymore, no these things are going down. I pick up the sword I had originally had and struck one of the creatures, the sound of slicing flesh should affect me but right now all I care about is a child's hand, as I slice again and again, than I turn and kick the head straight off one of the creatures as another one jumps on my back ripping into my chest with its claw like fingers, they slice my skin like a warm knife threw cold butter and I scream as I reach back and grab the its head and pull, feeling a funny popping sensation as its neck brakes and it falls off my body dead.

Not far from me Alex kills two more and Darius puts down the last one of them as I look around for more and see nothing, feel nothing.

"Kass," Alex says.

"Kassie," Darius says

They look at me and the blood pouring from my side, my chest too now, the shirt nearly shredded to pieces.

I turn back to the wreckage and the small hand is not moving anymore.

"No," I muttered to myself as I start picking up pieces of the house and tossing it aside.

I found the girl and she couldn't have been more than four years old and was apparently badly hurt.

I picked her up as I felt that feeling start to go through my body again, as some healing property went from me to her, and her breathing became more normal and she opened her eyes.

The sweetest sound that morning was the cry of a small child, a little girl whose life we saved.

"Kassandra," Darius says standing next to me, Alex next to him. "Stop a moment."

"No," I say, as I go back to the wreckage, "there more in there, we have to find them, we have to help them."

"Ok we will, but first you're hurt, badly," Alex said.

I looked at them confused for I had already forgotten about the wounds on my body, more concerned with the victims in the house, the rubble, than with myself.

"what this, I'm fine," I said, yes I had been hurt before, nothing as bad as this but I wanted to believe I was fine, I had always healed well so I wanted to feel I would be fine.

"Kassandra," Alex said grabbing my arm and making me look at him, "you're hurt, you're bleeding."

"And that little girl's family is dying right now, we are wasting time," I told him as I pulled my arm out of his grip. I just go back to making my way through the wreckage, tossing debris away from the house.

I guess Alex and Darius both realized the only way they could get me to relax some was to help me get through this as quickly as possible, so they started tossing wreckage too. In all the wreckage we find her parents, two brothers, a sister, and both sets of grandparents bodies, the only one we end up saving is the one grandfather. It's something that doesn't sit well with me.

After we have the bodies together Alex runs off to get his bag, coming back with one of his grey t-shirts and some bandages to dress my wounds.

"This isn't necessary," I tell him but he looks over the still bleeding gashed in my side and chest, than back into my eyes with a sarcastic look. "Really Alex I'm fine, I'll live, and I promise you that." He still dresses the wounds and hands me the t-shirt to put on.

Nothing in his demeanor is like him.

"Are you mad at me," I asked finally?

"You just don't get it do you," he asked, "you jumped in a fight, no armor, and you got hurt, really hurt,"

"I'll be fine," I said

Darius holds up the missile launcher that shot me, "and lucky at that, nothing these guys carried were weak,"

Alex just looks at the weapon and at me, the wound it left behind.

"I'll heal," I said looking away from my friends, "I always do."

"We have some graves to dig," Darius says looking my way, maybe by now he knew me well enough not to push.

"Yeah, ok," Alex said.

It took us a few hours to dig graves for everyone and give them all a proper burial. I find myself turning more to the Olympian gods praying to them over the dead, to Hades, maybe Darius did too.

The girls name is Anna, her Grandfather is Peter, and he decides they will stay there in the guest quarters in the barn and contact some other family to help them re-build the family farm.

When our work is done we go back to the camp and pack up everything into the jeep and get on our way in silence.

I lay in the back seat for a long time sleeping off and on and I see Alex look back every now and then to check on me.

"She'll be ok," I heard Darius tell him, "let's just get to the next town and get some rooms so she can clean up and get some rest, it can't hurt."

"This is stupid you know that," Alex said, "we took a squire into a fight without proper protection."

"I know," Darius says, "I just don't know what to do about it."

Just after I wake up we end up pulling into a town and I follow both Alex and Darius into the Inn too get rooms.

I go grab my bag out of the jeep and Alex takes it from me. By now after laying in the jeep and the time that has passed my body feels stiffer than sore really I'm sure Alex mistakes the look on my face for pain.

"Your hurt ok, just let me help you a little will you," he said as he followed me up to the room that was mine.

"I need to take a shower," I said, "to clean up, wash the blood off me, then I'll be fine, I'll feel human again."

"I'll wait out here for you," he said sitting on the bed.

"Alex," I said.

"I'm concerned, I care," he said.

"I know you do," I said.

I go into the bath room and strip off my clothes, or mine and Alex's clothes, and step into the shower as I begin pulling off the bandages. It has now been about six hours sense the fight and I have healed quite a lot, dried blood washed down the drain from my wounds that are mostly healed up, oh sure it just really began to scab up but it was much better than it had been before, I'm sure by morning it will be gone completely.

As I get out of the shower and begin to dress Alex knocks on the bath room door and I open it up a crack. I'm already in my pants and a shirt and he looks at me funny.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I'm sorry I just got worried, when you got shot I got scared, seeing you hurt scared me."

"I'm ok," I said.

"Can I see for myself, dress the wounds for you," he asked

"Sure," I said.

He lifts my shirt and looks at how much it's already healed up.

"Wow," he says.

"I would assume that by morning I'll have not even a scratch to brag about," I said.

"By the gods," he said, "how?"

"I don't know," I said, "it's just something I've always done."

"Yeah but," he said.

"Come on Alex," I said, "do you really think this is the first time I have questioned myself, questioned who and what I am, or why I can do half of what I can do? I just know I can, I don't know why and no one would ever tell me."

"It really scared me," he said.

"I know, you said that already," I said, "I'm sure Darius was a tad bit worried too."

He lightly touched my chin, lifting it and kissing my lips softly and I wanted to just melt into it in the worst way, to kiss him until we stripped off all our clothes and made love without care as to any consequence.

A knock on the door let me know it wasn't possible.

"Kassie," Darius called threw the door and I opened it up.

The moment Darius came in he saw Alex and looked away with a sigh.

"Darius," Alex said.

"She's a big girl Alex, I need no explanation and I'll give no lecture," Darius said, though he didn't look at either of us when he said it. "You put a man and a woman together long enough you have to accept that eventually feelings will be shared, these things just happen that way."

Then he turned to me, "Kassandra are you alright?"

I pulled my t-shirt up just enough to show how much I had healed already.

"I said I would be fine," I said.

"And go off you did," Darius said.

"Oh man I really for a moment there thought she was done, when she got shot I thought that was it." Alex said once again and I was starting to understand how fragile he thought or thinks I am.

"Yes and then she went off on them," Darius said, "miss clean here kicked the head off a man's shoulders."

"I got mad," I admitted, "I saw Anna's hand move and I heard her cry and I, I just knew that if we didn't end this soon her hand would stop moving, she would die."

"We understand that now," Darius said.

"um and about this here," Darius said motioning from Alex to me and back, "I know I said I won't lecture, but Kassie, your meant for something big, don't mess that up by doing something simple."

He didn't have to explain to me what he meant by that, I knew what he meant. I had always said I wasn't going to have sex or fall in love, I also said I never wanted to be anyone's mother. When I Slept with Alex, if I had gotten pregnant than my hero days would have been over before they began.

"Yes sir," I said.

"I'm not saying you don't deserve happiness Kassie," Darius said touching my chin, "it's in your blood to do so anyhow, I'm just saying to be careful, both of you be careful. And by the way watch is not the place for romance, those bad guys could have easily come up on us this morning and killed us all before we knew what was going on. It kind of ruins a man's day waking up half dead. Hell I had been up and walking around a good ten minutes before the first explosion and neither of you heard me."

"I was perfectly awake," Alex said, "I woke up on my own and all, I don't understand how I fell asleep."

"Me either," I said

"You were comfortable," Darius says shrugging his shoulders, "whenever Shauna and I are together it's the same way, the best sleep I ever get is with her in my arms."

"Shauna," I asked

"Um, Lady Shauna DeWhite," Alex says, I had never heard her called by her first name before, not in fifteen months.

"It's a lonely school," Darius says.

"Well ok than," I said.

That night after we ate in the tavern Alex went back to my room again, he lay in my bed and softly kissed my lips and made love to me again, and then I fell asleep in his arms.

"How are you feeling today," Alex asked a few moments after I opened my eyes and I smiled.

"Check for yourself," I said and he moved the dressings and saw nothing there at all, it had healed up completely.

Alex kissed my stomach where it had been hit than back up my body to my lips.

"I told you I would be ok," I said.

"I know but I've never seen anything like that before," he said

I left Alex laying in my bed as I took my shower the he got in while I dressed and combed out my hair.

"Thanks for the cold water," he joked a few moments after he got in and I laughed.

When he got out and wrapped himself in a towel and I couldn't take my eyes off him, off the muscles rippling under his tan skin, the ruins tattooed on his skin. I couldn't help myself, I really liked him, I knew he really liked me too, I was starting to feel like this was it, that something that mama talked about, that thing that would eventually happen to even me, love.

"Penny for your thoughts," he finally asked.

"I don't think you want to know what I'm thinking," I said looking away as my face reddened up.

"Should I be afraid," he asked.

"No," I said with a laugh, "I really wasn't thinking anything that I haven't already done."

He looked in my eyes and kissed me.

"You know as well as I do if we don't get down there Darius will be coming looking for us to get on the road again," I said but I was melting into it already.

"I know he will and he doesn't want to lecture either," Alex said but he still kissed me again and started pulling up my shirt.

"At least you haven't gotten dressed yet," I said and he started kissing my neck and ear.

When we finally got down to the tavern, after putting our bags in the jeep, Darius had already eaten and was just sitting there waiting for us.

"I'm not asking," He said, "however we have a lot of road to cover today, yesterday set us back some."

"Where are we going anyhow," I asked

"Down near Kansas, Indian territory," Darius says, "to pick up someone for Lord Coake, we are to pick him up and bring him back to the school."

"We are on a quest to pick someone up," Alex said

"Who," I asked?

"A master in a way, and a paradox shaman," Darius says, "it's not that he couldn't get there on his own or anything, it's just that it's respectful this way, besides it got us out of the academy didn't it, I was getting a little restless I guess.

"Anyway isn't part of a knights training real life training, I do believe we have accomplished that too. She needed to get into a real fight to see how she would handle it and herself and she did just fine, it's a chance to learn what it really means to be a cyber-knight."

"Ok, true," Alex says, "why am I here though?"

"Oh come on Alex," Darius says, "you're a restless one, you can't stay in one place long and you never could. Don't try to lie to me, lie to yourself, but not to me."

Why did that sound to me like a fatherly warning of such?

We get back on the road and travel, taking turns driving; it would seem to me that the kid gloves were now officially off.

While I drove and Darius slept Alex teased me some, tickling my leg, asking me questions about training when he wasn't there, reminiscing about the few times we had spared when we were first making our way to the academy.

Darius took over driving as we got closer to our destination.

"They call him angry bear," Darius says, "he's around fifty eight and he wanted to see the academy again before he is gone."

"Gone," I say.

"He's an old man Kassie," Darius says, "he's dying; old age has gotten to him."

As we pulled up Darius turned to me, "Kassie, these are peaceful people, seers of prophecy and such, be on your best behavior."

"Yes sir," I said. I partly wondered what it was that he thought I may do that I shouldn't do.

Dusk was upon us and we are invited to sit around a fire and eat some meat and flat bread with some kind of ale like drink that even has me feeling funny, while a man tells stories of the old world, before the cataclysm happened. Alex sits by me, closer than I would have expected him to, and I comfortably lay my head on his shoulder.

"we have huts set up for you if you like some rest," a woman tells us all, though I feel almost as if she looks at me more than my party members, "I know the travel is tiring, you all look as if you could use a good night's rest before continuing your journey."

"Thank you," we all say in our own way.

Alex and I could have had our own hut but after the last few nights I think we both know better than to even think about it, I think Darius does to.

"You know it's a futile thought as much as I do," he says before going into his hut to sleep.

"The man has a point," Alex says.

In the hut we crawl into a pallet like bed, not much different than the bed I had at home in the pantry all those years, and fell asleep as Alex holds me close to him, all night long.

I grow restless and wake before the sun for whatever reason I don't know, but I pull myself out of the arms of my new lover for I don't want to disturb him.

I wonder about the camp a bit unsure if I even should be doing it, but the more I wonder the more restless I get, the more I just feel there is something about me here I don't understand.

It's pretty here, the few stars left in the sky, the way the moon shines down its last lights of the night before the sun takes over the sky and the day begins. It feels to me as if the sky, the moon itself shined brighter for some reason.

"Hello," I hear a man say and I jump looking and seeing an Indian man not much older than I, he stands there wearing tan leather pants and no shirt.

"I, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to over step," I say

"You're not," he says, "I'm Running Bear, Angry Bear is my grandfather, I am a spirit warrior, do you know what that is?"

"No, I'm sorry I don't," I said

"I can see you, your inner self," he says, "I have to ask you, do you even know what it is that you are yet?"

"no I don't," I said, I don't know why I said it, why I'm trusting this boy I don't know but I am as I was drawn out to him.

"You're a being of great power," he says, "one who will grow in power and strength and greatness, every day of your life, until one day you reach godhood. Right now you are what is called a demi-god, either blessed by a god, or a group of gods even, or created by one."

"Created,"

"You know, the way a child is created, born to a parent," he says.

"My father," I say more to myself then to him.

"Either way it is something special if I may," he said.

"I don't understand,"

"To be blessed means a god thought enough of you to bless you, to be created by one means the god wanted you to exist for one reason or another," he says.

"I don't understand."

"gods aren't like normal man, when a man and a woman spend time together there is only a chance of conception based on her body," he says, "gods don't work that way, when they want to have a child it happens, they decide it."

I think deep down I knew, all this time I knew. When Athena showed up, the things she said, everything I read in that book, even the dream, I think I knew, I just couldn't see it, I couldn't draw the lines to make the picture until someone showed me the numbers I hadn't noticed before.

"Maybe you would like a moment to think alone," He said?

"Yeah, thank you," I said as I walked off alone.

I ended up sitting down on a rock for a long time just letting the events of my life run through my mind, the people who have helped me, the people who have hurt me along the way, how different I really was.

All this time I sit there waiting for something, or maybe nothing, maybe just for my mind to adjust somehow, I don't know, all I knew was I needed this time alone.

"Kass," I heard Alex say as he walks up behind me. Just how long I had been gone I don't know I'm actually not even aware of the tears on my face until Alex kneels down and begins to wipe them from my face. "Kassandra what's wrong?"

I just shook my head and said nothing, just let him hold me close for a moment.

"Hay, Darius is waiting for you, he wants to get on the road, we just didn't know where you were," he tells me as he pulls me to my feet.

"Come on babe, what's wrong?"

"Alex please, I can't right now," I said feeling the tears begin to well up again and I didn't know why really.

I let Alex lead me back to the camp and the jeep.

The moment Darius sees the sadness in my face he too grows concerned also and asks what was wrong, I just couldn't, I can't yet, I don't know just why or how to explain to him or anyone else, I just can't. Then again how exactly do you explain to anyone something you yourself don't really understand?

Angry Bear seems to understand something and he sits in the front with Darius who takes the wheel, and I sit in the back with my head resting on Alex's shoulder. After a while I drift off into sleep.

This time I recognize it as it happens, I see the fog, I see the pillars appearing, as I see the building behind it, I even see the great garden, the trees and bushes full of fruits and olives. The stone steps are in front of me and I don't hesitate a moment, I just walk up them and inside the building to the main room, to see both fire places going, large flames flickering and filling the room with warmth, but I see no one sitting on the marble throne. I look around expecting him to be anywhere; I just don't see him at all.

"Hello," I yell, "father… Hercules…"

I get nothing, not one response from my father.

I walk over to the marble steps and sit down; it's the same spot I sat before when we were talking about my training, only he wasn't there now. I sit in hopes he'll appear, thinking maybe he's running late, if a god can do that.

"Oh Kassandra," I finally hear only it's not a man's voice, it's a woman's, one I've heard before, and I see Athena walk out from a hall, toward me. This time she is in armor, but no helmet, showing just how our features are alike.

"Why look at you, how beautiful you are, I knew you would be," she says

"Athena," I say as I stood up and looked her way. "Where is my father?"

"I'm sorry Hercules can't be here right now," she says.

"Can someone just be honest with me for once?"

"Straight forward and honest isn't one our best qualities love, I'm sorry," she said, she is now next to me and she smiles. "I liked that move though, kicking the head off and all, saving the girl; I always knew you had it in you. Oh sure Hera is a bit angry, I mean healing and all, it's her thing and you ended up with it, though it is also Apollo's. Let's face it she isn't exactly one of your old man's beigest fan's, never has been. Oh but my half-brother sure is one proud father, I haven't seen him so animated sense you went to the academy, his daughter, the hero in training, the cyber-knight."

"There is so much I don't understand," I admitted.

"I'm sure there is," she said gently touching my face. "A book just doesn't cover all the bases does it?"

"No it doesn't," I said.

"Oh honey," she said, "you're so young still, and my half-brother loves you, he hates that he can't be here for you, to be the one to teach you about life and being the offspring of a god and all, you are the favorite you know, the one to teach Hercules that a woman can be strong and powerful and yet also soft and beautiful. He wasn't always a god you know, he had to earn it the way you will, unlike some of us who were born into it easily."

"You were born a god," I said

"Oh yes," she said, "I have a few brothers and sister who were, but that was in the book my dear,"

"It's been a while," I said.

"Just between you and me though," she says, "he knows nothing of the other night, or any sense. Your vow of chastity was made as a child, with a child's thought and mind, it was broken with a woman's heart, don't worry love, I don't see a problem with it."

"Alex," I said looking away than back, "oh no, he's not going to be mad or anything will he?"

"that my dear I can't tell you," she says, "on one hand your no longer a small child anymore, your one of us and let's face it we are known well for our affairs, or I should say most of us are, on the other hand he is your father and he has been known in the past, and present, for his temper."

"Will they think different of me if they know what it is I am?"

"The child of a god you mean?"

"Well yes,"

"Some won't believe you," she said, "others will awe you in a way, do for you as a worshiper would, others will fear you for the things you can do or what they fear you may do to them."

I looked off, it was why I sat there for so long, wondering what it was I was and how others, how Alex, even Darius, would react or treat me if they knew what I was. The conversation in the car with Alex had played thru my mind a few times as he wondered if I were like him and now I know I'm not.

"You need not worry about something's though," she tells me, "there are many upsides to being a demi-god you know."

"Such as," I asked

"in case you haven't noticed, there are a few human traits you don't have to deal with, as you mother told you would, it will never happen dear, not to you, and you can't get pregnant unless you want to. The different drinks you have there won't affect you the same as it will normal man. You heal fast without scars, and you can take an exceptional amount of damage before you get hurt, though Hercules preferred to scar to prove his battles, it was something he wanted. You will also live a rather long life."

"How long?"

"Who knows, a hundred years, a thousand maybe longer even?"

"Athena," I say looking her way, one thing about leaving home had always bothered me, my mother, "is my mother alright without me there?"

"Child you need not worry about such things," she said, "Zeus had a thing for Hercules mother, its part why Hera hated Hercules so much, Zeus had in fact loved her in his own way, it was why he gave her his son. Herc for whatever reason loved your mother enough to give her you, it's not something he will just get over, not that man, and like father like son he will protect your mother in a way."

"Kassie one thing you have to understand," she said, "gods only have power if they have worshipers. On your world we have little power to help you because we have few worshipers, we are limited. So while Hercules wants to see you, he wants to be involved more and help you along, he doesn't have the ability to do so, he has to get help from others first."

"I understand," I said

"Good," she said, "he loves you, he looked hard for someone to train you that worshiped us, believed in us, he wouldn't just let anyone train you."

"Darius," I said.

"Yes," she said, "now wake my dear, the world has been going on without you and you need join it, they care about you, and are worried, they don't understand."

As suddenly as before when everything had turned into my room, I am now in the jeep alone, and we have stopped, I'm the only one in the jeep now. Night approaches, Alex and Darius have already set up tents and set traps to catch us something for breakfast, as usual whenever we make camp.

I get out of the jeep wiping the sleep out of my eyes and wondering over to the fire that was already going.

I tried to smile but still I'm unsure about how I feel about this, I mean yes my father loves me but I fear how Alex and Darius will react if I tell them what it is I am. I fear they will think differently of me.

The one thing I now knew for sure, mama must have known, she must have understood the Olympian Pantheon enough that she recognized Athena's name way back when I mentioned her on accident, she had to have realized I knew something, that I was figuring something out. She had to have known, look at my name.

As I sit there Angry Bear looks my way, I'm not sure where Alex or Darius are right now.

"You have spoken to my grandson this day have you not," Angry Bear says.

"Yes sir I did," I say.

"Still digesting your fate are you not," he says.

"In a way yes," I say, "but my future has yet to happen, that I have to believe I have some say in how it's written out, no it's my past that pulls me down."

"Kassandra," he says, "I am a very old man, I have traveled a good portion of my life, probably fathered a child or two I still have yet to meet and never will. Sometimes whether we like it or not there is just nothing we can do about it. Perhaps you aren't the only one who has regrets about the years that have gone now."

I look his way, "perhaps your right."

"I see how deeply Alex cares for you," he says, "a man my age doesn't need a special power or essence to see such things. Darius worries how it will affect you when Alex leaves, and he will, that boy you have to know how a quest at heart, a reason of his own, his own journey he has to make before the end of his days. Some of that journey he will take with you I believe, even years from now, and some of it will be alone or with other adventures he will meet along the way. When the time comes for the wind to carry him away from you again you must accept that it is something that is beyond both of your control, these are winds set in motion long ago for the both of you. Don't shed him tears, don't curse his name, just say you're I love you's and promises for the next time around and let him go. Believe that you will meet up again in time."

"yes sir," I said, thinking how funny it was that his words both heavy and lighted my heart in a way, for I never thought love was a part of my destiny, yet deep down in my heart I feel its fires burning much like the fire before me does.

Soon Alex and Darius join us with something they already skinned to put on the fire and roast for diner.

No matter how I try to push aside my thoughts I can't, I even just partly pick threw diner, not really eating anything.

"Kassie what is wrong," Darius finally asked and truly I don't know how to answer him.

"Nothing," I said as I try to force a smile.

"Bull," Alex said, "it's more than obvious that you're sad, something is making you sad, you were even crying, we just care Kass, what is it?"

I look down and wrap my arms around my body a moment, holding myself some.

"Kassie, it's alright," Darius says.

"You have a belief," I said looking at Sir Darius Cartain, "your belief, it's something you know, or knew, from the beginning, why couldn't you just tell me?"

"Yes Kassandra I did and I do," Darius says with a heavy sigh, "when someone like that appears to you and tells you to do something you do it without questioning it, you just don't decline. I guess I wanted you to understand yourself more before I threw that on you, I know you, I know how you are, and I believe that deep down you knew it yourself, I believed you could figure it out yourself. It just wasn't my place to tell you who or what you are."

"What," I say feeling once again as if I would cry, how many times had pa talked to me as if I were less than human, a what, not a who, like I were nothing more than the animal we were now eating.

"Kassie," Darius says, "you're a good person, I have never met anyone like you before, I doubt I ever will again, your beautiful yes, but there is so much more to you than just an appearance. You're mature beyond your age, intelligent, alive; you're not just your father's strength, abilities given to you by the gods for one reason or another."

A tear actually escapes my eyes no matter how I want to hold in my emotions and I hate it, oh how I wish a monster would pop up and I could smash it to bits with my bare hands just to let out my frustrations.

"Why your upset I don't know," Darius says, "but you're a good person Kassie, and I believe in you. I have enjoyed this time, the last year and so many months, to hell, or Hades and his river sticks for that matter, with the rest of it. Just smile, live life to the fullest knowing you can do whatever you want with it, and don't let them down. From our meeting he has a great admiration for you, a love and a respect; he would have been the one here if he could have been."

"That's what Athena said," I said.

"Athena," Alex said, "again with Athena, the goddess of war."

"She came to me again," I said, "in the jeep, while I was asleep, telling me how much he cares about me and why he can't be here for me."

I sit up a good portion of the night thinking about everything that I just don't seem to be understanding. Oh Darius is right, to hell with it all, I'm still me aren't I?

When Darius takes watch and tells me to go to bed I lay there tossing and turning but not sleeping at all. My mind is just too full of things I can't explain to sleep.

Than Alex crawls in next to me and pulls me into him arms.

"I thought if neither of us are sleeping alone, maybe we could not sleep together," he says and it feels good to be in his arms, to hear and feel his heart beating, it feels better than I think he can understand. Our lips find each other's and we kiss and touch for a long time but nothing else, finally sleep takes over.

We wake to Darius shaking the tent.

"I'm not coming in there but I will toss in some water if I must," Darius says.

"I'm awake," I say and Alex laughs.

"We are also dressed still," Alex says

"With you two lately one can't be too sure," Darius says and I laugh.

We come out and sit by the fire eating before picking up camp and getting back in the jeep, back on the road again, this time Alex and I take the front seat as Alex drives.

"Ah love," Angry Bear says looking at Alex and I and how we tease each other.

"I don't understand," I say looking back at Angry Bear, it's apparent my spirits are lighter today than they had been the day before. "You're not a mean person, so why do they call you Angry Bear?"

"As a small baby I grew rather angry when hungry, my mother would say, 'what an angry little bear he is,' I guess it stuck, though I dropped the little part many years ago," Angry Bear said.

"Are you serious," I asked and Darius laughed?

"Very child," Angry Bear said and I turned back to Alex who smiled at me, took my hand in his and kissed it.

We are traveling a different route to the academy than we took here for the beginning of the trip had to do with my birthday I have learned, and the trip back shouldn't take quite as long to get back. We travel through the night, stopping to stretch our legs and change drivers. Then finally we get to a town and stop to eat and get rooms for some sleep, this time Alex and I don't even bother with separate rooms, we share and lay in bed next to each other sleeping through the night.

I see as we get closer to the academy what Alex meant before, the path is different, and I feel it, I know we are going the right way.

As we pull up Sir John comes out to greet us with another gentleman, he had rather large brood shoulders, he is actually a rather attractive man, and the only part of him that tells he is older is the slight bit of grey around his temples.

"Angry Bear," the man says as we all get out of the jeep.

"Coake," Angry Bear says and I gulp back the lump in my throat as I try to hide myself some, standing behind Alex and Darius.

I can honestly say this was one man I never in my life expected to meet.

"How was the trip," Coake asked Angry Bear?

"Good," Angry Bear said, "You have some good people here still."

"That's what I hear," Lord Coake said looking our way and I look down.

"You must be Kassandra," Coake says looking my way.

Alex and Darius laughed at me and step aside some so I'm no longer hidden behind them.

"Yes sir," I nervously said, my nerves not letting me even make eye contact with this man.

"The one who exposed evil in my little school here," he says and I roll my eyes a little, not that it was for him but for Weston and all he did.

"Yes sir," I said

"Well I see everything else I have heard it also true," Coake says and Darius laughs.

"I'm sure after such a long trip miss clean here would like nothing more than a nice shower and some clean clothes to go with it," Darius says in a way coming to my rescue.

"Miss clean," Coake says.

"Kass hates being dirty," Alex teased.

"Yes," I said, "actually I would love a shower, in fact I suggest it to you too Alex, and Darius even, it's been a long trip. Now if you will excuse me I believe there is a hot shower calling my name, with pretty smelling soaps and fluffy towels, clean clothes."

"Not to mention some home cooked grub when you are ready Kassie," Sir John says looking my way.

"Thank you," I said as I went passed him and into the house, back to my room.

In my room I tossed my bag on my bed and shook my head, oh I came off like such a dork, and I'm supposed to be the offspring of a god, a demi-god am I, and yet I can't speak to a man, even if he is the one who created this school, the cyber-knights in general.

I stripped off my clothes and went into the bath room as I pulled my hair out of my pony tail it had been in for the past day and a half and turned on the water in the hopes I could lose myself in the hot water and forget I was such a tongue tide geek.

"You really don't handle stress well do you," I hear and I jump, though I know its Alex saying it, I was in the shower and wasn't expecting to hear anyone. "And how did you get a privet room, a rather nice one too with a bathroom?"

"Excuse me sir but should you be in here," I asked him, "I didn't pick it, and no I don't, I didn't expect him to be here, I didn't expect I would ever meet him, ever."

Alex opens the shower door and peeks in on me.

"Alex," I say a little in shock at him.

"I kissed all over that body I remind you," he says and I laugh.

I leaned forward and kissed him.

"Like that," I asked

"Hmm, something is different," he says taking hold of my arms and pulling me closer to him as he kissed my shoulder, than up to my neck and lips. By now he might as well be in the shower with me for he is getting wet anyhow.

"Yeah that's about right," he says as he kisses me again, a hand running down my naked body.

"This isn't fair," I hear myself say breathlessly; "you have me at a disadvantage."

He looks at me and smiles than pulls his shirt off and tosses it to the floor, than takes a moment to pull his boots off too.

"Alex," I say thinking for a moment, "Wait what about?"

"Coake is in the kitchen with John and Darius talking old war stories with Angry Bear." Alex says as he finishes getting undressed and climbing into the shower with me.

"Besides I do believe someone said I needed a shower too," he said as his hands went to my body again, our bodies taking over for us, our hands and lips having a mind of their own.

Oh I was losing myself in this, in him, in everything he was doing to me.

Alex easily lifts me up as my legs wrap around his waist and I closed my eyes as the ecstasy took over my thinking, my back against the shower wall and my hand gripping his arms in hope I wouldn't hurt him.

"You like living dangerously don't you," I say and he responds by kissing me again.

We get out of the shower laughing and teasing, kissing each other.

He picks up his clothes from the floor.

"I think I need some clean dry clothes," he says.

"I would say so," I said but the smiles don't last as I realize I can't keep doing this if I can't be honest with him, if I'm always afraid he might find out and think differently of me.

"Um Alex," I say growing a little serious.

"Yes," he says as he caressed my face with his thumb.

"Do you think you would feel differently about me, I mean, my heritage," I asked hopping with everything in me he didn't say yes.

"Kass," he says, "I would hope you would know you can tell me anything and it would not affect the way I feel about you."

"Ok," I said thinking here goes nothing, after all Darius knew right, he had always known. "My father is, um, he's an um, wow this is harder to say than I thought it would be. Hercules is my father."

Alex sits on my bed without saying anything for a moment.

"Are you ok," I asked?

"I slept with the daughter of the god of strength, he could brake me in half with his bare hands," he said.

"Yeah," I say or half joke as I sit next to him, "there goes that vow of chastity."

"Oh tell me that was a joke," he says.

"I wish I could," I say, "but I was a little kid when I made that vow, like eleven, I never thought I would ever want or, anyhow Athena said it was a concept of a child's mind not a woman's heart."

"But your father is the god of strength," Alex says.

"Explains a couple things I guess," I say, "are you ok, I mean I know I'm different and all, a freak for real, but."

He doesn't let me finish, he grabs my arms and pushes me back on to my bed laying over me with his strong body and kisses me than looks into my eyes.

"Living on the edge," I say?

"well I already de-flowered his daughter I guess there is no turning back from that," Alex says, "but stop, your different yes, special yes, you're not a freak, you never were and you never will be."

"So you don't think I'll turn into the Medusa, luring men to their doom."

"What,"

"Just something I kind of used to think, "

"No," he said, "never, you're beautiful, you're everything, hear me."

"Yes sir," I say and he laughs and rolls his eyes.

My stomach starts to growl and we both laugh.

"tell you what," Alex says, "get dressed, and let me go get dressed, and I'll meet you in the kitchen, where that scary man that intimidates you sits telling old war stories with our friends."

"Deal," I said.

While we were in the different towns I bought myself clothes, one thing that we had all agreed on was that without armor I would go through a lot of clothes. I pulled out one of my new white tank tops and a pair of black pants and left my hair down for a change. Then I head down to the kitchen where they are all sitting around a large plate of nachos eating and talking. Only moments after I walked in Alex walked in too.

"Feeling better Kassie," Darius asked, and I nodded.

"Alex did you go shower too," John asked.

"Yeah," he said as I grabbed a cup of water.

"Kassandra must be growing on you lad," John said.

Darius says nothing just looks at Alex and then me and shakes his head.

"Lad," Coake said, "John you're like what thirty five now?"

I sit over by Darius who looks to me like he knew something I didn't.

"Thirty six," John said.

"And Alex is how old now," Coake asked

"Over thirty six sir," Alex says looking away.

"Over a hundred isn't it," Coake said and I choked on my water.

"Your how old," I asked?

"I'm Atlantean, we age differently and live longer," he said, "but basically I'm the equivalent of twenty three."

I had to stop and wonder just how much we don't know about each other.

"You're the daughter of a god Kass, get used to long life, you definitely won't die like most."

"No most knights die young and in battle," Angry Bear says.

"I think I will just shut my mouth now," I said as I picked up a chip and put it in my mouth and Darius starts bragging about the fight we had on our way out with those white guys and how I kicked the head off one of them and I rolled my eyes. As Darius explains the wounds on my body Alex winces some at the memory.

"Yet she just ignores it all, the blood, the pain, just to find anyone who we could save in the wreckage, and heals the little girl and her grandfather." Darius says.

"I said I would be fine," I say.

"Yeah you said I'll be fine, not my daddy is a god and I heal because of it," Alex says.

"You never said I'm over a hundred years old either." I say looking at him, "besides I didn't really know completely until I talked to Running Bear and then Athena."

"Well ok than," Darius said, "I'm sure you get the idea it was an interesting trip,"

"Yes, it seems to have been," John says, "spirit warriors, gods, and kicking heads off."

"Oh my," I tease.

That night I lay in my bed alone, not really awake and yet not really sleeping either. I have to wonder is Alex is having as many problems in his room, over on the other side of the school, the knights quarters?

Before dawn I give up on sleep altogether and get up to take a hot shower before getting dressed in my robes and heading to the kitchen to start breakfast.

I make some scrambled eggs with peppers and cheese mixed in, than some bacon, bread, and a pot of coffee.

The first to get up is Coake and I'm still feeling intimidated around him.

"Well good morning," he says as he comes in the kitchen and getting a cup of coffee for himself. "I got up figuring I would cook for a change for the students."

"Darius usually does it but I guess I was up and all," I said

I went back to what I was doing feeling nervous being alone in the kitchen, any room really, with Lord Coake of all people, almost like being alone with pa only it was nerve racking instead of terror; kind of wonder what I would feel like if I were alone in a room with my father, in the flesh and all?

"Why do I get the feeling you don't care too much for me," he asked?

"I'm sorry," I said looking his way, I really didn't realize it was so obvious, "I, well, I'm sorry, I guess I'm intimidated easily. I really don't mean anything about it."

To my luck Darius is the next to come in, and soon.

"Good morning sunshine," Darius says as he comes in, he looks over at Coake and than at me, "am I interrupting something?"

"Morning sir," I say

"I'm intimidating," Coake said.

"To some I suppose," Darius says than Alex comes in and goes straight for the coffee.

"Sleep poorly," Darius asks and Alex rolls his eyes.

"Let's not," Alex says. He looks over at me and I know just how he feels because I feel the same way, I didn't sleep without him next to me either.

After we all eat it's time to go to class and it feels strange after being out in the real world and real combat. I mean yes all the same people are there, Tim, Jimmy, Sam, even Tiffany and Frank, there are other faces as always too, ones that came before or after I did, ones I just never got to know that well.

I can't help but wonder if Alex has something to do with why this feels so off, I mean after all, it's strange to go back to feeling like a student when technically I'm sleeping with someone only a few weeks before I felt was one of my teachers.

We all know Coake is there, that he is watching us, and it's unnerving in a way.

When time comes to spar I stay with Alex and everyone else.

It's Alex and I and it's the closest we had been sense he snuck into my shower and it was both fun and hard to resist kissing him.

"Oh interesting move there babe," Alex teased as he swiped me and I fell back on my back side.

"You're the one who is trying to hit a girl," I tease back, after I jumped back up. Then I swing and actually hit him.

"Ok, note to self," Alex says, "do not get hit by the mini god,"

"Mini," I say, "you didn't think I was that mini the other day,"

He stopped a moment and I swept him and he fell.

"That was cold," he said.

I laughed, "I know, but so is combat."

"Too shay," he says.

I spared with John too just not as much witty repartee as with Alex though I'm not real sure if anyone caught on to the idea that we had gone beyond friends just yet.

That night as I went into my room I found a note on my pillow.

'Here's to another lonely sleepless night, Will be thinking of you, Alex.'

That's all it says and I smile thinking of him, knowing he is going thru the same thing I am.

I lay there not sleeping either and give up, finding myself in the library reading some classic called 'Romeo and Juliet, and strangely thinking more about Alex.

Oh what is happening to me Diary?

Come morning Lord Coake leaves with Angry Bear. I sadly don't think I will ever see Angry Bear again and it hurts in a way, for even though it was just a short amount of time he impacted my life in a way.


End file.
